18. Chapter 13
Here We Are Again, Burning
Sebastian
B as sat on the edge of the pool table, a cigarette between his fingers, even though he didn’t smoke. He just needed something to do with his hands, something to focus on that wasn’t her.
The game had been a mistake. He had let himself get pulled back in too easily—her laughter, the way her eyes lit up when she landed a shot, the way her hand had lingered just a second too long against his. It felt like old times. It felt good.
Too good.
And that was the problem.
For a moment, it had been effortless. Too fucking natural. Like they hadn’t spent the last five weeks in silence, like he hadn’t worked so hard to push her out of his head.
But then he saw it—that flicker in her eyes. The tiny crack in the armor she had built up, the way she let herself lean into him again.
And that’s when it hit him. If I keep going, I won't stop.
If he let himself have her again, if he let himself get too close, there would be no pulling back this time. No pretending it didn’t mean something. No escaping the way she had already wrapped herself around every part of him.
So he did the only thing he knew how to do.
He had to destroy it.
Pushed her away before she could pull him under.
He stubbed out the cigarette against the table, jaw clenched so tightly it ached. The muffled voices from outside bled into the room, but he barely heard them. He was too busy convincing himself he was doing the right thing. That he was protecting her. That this was for the best.
The door creaked open behind him, and he already knew who it was before she spoke.
“Hey, Sebastian.”
Cat.
Of course.
She sauntered in like she owned the room, her lips curling into a smirk as she leaned against the table beside him. “Didn’t think you’d disappear so fast,” she teased, tracing a finger along the felt. “Tired of playing already?”
Bas exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair. “Something like that.”
She hummed, tilting her head. “You looked like you were having fun out there.”
Too much fun.
Bas didn’t answer.
Cat took a step closer. He felt the way her fingers skimmed the fabric of his shirt, the way she pressed against him, soft and warm. But she was not her.
“Let me guess,” Cat murmured. “Evin got under your skin again?”
He let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter.”
Cat smiled, slow and knowing.
And before he could think—before he could stop himself—she kissed him .
Hot. Messy. Desperate.
And he let her.
Because if he was already ruining things, he might as well burn the whole damn thing to the ground.
__________
Evin
T he sun had long set, and the colorful lanterns bathed the garden in warm, gentle light.
The music in the background muffled the chatter of the group gathered around the table.
Evin sat by the cooler, a half-full glass in her hand, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere.
Next to her stood Jonas, freshly dried off from his jump in the pool.
As he took a seat, Evin silently handed him his favorite beer, prompting a grateful smile.
“You remembered,” he murmured, taking a big sip.
For a moment, Evin felt the familiar warmth Jonas always carried with him. His laughter was genuine, and his company carried a soothing, almost familial comfort she deeply appreciated in her chaotic world. Jonas was one of the few people who never let her down.
As they sat silently next to each other, a soft breeze swept through the garden.
A few strands of Evin’s hair fell across her face, and without thinking, Jonas gently tucked them behind her ear.
Startled, she watched him as he casually continued chatting with the others, making the gesture seem so natural.
It was such a small act, yet in that moment, it hit her unexpectedly.
Her gaze drifted across the table, laden with drinks and snacks.
The conversations grew louder, and laughter filled the air.
Yet, Evin felt a pair of eye s on her. She knew exactly whose they were.
She glanced over and caught his gaze again.
When their eyes met, he gave her a casual nod.
She nodded back slower, more provocatively.
Of course, she wasn’t ungrateful for the situation, but deep down, she had hoped the evening would turn out differently.
Perhaps she had secretly expected that they might finally reconnect, share unburdened laughter, and talk like they used to.
Instead, after their beer pong game, he had spent the rest of the evening giving Cat his attention.
Typical, Evin thought bitterly as she forced herself to sip her drink.
“Hey, you’re daydreaming again,” Jonas teased, snapping her out of her thoughts. She forced a smile. “I’m fine,” she muttered, trying to organize her swirling thoughts while the laughter and loud chatter around her pulled her back to the present.
Why did Bas have to make everything so complicated?
Old memories resurfaced, and she realized once more how much she missed him and his attention.
His presence overwhelmed her, making her feel as though she couldn’t breathe at times.
Bas was playing his games again. First, he’d been all over Cat.
Now, just hours later, he looked bored. Inwardly, Evin rolled her eyes.
Laughter and loud voices snapped Evin out of her thoughts.
Across the table, there seemed to be a heated discussion.
“So? What do you want then?” Jonas called out, grinning.
“Definitely not someone who’s a headache,“ came the reply. Of course, it was Bas.
Who else would say something like that? Somebody pushed further.
“Oh yeah? And what does that mean?” Suddenly, the group went quiet. Everyone was waiting for his answer.
“To have fun. That’s it. I’m not really thinking about anything else right now.” Evin could immediately tell what this was about. She felt her whole body tense up, a jolt of energy running through her.
“I’m not planning on getting married in the next five years. Just live your life, people! No way am I settling down anytime soon. I don’t even see myself in a relationship right now.” A collective “Oooooh ” rippled through the group.
“Evin!” someone laughed loudly.
As every eye turned to her, Evin couldn’t decide what hurt more—being called out in front of everyone, hearing those words from him, or the fact that he didn’t even glance in her direction.
She was caught off guard. There was no way to come out on top in a conversation you hadn’t even been part of.
For a split second, she wanted to get up and leave.
Maybe that’s exactly what she should do.
Stand up and walk out. No. She couldn’t give them that satisfaction.
Her only choice was to stand her ground.
Why wasn’t anyone asking Cat for her opinion?
“With commitment issues like that, yeah, sounds like the best approach,” she shot back, her voice steady. Another wave of “Ooooh's” rippled through the group, followed by glances at Bas.
He got to his feet casually and fired back, “Yeah, yeah, you go ahead and get married at 19. Be a housewife.”
Then he disappeared into the house. Some people laughed at his retort, while others noticed the tension had fizzled out and returned to their own conversations. Evin, however, stayed rooted in her seat, burdened by a storm of confusing emotions.
“I mean, I think Bas’s completely right. Fun should come first,” Cat chimed in with a giggle, loud enough for the boys around her to hear.
Too bad Bas wasn’t there anymore to catch it. Evin’s tension turned into a fiery anger. She was burning inside. She wasn’t about to let that slide. Her chair scraped loudly as she pushed it back, standing abruptly.
“I think he’ll be back in a minute,” Jonas whispered to her. “I’m not waiting,” Evin replied firmly.
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dim light inside the house as she followed the faint glow coming from the kitchen. The bathroom door was open, so that wasn’t where he had gone. The kitchen was her only option. When she got there, she saw him.
Bas stood with both hands braced against the counter, his head bowed, his back to her.
Evin stopped in her tracks and watched him. He must have heard her, becaus e he straightened up, lifted his head, and glanced over his shoulder.
“Were you planning to cook something for me?” he asked, a dirty smirk tugging at his lips.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” she snapped.
“Not really,” he replied dryly. As Evin let her emotions spill out, Bas stayed completely unfazed.
“Is that all you see in me? Some poor girl waiting for her prince to come so she can become a housewife?”
Then Bas turned to face her at an unhurried pace, leaning back against the counter, arms crossed.. “Isn’t that what you want?” he said.
“No!” Evin’s voice rose.
"You sure act like it," he said, his disapproval slicing through her like a blade.
“What the hell are you talking about? Just because I’m not some cheap slut letting you screw me?” she fired back.
That was what this was about, wasn’t it? Wasn’t that all any of them wanted from her?
Bas grinned, letting out a laugh—the kind that made her feel small. Powerless. Every word, every reaction from him burned in her throat.
“What do you even want from life? Seriously. Isn’t it just to have some guy propose to you? You want a boyfriend, get married in two or three years, and have kids right after. Am I wrong?”
Where was this conversation even going? Evin hadn’t expected this. Was this something they should’ve talked about long ago? But how could she have this kind of conversation with someone who didn’t even officially give her a place in his life?
“Desperate? Wow…” she said, collecting her thoughts. “No. You’re wrong.” His eyebrows rose in anticipation.
“Of course, I want to get married someday, but not in two years.” Evin swallowed hard.