6. Chapter 1
Whatever This Is
Evin
T he glow of her laptop screen cast a soft light over her face as she sat on her bed in complete darkness.
Wrapped in her blanket, she scrolled through Google, searching for sources for her voluntary history presentation on nationalism in the USA. Just as she found a promising article and was about to dive in, her phone vibrated.
Hey.
Bas.
A smirk tugged at her lips. The flickering light from her laptop bathed her sharp features in a warm shimmer.
Ever since the bonfire a few weeks ago, Bas had been acting differently. He was chasing her, openly vying for Evin’s attention, not just in private, like he used to, but now even in front of his school friends.
What was between them, however, was something no outsider could really understand.
Some called it a love-hate relationship, others labeled it toxic dependency. Even Evin saw it that way.
They had been in the same school since fifth grade, but this was not one of those cliché love stories where they understood each other effortlessly and ended up together forever.
If anything, it was the opposite.
They were known for teasing each other, fighting, breaking each other’s hearts—only to end up making out at some random party when no one expected it. While everyone was convinced that Evin had feelings for Bas, he always managed to make it seem like he couldn’t care less.
Every time things felt good between them, every time they were in sync, he would suddenly pull back, effortlessly slipping into his well-practiced indifference.
And despite the fact that they were both popular, they had absolutely nothing in common outside of this strange, magnetic pull that kept bringing them back together.
She should have learned by now.
Sebastian Montgomery was always playing games. And she was always losing.
He didn’t need to chase girls.
Birthday parties, private school events, tagged stories. He just showed up with his friends and stood there like he didn’t care.
Even girls from schools he’d never stepped foot in knew his name, up and down the coast.
Still, sometimes, when she least expected it, a memory crept in. A time when things between them had felt... different. Simpler. Before all the games.
__________
Snow crunched beneath her boots as she ran, breathless laughter spilling from her lips.
The cold air burned her lungs, but she couldn't care less.
They had been at it for nearly an hour, throwing snowballs, chasing each other through the fresh powder, their friends long forgotten somewhere behind them.
The school ski trip had felt like a blur of frozen mornings, aching muscles, and warm drinks in crowded lodges. But this? This moment? It was the part she’d never forget.
She heard the pounding footsteps behind her, knew he was catching up.
"Come on, Hayes," Bas taunted, his voice a mixture of amusement and challenge, "you're not seriously running from me."
Evin let out a piercing squeal, darting behind a small wooden shed at the farthest edge of the lodge's property.
She pressed her back against the wall, fighting to calm her racing heart, her grin so wide it felt like it would split her face.
Snowflakes clung stubbornly to her lashes, and her fingers tingled intensely within her gloves.
A sharp tug at her wrist.
A startled yelp, a forceful pull, and suddenly they were tumbling into the snow together, a chaotic blur of tangled limbs and uncontrollable laughter.
She landed hard on her back, breathless, with Bas on top of her, his forearms forming an unyielding cage around her. Their laughter faded into the hushed silence of the falling snow. The air between them crackled with electricity.
His breath, warm and tantalizing despite the frigid air, fanned against her cheek. His weight pressed down on her, sending a jolt of raw heat surging through her veins.
She should have moved. Should have spoken.
But she couldn't.
And then he kissed her.
The kiss came unexpectedly, yet the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
It was both gentle and searingly hot at the same time.
Nothing could have made that moment more perfect, and nothing could have taken it away from them .
The adrenaline still rushed through their veins, blending with the endorphins their bodies unleashed.
Even though the snow around them was freezing cold, their skin burned with the softness of the touch
By the time their lips parted, her breath was ragged, and so was his.
For one single, impossible moment, everything between them made sense.
“Told you I’d catch you.” Bas let out a breathless laugh. His voice was softer than usual, almost like he didn’t want the moment to end.
__________
Her fingers brushed over her lips. She closed her eyes, and for a moment, it felt as if she could still feel him. The warmth of his breath. The slow, deliberate way he kissed her, like he meant it. Like he wanted her.
But then she opened her eyes, and the illusion faded.
While he basked in the attention of every girl around him, it left her drained. Evin was beautiful, she knew that. Seductive. Desired. The stares from the boys were obvious. Predictable. Their interest bored her.
Only one had never looked at her like a prize. And that’s exactly why, without even trying, he’d already won her.
Evin lived a simple life. Bas, on the other hand, lived in one of the most exclusive and affluent neighborhoods on the outskirts of town. But it was never his privileged world that made him so attractive to her.
Deep down, no matter how much people laughed about them, she knew there was something real between them.
Evin and Bas were like magnets, drawn together just as easily as they repelled each other.
She was fire, always burning, unstoppable. He was ice, cool and impenetrable. Where Evin sought warmth and closeness, Bas lured her in with his unreachable coldness, challenging her to break through.
And even though they were so different, there was always this invisible force between them, pulling them back together, over and over again.
Each of them tried to stay in control.
But neither of them could resist the pull.
No matter how much he played the untouchable ice, a part of him still craved her fire.
The same fire that warmed him. And the same fire that threatened to melt him.
Bas
What are you doing?
Evin
Dodging idiots. You?
Bas
Thinking about the one I can't seem to dodge.
Evin
Wow. Almost sounded deep. You okay?
Bas
Since you can’t get me out of your head.
Evin
You mean since YOU can’t go a day without me? So? What do you want?
Bas
Don’t flatter yourself. But yeah
Can’t lie, you’ve been in my head all day.
Evin
That’s nothing new. But since when are you so... honest?
Bas
Since you started pretending you're not into it.
Evin
Oh please. What do you want?
Bas
I want to see you. To mess with your head a little. Maybe to steal a kiss if you’re lucky.
Evin
You mean if you're lucky!
Bas
Same thing ??
Evin
You really think you can handle me at the party?
Bas
Don't want to handle you, just claim you
Evin
We'll see about that.
Bas
I'll show you.
Like always.
Her breath hitched.
While her mind raced in a dozen different directions, heat spread over her skin.
She kicked off her blanket, shaking her head as if she could somehow shake off the feeling that had settled under her skin.
A tingling sensation crawled beneath her scalp.
A small part of her knew this would all end in tears one day.
She remembered exactly what he had said to her in the cafeteria last year.
“You know… you’d be kinda perfect, if you just stopped trying so hard.”
She had laughed it off in the moment, but later that evening, when she was alone, those words had replayed over and over in her head.
Maybe that was why, even now, she still second-guessed herself around him.
Maybe that was why she hated that she cared at all.
She pushed that thought aside. Tonight, she didn’t want to think about tomorrow.
Evin was already planning to go to the party with her friends, Milka and Hannah, one of the biggest events of the year. Everyone would be there.
As she typed her next message, her tongue brushed over her lips absentmindedly.
Evin
You’re making me curious… How about you show me tomorrow at the party?
Bas
Let’s see… but what if I don’t want you around other guys at the party?
Evin
Jealous, Bas? That’s new.
Bas
Maybe I don’t want to share you. What if I want you all to myself?
Evin
Possessive much?
Bas
Maybe I am.
I just don’t like the idea of someone else thinking they have a chance with you.
That’s all.
What the hell did he really want from her?
She knew she had asked herself that question too many times, but the answer was never clear.
She often suspected that Bas just wanted to keep her on a leash, never letting her stray too far, always making sure she could never truly get over him.
“You have no idea what you do to me.” “One day you’ll stop running.” “You already want it. You just won’t admit it yet.”
Lines like that he’d say to her over and over again. At parties, in class, in the hallway, or somewhere out on the school yard. Sometimes he’d whisper them in her ear, other times he’d throw them out like a challenge—seductive, playful, teasing. And sometimes so honest it hurt.
At times, she questioned whether he truly understood what he was asking of her.
He constantly desired exclusivity, yet never offered anything substantial in return.
And Bas knew she was still a virgin, had never done more than kiss, even though there had been chances.
Plenty of them.
But deep down, she had always been waiting. For him.
Sometimes he’d say things just low enough for her to hear. Never asking, never begging.
Not promises. Not pressure.
Just statements.
As if he knew it was only a matter of time.
There was always this underlying tension between them, this quiet expectation that lived in the space between every look, every touch.
And though he never crossed a line, never pushed—he made sure she felt it.