37. Chapter 32 #2
But she knew he noticed. Bas always noticed.
The thought made her scalp prickle.
"And that would be…?" she asked, her voice deliberately indifferent.
Bas leaned in, his face just close enough so she could hear him over the noise around them.
"Someone who’s running," he said. "Someone who is hiding."
The words hit harder than she expected.
She bit her lip, trying to push back the wave of emotions rising inside her.
"I have no idea who or what you’re talking about," she deflected.
Bas didn’t move, didn’t look away.
"I think you know exactly what I mean."
For a moment, it was as if time around them froze.
The pounding music, the blur of people—all of it faded into the background as Bas looked at her like he could see through every layer of walls she had so carefully built.
She had no idea what to say.
The alcohol made her tongue feel heavy, and at the same time, she just wanted to get away. Away from the questions that forced her to face the one thing she had been running from.
Then—suddenly, Bas grabbed her hand.
Before she could react, he was pulling her through the club, past the dance floor where Milka was still laughing and dancing, through the crowded hallways, until they finally stepped outside into the cold night air.
The fresh air hit her like a slap, making the alcohol in her head swirl even harder.
She barely felt the cold, even though she knew it should have been freezing.
Bas didn’t let go until they stood under a patio heater, its warmth barely cutting through the sharp chill in the air.
For a moment, there was only silence. Their breaths visible in the cold.
"So?" Evin raised an eyebrow, meeting his gaze with a challenge. She ignored the heater beside her, the warmth it tried to offer. "What do you want, Bas? After all this time?"
Her voice was sharper than she intended. But she held her mask in place.
Bas ran a hand through his hair, nervous yet determined.
"I was an idiot, okay?" His voice was quiet but steady as he finally spoke the words.
"I ignored you, pushed you away, because I…" He stopped, and Evin saw him searching for the right words. "Because I didn’t know how to deal with it. With us. I think I’ve had feelings for you for longer than I want to admit. I just didn’t see it. "
Evin let out a dry laugh, the sound fading into the cold night air.
"Yo u're realizing this now?" She glared at him, her eyes burning despite the freezing air. And yet, all she could think about was the night she couldn’t undo—the one Bas would never understand.
"And where were you when I needed you?" The words came out sharper than she intended. "You were just gone, Bas. Ignoring me… playing games with Cat."
He swallowed hard, his jaw tightening.
"I know." His voice was raw. "And I’m sorry, okay? You have no idea what it was like for me, watching you…"
He shook his head, breaking off.
"Watching you change, and not knowing what the hell I was supposed to do."
Evin scoffed.
She had expected anger to boil inside her, but instead, all she felt was the weight of disappointment.
"If you had said something… before I…" She trailed off, her thoughts drifting to Sergej. But she wouldn’t say that name. Not today.
"You left me hanging," she finally said, her voice quieter now.
"I was a coward." Bas took a step closer, his voice softer, but his words hit like a punch. "I let you go because I was scared of losing you. And ironically… that's exactly why I lost you."
Evin hesitated, her gaze drifting to his hand—so close to hers.
She could have hurt him right now. Crushed him with words.
But instead, she let him sweat. Let him suffer.
Her heart pounded faster, and though the anger was still there, another feeling lingered beneath it—one she couldn’t shake, no matter how hard she tried.
She had missed him. It was ridiculous how much she had needed him.
"You’re lucky," she whispered finally, forcing a smile onto her lips. "I’m too drunk to be really mad at you."
She pushed him aside gently, but the smirk playing on her lips was both mocking and sweet.
"But you’re far from off the hook."
Bas stared at her, his eyes locking onto hers like he was trying to read her mind.
he could feel it—the unspoken question between them, hanging in the air.
But she didn’t want to go there.
Not tonight.
Then—he stepped closer.
So close, only inches separated them.
"I never was," he murmured.
His hand, which had been hanging in the air between them, finally found its way to her arm—and he pulled her in.
"I fucked up. I know that. Just give me one shot to prove I mean it."
Evin felt the heat of his body, and despite herself, her body reacted instinctively.
"I won't mess this up again." He added.
Her heart raced wildly, and for a moment, the noise of the party, the cold of the night—everything disappeared.
There was only him.
She paused.
She was done being rational. Her mind screamed no—but he was the only thing that quieted the noise.
Closed her eyes for a brief second—then opened them again.
"Take me home."
The words were soft, almost a whisper—but they meant more than she let on.
Bas blinked, surprised.
But before he could respond, she quickly added: "I just want to get out of here."
It wasn’t a request. It was a fact.
He was chaos. Chaos she knew. Chaos she could predict. And maybe that’s exactly what she needed.
Bas hesitated for only a second.
Then he nodded—short, sharp, like an order had just been given.
And just as she thought he would finally let her lead—He didn’t.
"But I’m not taking you home."
Evin raised an eyebrow, ready to argue—but something in his voice, in his eyes, stopped her.
_________
Sebastian
T he moment Bas took her hand, he knew she would follow him.
The night was cold, cooler than expected, the air biting against his skin, but he didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was that Evin was here with him, and the pressure of her hand in his gave him a sense of certainty he rarely ever felt.
He pulled her along, determined. But when he felt her slow down, he stopped.
"Where are you taking me?" Evin’s voice held a trace of irritation.
Bas turned to her, his eyes searching hers. A boyish smile flickered across his lips. The answer wasn’t entirely clear to him either, but he knew he had to explain it somehow.
"It’s a place you know. Just trust me," he finally said, hoping that would be enough.
She hesitated, her forehead creasing slightly. But then—she didn’t say anything else.
Maybe it was the alcohol making her resistance weaker, or maybe it was something else—the quiet desire not to ruin the moment.
Bas wasn’t sure.
But she followed him in silence.
And somehow, that thought alone gave him peace.
__________
Mo ments later, they were in his car, rolling through the empty streets. Just a few minutes passed before they pulled up in front of the ballet school, and Bas saw recognition flash in her eyes.
Her gaze widened, and he knew exactly what she was about to ask.
"How... did you know where I train?" Her voice was cautious, almost wary.
Bas didn’t answer right away.
The warm air flowed softly from the vents, wrapping around them like a fragile shield.
He knew she wouldn’t leave—not yet.
Just like always, she stayed.
He kept his eyes on the windshield, watching the faint fog dissolve—but his thoughts were entirely on her.
Bas couldn’t stay silent anymore.
"I... came here a lot," he admitted, voice quiet, almost like a confession. "Watched you."
Evin froze.
For a second, she didn’t seem to know how to react.
"What?" Her voice held something—understanding, maybe. But also disbelief.
Bas let his fingers graze over her arm—just a fleeting touch, a hint of the closeness he had craved for so long.
"It calmed me down. Watching you dance," he said. "It was the only thing that kept me from losing my mind."
Evin didn’t move, but he saw it—the way his words hit her.
A flush spread across her cheeks, and Bas wondered if it was the alcohol or something else entirely.
"You stalked me?" Her words were meant to be sharp—but instead, they came out teasing.
Bas shrugged, lips curving into a mischievous grin.
"St alking might be the wrong word," he mused. "But yeah. I was there."
He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes dropping for a second.
Saying it out loud brought an odd sense of relief—like he’d stopped pretending.
"Watching you dance… it helped clear my head. It was the only thing stopping me from going completely insane."
His truth lay openly between them now, and for a fleeting moment, he wondered if he had said too much.
But the relief he felt—the weight that lifted off his chest—was stronger than the fear of her misunderstanding him.
Evin took a slow breath, like she wanted to be mad at him.
But he saw it in her eyes—that pull.
The one she tried so hard to hide.
There was a flicker of something darker.
Not shock. Not judgment.
Something closer to curiosity.
Maybe even approval.
She tried to hide it, of course. But it was there.
That tiny spark that told him she didn’t hate that he watched her.
"Why now?" she whispered.
Bas stepped closer—so close, the space between them barely existed.
"Because I don’t want you to think I didn’t want you," he said. "Even when I ignored you… you were always there."
His words hung heavy in the air.
And he saw it—the way she struggled to process it.
Her eyes flickered to his lips—but she held herself back.
"I don’t think there’s a way back," she murmured, voice barely above a whisper. "It’s too much. Too much has happened."
The words hit harder than he had expected.
He knew he had hurt her. But hearing her say it—made it real.
"I know," he said softly. "And I’m sorry. But this time, I want to do it right."
He took a breath, held it—like the rest of his words were trapped in his chest.
"I want to show you that I mean it."
Evin searched his eyes, looking for the uncertainty she was used to seeing in him.
But this time—there was none.
"Let’s not talk about it anymore."
His voice was steady. Determined.
And she felt it. He could see it.
Slowly, she let her hand slip into his.
A silent sign. A chance.
"So…" she said, her voice quiet but soft. "What do we do now?"
A small smile played on his lips.
"Let’s dance," he said, never taking his eyes off her.
__________
Bas still sat in the car, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, as he watched Evin step out.
She pulled her coat around her shoulders, but it did nothing to hide what was underneath.
The dress was short. Tight. And the glow of the streetlights made her skin gleam like amber.
Bas couldn’t look away.
She was fire—a fire he couldn’t put out.
The black metallic dress, clinging to her body like a second skin, accentuated every line, every curve he already knew by heart—but seeing her like this, in this moment, was driving him insane.
The way the fabric gleamed against her taut, bronzed skin sent his pulse into overdrive.
Her legs, wrapped in those high black boots, looked endless, and his thoughts were consumed by a single desire—
To pull her into his lap. To touch her. To feel her.
God , she looks so fucking hot.
That dress— that goddamn dress —felt like it was made for one reason only.
To drive him to the brink of insanity.
He imagined how it would feel to slip his hands under the fabric, to feel her skin beneath his fingertips.
She is my downfall.
Bas bit his lip, watching every move she made—the way she pulled her coat tighter around herself, even though he knew damn well she could feel his eyes on her.
He had noticed it immediately—she was thinner now. More delicate.
But it didn’t matter.
The dress fit her perfectly, hugging her body in a way that made his thoughts spiral into places they shouldn’t go.
He didn’t know why—but she looked hotter than ever.
His mind raced with thoughts that were anything but innocent.
That forbidden thought that haunted him over and over again.
He wanted to feel her.
Wanted her to burn for him just as much as he burned for her.
But he had to keep himself in check.
Evin was different.
She wasn’t just some girl he could have fun with.
Not because she didn’t want him—but because he knew she had the power to completely unravel him.
To wreck him in every possible way.
“Are you coming or what?!” she called out to him.
With a deep breath, a quick adjustment in his jeans, and a push of the door handle, he stepped out and walked toward her.
“I was starting to think you wanted to learn how to do pirouettes,” Evin teased.
Bas’s stomach tightened.
Fuck.
_________ _
Evin
A dele’s voice drifted across the empty parking lot as Evin clung to Bas.
The pain in her chest was crushing—not because of him, but because of the shame that never left her.
She felt it—the memories of Sergej creeping back in, burned into her skin like scars.
She wanted to forget.
But the weight of her failure pressed her down.
Bas’s hands pulled her closer, his warmth both comforting and unbearable.
He didn’t know.
He knew nothing.
Nothing about what had happened.
She closed her eyes, hoping the darkness would cover her guilt.
But deep down, she knew—she shouldn’t be here.
She wasn’t the same anymore.
How could he ever look at me the way he used to?
The thought struck her as he gently pulled her in.
The moment felt wrong, even though she wished it was right.
Her fingers dug into his broad shoulders as the last notes of the song faded.
She lifted her gaze, meeting his eyes.
He looked at her as if everything was fine.
As if she was still the same Evin.
And yet—in this moment, wrapped in his arms, she felt more right than ever before.
She was exactly where she had always wanted to be.
Above them, the first New Year's fireworks exploded across the sky—as if signaling the end of a chapter.
For just a second, she wished her thoughts could disappear like those sparks in the sky.
Fading into nothing.