53. Chapter 48 #2
He spun on his heel, his steps deliberate, his resolve unshaken as he wrenched the door open. His father’s voice followed him, low and deliberate. “Think about it, Sebastian. You have until tomorrow.”
“Thanks. For absolutely nothing.” The door slammed shut behind him, and Bas exhaled sharply. His heart pounded, his mind raced. But one thing was certain—no matter what his father tried, he was never letting Evin go.
__________
Evi n
T he softness of the blanket and the scent of orange blossoms grounded her before she even opened her eyes.
The first rays of sunlight filtered through the tall windows, and for a moment, she didn’t know where she was.
Then, her gaze landed on a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice on the table, along with a note beside it:
"I'm in the garden. Come out if you want. Or sleep in."
She traced the rim of the glass with her fingertips, the cold surface grounding her. The scent of orange blossoms drifted through the open window—a quiet whisper of familiarity. Jonas’s garden.
It felt strange to be here again after all these years.
The memories were hazy but still alive, like echoes of a time when she, Jonas, Hannah, and Shawn had been inseparable.
Summers filled with adventures that only made sense to them—sneaking into the marina, daring each other to climb rooftops, making up stories that felt like the greatest truths of their childhood.
Shawn had been part of it, too, until his family was stationed somewhere else. Military life. One day he was there, the next he wasn’t. That was just how it worked.
After that, it had just been the three of them. And in those years—when she and Bas still hadn’t figured out what they were to each other—she had grown closer to Jonas.
He had always been the one who went along with everything, never questioning, never judging. Whether it was breaking into an abandoned boat at the harbor or walking through Montecito like they owned it, Jonas had been right there, laughing beside her.
And then there had been moments with him that had felt… different.
Not many, but enough to make her wonder. Little things—his gaze lingering just a second too long, his hand brushing against hers and neither of them pulling away. Had she imagined it? Or had he wanted more?
She had never truly asked herself what if?
Or maybe she had. A long time ago.
Evin pushed the thought away and stood up. She reached for the glass and took a sip. Then, quietly, she opened the door and stepped into the garden.
The air was fresh but not cold, carrying the light scent of orange blossoms—something she recognized from Jonas’s garden. She picked up the glass of cold, freshly squeezed juice, the coolness of it grounding her as it pressed against her trembling fingers.
"Morning," Jonas called, already sitting by the edge of the pool, his feet dangling in the water. His hair was tousled, his posture loose—like someone who was fully present in this moment, undistracted by anything else.
"Morning," she murmured back but didn’t move toward him. Instead, she remained standing, her eyes drifting toward the palm trees, their shadows stretching across the terrace.
"Freshly squeezed juice," he remarked with a faint grin. "You’re still the same."
She merely shrugged, eventually lowering herself into one of the chairs, her gaze sweeping across the garden once more. The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was heavy. Jonas gave her space, but Evin knew he was waiting.
"You’re up way too early for someone who barely slept last night," he finally noted, his tone casual but observant.
"Sometimes sleeping doesn’t help," she answered shortly, taking a sip of juice. The coolness of the glass in her hand wasn’t enough to quiet the heat simmering in her chest. She wanted to look at Jonas, but her eyes remained locked on the edge of the pool.
"Besides, you didn’t sleep much more than I did. "
Jonas raised an eyebrow, studying her briefly before turning back to the water. "True. Sometimes it only makes things louder." His tone was calm, almost offhanded, but Evin picked up on the subtext. He knew more than he was letting on.
She only nodded, absentmindedly twirling the glass in her hand. The juice tasted fresh, but she had no appetite. Her thoughts were too tangled to focus on something as simple as breakfast.
"Evin," Jonas said, his voice suddenly quieter. "You know I’m not here to push you, right? But... I can see you’re carrying more than you should be."
Her fingers tightened around the glass, and she kept her gaze fixed downward. "I don’t know what you’re talking about," she muttered, though her voice wavered.
"Of course you do," he replied evenly. His stare was steady, but not demanding. "I just need you to know that I’m here for you. And that none of this is your fault."
There it was—that sharp, piercing ache. And she knew exactly where it came from.
It wasn’t just the weight of his words. It was the disappointment that she wasn’t hearing them from Bas.
It was the pain of realizing she was running again, seeking shelter in someone else’s presence instead of facing what she should.
Jonas’s words hit her hard, and she bit her lip. "You don’t understand," she mumbled. "This... this is too complicated. Too much."
Jonas leaned back, his gaze drifting toward the sky before he responded.
"Life is messy. Sometimes it’s just shattered pieces everywhere.
And sometimes, you don’t have to pick them all up alone—you just need someone to help pull out the biggest shards.
" He exhaled slowly. "You don’t have to tell anyone everything. But maybe it’s enough to let someone in. "
She knew he was right. But the fear of what lay beyond that vulnerability was overwhelming.
And now she understood—this was why she kept pushing Bas away. The chance of truly letting herself go with him was too high. It wasn’t just the fear of him seeing her broken. It was the fear of her seeing herself that way.
Evin le t out a bitter laugh, a sound that was almost a sob. "And then what? Someone tells me it’ll get better? That I’m strong? I’ve heard all of it before, Jonas. I already know all of it. And yet, nothing changes."
Jonas was quiet for a moment, his expression serious but soft. "Maybe. Or maybe nothing changes when you keep it all inside and try to get through hell on your own."
She looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, she felt caught.
His words weren’t harsh, but they cut deep.
She wanted to argue, wanted to tell him she could handle it alone, that she didn’t need anyone.
But she couldn’t. Not when he looked at her like that—with a mix of patience and understanding that made it almost impossible to breathe.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked finally, her voice quiet but strained. "Why are you so... different?"
Jonas smirked faintly, pulling his legs out of the water before sitting fully across from her. "Because I know what it’s like to feel alone. Even when you’re surrounded by people. And because you’re someone worth showing up for."
Evin stared at him, her eyes burning with unshed tears, but she blinked them away. "I don’t know if I can do this."
Jonas leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
"That’s okay. You don’t have to decide anything right now. But I need you to know that I’m here. Whether you want to talk, be quiet, or just sit here drinking orange juice."
A small, almost imperceptible smile played at her lips, and she nodded. "Thanks."
This time, the silence between them felt lighter, as if a fraction of the weight she carried had been lifted just by his presence. Evin glanced at the empty glass in her hand, then back at Jonas, and deep inside, a small, almost imperceptible spark of hope took shape.
__________
Evin stayed in the garden for a while, the empty glass resting in her hands as the morning sun draped over her skin like a veil.
The wind played softly through the palm leaves, making the light shimmer across the pool water, while somewhere in the distance, the steady hum of a sprinkler filled the air.
Everything felt so calm, so put together—a cruel contrast to the chaos inside her.
Jonas had given her space, stepping back when she needed it, but the silence felt deceptive. Every breath was too loud, every heartbeat too heavy. It was as if the world had given her a brief reprieve, while she still couldn’t escape herself.
Her thoughts drifted, unbidden, to Bas. She had seen his face—the mix of anger, guilt, and worry she couldn’t bear.
Why was it so much harder to face him than Sergej?
Sergej was the enemy. The monster she had to guard herself against.
But Bas... Bas was the one who should have saved her. And she had pushed him away.
"I know what it’s like when people expect a certain version of you," Jonas had said. "But you can’t spend your whole life trying to make everyone happy."
Evin exhaled shakily, tightening her grip around the empty glass. Tomorrow was school. The thought settled over her like a stone.
How was she supposed to face Bas? How was she supposed to face herself, knowing that every conversation with him would push her to the edge of something she couldn’t hide from anymore?
She had spent days, weeks, convincing herself that she wasn’t the problem. But she knew the truth.
Not for the powerlessness. Not for the fear.
But for the distance she had built.
For keeping him at arm’s length when all she really wanted was to collapse into his arms.
The garden was still, peaceful. She took one last breath, placed the empty glass down, and stood up.
She couldn’t run forever.
Not from Sergej .
Not from Bas.
And not from herself.
__________
The cool morning air prickled against Evin’s skin as she stood in front of the school. The familiar building felt foreign today, and she could feel her stomach tightening. So much had changed since last year.