Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
LIVIANNA/LILY
Then
Nine Months Later
Shattered Bouquets & The Dagger of Goodbye
Some gifts wilt before they bloom, and I wonder if love was the poison or the cure.
Iyawn as I shuffle through my old bedroom in my parents’ house and open my door. The smell of bacon fills the air.
I pick up my pace and fix my messy bun on top of my head. I bounce down the back staircase.
“You better have made some for me.” I step into the kitchen and my mouth falls open. “Bren! What are you doing here?”
He places the spatula down and flashes me a lopsided grin. “You didn’t really think I’d miss your birthday, did you?”
“How did you get the time off?” I race over to him and we embrace in a tight hug.
“Mayhem is on a two-week hiatus.”
“You are?” I break away and my stomach spins.
“Yeah. I made everyone keep it a secret so I could surprise you. Pulling this off is pretty spectacular if I do say so myself.”
“I’ll give you credit. This is definitely a great birthday present, especially since we’re back on good terms.” I glance behind me and then face Bren.
I can’t help but feel like Callum is going to jump out of a secret hiding place.
Bren returns to the griddle and flips the bacon. “He’s not here.”
“Who?”
“Cash. Who else would I be talking about?”
“Dad?”
“They told me you knew they’ll be gone until noon.”
I pull out a stool and sit. “How did you know I was thinking Callum was around here somewhere?”
“I can clock you a mile away.”
“That’s comforting,” I say dryly.
He laughs. “Chill out. It’s not like you have much to hide these days.”
“How do you know that?”
“Mom and Dad told me you’ve been on a health kick. They said you haven’t been going out or even dating.”
“I haven’t had the time.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard.” He flashes me a sympathetic smile. “Is your business struggling that much?”
I shrink inside and shrug. “It’s not doing great.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to resuscitate it?”
“That’s what I’m counting on.”
“How does moving to Paris help your brand?”
Butterflies release inside of me. “I know people who live there. If I can convince them to help me, I could find my way out of this hole I’ve dug myself into.”
“I knew you fucking your marketing director was going to cause issues.”
“It did no such thing.” My cheeks burn and I collapse into myself. “Who am I kidding? It was a terrible decision. Once I put a stop to it and he quit, my advertisements and marketing efforts went to shit.”
“Live and learn.” Bren takes some bacon off the griddle and places it on a plate. “Again, how does going to Paris help?”
“It’s a fashion mecca.”
“If you say so.”
“It is. Besides that, I’ll get there right before the Paris fashion week starts.”
The front door alarm chimes, alerting us that someone has entered the house. I brace myself for what I think is coming.
“Bren, do you know who—”
“Happy birthday, Lily.” Callum’s Irish accent is more detectable. Probably because they’ve been touring Europe.
“Thanks.” I turn my stool his way and nearly gasp when he comes into view.
He’s disheveled and doesn’t look healthy. He’s still as attractive as ever, but his skin is pale.
Even from where I am, I can tell his pupils are pinpoints. It’s the telltale sign he’s high right now.
“These are for you.” He holds out a bouquet of black and white lilies and approaches me. “They’re just a small token to show you how sorry I am for—”
“You shouldn’t have.” I glance at Bren, not wanting to rehash any of the past.
He’s zeroed in on Callum like he’s trying to figure something out. I get off my stool and give Callum a quick hug while trying to keep my heart from jumping out of my body.
I step back and take them from him. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
“They have nothing on you.” Callum traces the flowers tattooed on my chest with his fingertip.
I’m wearing a low-cut button-down pajama shirt. Callum must have taken it as an invitation to touch me.
I brush his hand away. “Please don’t. I know where your hands have been.”
Callum drops his arm to his side. “Sorry.”
One word that carries so much meaning. The past two years have been full of situations and actions for which he constantly tries to apologize.
I have some myself, but I never cheated on him. Before I can respond, Bren rounds the counter.
He stands before Callum. “You’re trashed. You promised me you wouldn’t do this.”
“No, I’m not. I’m hungover, Guns.” Callum runs his palm over his neck. “I got called in and had to—”
“Where?” Bren goes rigid. “Did you have a meeting after we pulled in last night?”
“Yeah.” Callum lowers his head. “I just woke up and saw the time. I didn’t want to miss the breakfast celebration.”
“Next time, let me go.” Bren claps Callum’s shoulder.
“Never.” His burning glare snaps to Bren’s understanding expression. “Guns, you gave me your word. If you ever consider going in my place… Don’t test me. I’ll stop you if you try.”
Bren huffs and snags his plate of bacon.
“Livianna, I’ll make you something once you two are done talking.” He stomps out of the kitchen.
Callum’s gaze lingers on Bren as he disappears up the stairs.
What the hell is going on between them?
I stride to the cabinet where my mom keeps the flower vases. “Let me put these in water and you can tell me why you’re here.”
Callum treks to my side, takes the lilies from me, and places them down. “I’m here because I can’t let you go. Lily, I… I need you. You’re the only one for me.”
“It’s been two years and I know everything you’ve done since then.”
“None of that matters.”
The misery etched in the creases of his face has my heart breaking all over again.
“Callum, why would you want to go back to the toxic relationship we shared?”
“It wasn’t like that and you know it.” He weaves his fingers with mine and pulls me closer to him. “I still love you like I did when we first started dating. Don’t you get it? You’re part of me.”
“Callum…” My insides whirl with a thousand different emotions and love clearly stands out as the most prominent one. I force it down and focus on all of what he’s done. “If you loved me like you say you do, you wouldn’t want anyone else.”
“I don’t want anyone but you.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“You should because it’s the damn truth.” He leans down and presses his forehead to mine. “Lily, please take me at my word. I’ve only ever loved and wanted you.”
My stomach sputters out tight waves of devastation and pain. So much fucking pain, I could curl into a ball and weep on the floor for hours.
“We both know it could never work out between us.” I push him away. “You should go.”
“No. I can’t walk away again without giving us everything I have. If I could, I swear on my life I would, but I’m broken inside.” His entire body shakes. “God knows it would be better for you if I just let you go, but I’m lost without you.”
“If you know I’m better off without you, why stand here and beg for something even you think is detrimental?”
“Because the only thing that calms my nightmare of a life is you. Ask Guns. He’ll tell you I scream out your name when I’m sleeping. Don’t you see you’re the only thing that matters to me anymore?”
“How can you say that? You have everything you’ve dreamed of since you were a kid.”
“I’d give it all back if I could have another chance with you.”
“I’m not the answer you’re looking for.” My chest caves in like it does every time we run into each other.
“If I clean myself up and prove to you I can be the man you deserve, would you consider getting back together?”
All the good memories we shared flip through my thoughts. We used to be so in love. Maybe we could get back to that.
I give him an unconvincing smile. “Get yourself together and then let’s talk.”
“I will. Just wait, Lily. You’ll see. When I come back from touring, I’ll show you exactly who I can be for you.”
“I really hope you’re right.”
“I am.” He inches toward me, glancing at my mouth.
He studies me for any indication I’m going to stop him. I don’t move a muscle. If he wants to kiss me, then he should.
He takes me into his arms and brushes his lips against mine. His clean, ocean breeze cologne rises into my nose.
I open my mouth more and our tongues caress each other’s as if we’re trying not to break a delicate piece of fine art.
We breathe together as we finally enjoy a meaningful connection. One we’ve both missed for a long time.
He pulls away and stares beams of love into my eyes. “I love you.”
“I know, but you should go.”
“Yeah, right. You’re leaving for Paris soon.”
“In about ten hours and I still have a lot to do.”
“Then this is exactly how I want you to remember me.” He plants a quick kiss on my cheek. “Call me when you land.”
“How about I get settled first?”
“Whatever is best for you.”
I walk him to the door and we say one last goodbye. He leaves and I watch his car fade into the distance while I wonder if he’s sober enough to drive.
“You sure you’re ready to let go of the past two years and take him back?” Bren’s voice causes me to flinch.
I face him. “What am I doing? I’m moving and you guys are still touring. Us rekindling things is ridiculous. He couldn’t stay faithful the first time. What makes me believe he will now?”
Bren pegs me with a hard stare. “What if you knew that wasn’t the case? Do you think you could move on and finally let it go?”
“Bren, he cheated on me. How can you say he wouldn’t again?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
“What are you saying?”
He considers something for a moment. “If I could promise you he wouldn’t cheat, do you think you could move on from the past and start clean with him?”
“That’s a tall order.” I gesture to the kitchen. “You can fix me my birthday breakfast now. I’m starving.”
We go on with our day, chatting about his tour and my business. He hints around about how Callum isn’t as dishonest as I think he is. I just shake my head, thinking Bren’s under some kind of bro code trance.