Chapter 30 #2
I press myself flush against the wall separating me and Zrael, hoping and praying it's him.
I hear a small familiar broken groan and some laboured breaths.
“Zrael?” I hoped he was okay, that whatever they did wasn’t too bad. But who was I kidding? They didn’t exactly hold back here.
A sharp pain splits my chest, with a feeling of being completely helpless and useless consuming me.
I call his name louder, but there's only more low laboured breaths.
My panic begins to resurface, my voice sounding more desperate and frantic.
“Zrael? Are you okay? Please…” I hear slight movement. It's slow and light but gets closer until I can hear him against the other-side of the wall.
His breathing sounds weak…and pained.
I rub my chest and the helpless feeling cutting me there. I wish I could help him…What had they even done to him? Was it like what they put me through? A shudder runs down my body with the thought.
“I wish I could help you, or do something for you…” I shake my head, stopping before my voice cracks and shows him how weak I really am.
“Pl…ease…” His voice is so low I have to hold my breath as I place my ear against the wall to hear him.
“What can I do?” I call, placing my hands against the cold cement and wishing with all my might that it wasn’t there so I could go to him. So that I could help him the way his songs had helped me through my pain.
“...ing..” His voice was so low, I struggled to make it out. It was almost like it could fade or disappear at any moment.
“What?” I ask, praying I could hear him more clearly.
“S..ing.”
Sing? He wanted to sing? With the way he was right now?
And then I realised what he meant. He wanted me to sing. For him.
But my voice wasn’t like his, and I hadn’t had the best experience singing for others. Nobody even liked my voice.
“P..lea..se.” A pained groan follows his broken words, his voice cracking more as his breathing becomes more strained. It pulls me from my insecure thoughts.
Even if I sounded horrible, if that's what he needed and wanted right now, then I could do it.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath before beginning. The first few words are a little shaky and low as I sing my favourite song, Giants by Dermot Kennedy, but gradually I grow in volume as I continue.
I can feel myself slightly swaying as I sing, pouring all the emotions I feel into every word as I grow louder; not even recognizing the strong and powerful voice echoing around the room as I reach the final line.
I’m panting slightly as silence stretches between the two rooms with not even his laboured breathing heard.
I place a shaky hand back against the wall. “Zrael? Zrae–”
“Beau…tiful. So beau...t…iful…Mate.” His voice is still broken and coarse, but sounds less pained with his breathing more steady.
Wait. Did he call me ‘Mate’?
He couldn’t mean that kind of mate, right?
I mean, we hadn’t even seen each other so how would he even know?
I had heard that with different supernaturals they had different ways of knowing if they were fated mates. Some involved scent or blood, but even then it was so rare.
Had he meant as a friend or companion?
“Mate?” I call, “Do you mean like fri–”
“Fat..ed.” He cuts me off, his voice slighter deeper, a more steady and sure tone with each syllable. “Your voi…ce. I ca…n te…ll. You..r my m…ate, Micai.”
He says my name with such warmth and tender affection, and a clear surety in his tone that leaves no room for compromise, even with his broken voice.
No words leave my lips as my mind tries to process his words. I try to think back to all the times we’ve talked, and the strange and warm feeling that would well up inside me with just hearing his voice. Could it really be possible?
…A mate.
A fated mate.
A bond stronger than any other in this world.
I turn back toward his voice, a small smile stretching my lips before my shoulders quickly fall again; the elation leaving me as I stare at the grey cement bricks in front of me. And a weight of sadness blankets me.
Even though my soul wants to sing with joy at finding its other piece, I’m overtaken by the reality of our situation.
I have a mate; a piece of my soul probably just inches from where I sit…but we’re stuck here. Trapped in this never-ending nightmare.
I can hear his voice and listen to him sing…but will I ever see him or be able to touch him?
My face falls into my hands as a sob begs to break free from my chest, but I try to hold it in. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t cry.
He would hear me, and I couldn't do that to him. He needed me now. And I had to be strong. Whatever I felt, I’m sure he did too.
We suffered enough in here. At the very least, when we’re together, we could be each other's strength and comfort.
I lean the back of my head against the wall as silent tears stream down my cheeks.
A small hum begins to play from Zraels cell, the tune flowing into my ears as I listen with a sad smile tilting my lips.
My mate and I. What did we ever do to deserve this?
* * *
Zrael slowly explained over the following days how he had known I was his mate. That from the first time I had sang along with him he had known.
He had told me he was a Siren; one of the very few of his kind left and that through singing they were able to find their mates.
Over time, he told me how he had been taken here during a fight trying to protect a friend of his. He told me he was here around a year before I arrived and that his voice hadn’t always been so broken and hoarse and that it was once like velvet. He made a small broken chuckling sound at this.
He said the only time his voice sounded ‘normal’ was when he sang because it was a Sirens voice, and that their songs were laced with pure magic.
When I asked why I hadn't been tranced he chuckled, telling me not all of his songs had to use powerful magic, and that it was also different with a mate.
When I had asked how his voice had become the way it was when he talked normally, he said it was what they did to him. They tried to exploit his ability and power, and it left him like this. He fell quiet after saying it, a heavy atmosphere falling over us both as I remembered my own sessions.
For almost five years we sang to each other and talked about a place of our own together far away from here. A dream away from all the pain and hell we lived each day in the Facility.
He pulled me through my darkest days. It was with only his voice, his songs and his support that I lasted as long as I did here. He built up a strength in me I never knew I could have and showed me a love so pure and unconditional, I knew that anything I felt before wasn't real love.
The bond we had was stronger than anything I had ever felt…or ever will again.
That day…the day they took him from me…will be a memory and pain that will forever be etched into my soul.
The only sounds that day were my screams, my sobs, and my pleading with him not to leave me. They took a part of me away that will never be whole again without him.
My beautiful soul and lost siren. My Zrael.
I’m pulled from my memory and thoughts as an ache splits my chest, tears trickling down my cheeks as his voice calls my name.
How I managed to exist without him for almost a whole year after that, I don't know.
All I recall was my raw screams, trying to take out as many guards as I could when they came to me, and a lot of bloody fights.
Each day I woke up cursing my existence, cursing the Facility and why death would keep alluding me. I wanted to join him and leave this hell. I didn’t want to breathe another day in a world where he longer existed.
But each time I came close, I would hear his broken voice in my head telling me to fight. And to live for him and the dream we had together.
I try to take a deep breath and pull myself back to the present, rubbing my palm against my chest and the pain promising to split me in half.
I had another chance.
In this life I could do more than just get my revenge. I could find Zrael.
I don't know how or where to look, but I had time.
I would find him. And when I do, I’ll never let him be taken from me again.
I take another breath, this one more steady as I slowly calm myself.
I remember one of his favourite songs; the sweet melody forming into a hum before falling from my lips, words soon following.
I hear his voice singing in my ears, joining me as I close my eyes in the dark room, surrounded only by his memory and my echoing voice.