Chapter 1
Chapter One
Thea
The damned quill wouldn’t move.
“Ugh!” I groaned out in frustration, the sound soon followed by a splintering crash as I threw my glass across the room. Sharpened fragments fell, splattering into the now-puddling tea I had refused to drink.
They kept bringing me tea.
As if tea would make any of this better.
As if tea would make that cursed quill move.
Already, I had been staring at it for hours. Maybe longer. Honestly, it felt like I had spent days in this position, huddled over my desk, willing that quill to move with everything I had in me.
I had begged and pleaded.
I had felt every emotion possible in an attempt to trigger some minor spark of power.
First, I had thought of the Dragon slamming down on my back with that horse crop and the way his body had looked when Hyrax had flayed him.
Then, I thought about Iris. I had thought about how much I missed her. Then, I’d remembered that look on her face when she saw I had freed Camilla from the prison cells.
Then I thought of him.
Golden hair. Golden eyes. Golden scales.
Clayton Vail.
My everything.
Still, the quill didn’t move.
My magic was as gone from me as he was.
A creak sounded behind me as weight shifted onto the floorboards of my bedchamber. I whirled, grabbing onto the blade I had placed atop my desk and holding it steadily in front of me, baring my teeth at whoever had tried to sneak up on me.
Dark boots. Dark clothes. Dark hair.
He scanned over the mess on the floor before lifting his brows and meeting my stare. “I’m fairly certain we have people who can take away your drinks when you’re finished with them.”
“Get out, Caldrius.”
I scratched at my wrists, still not accustomed to the feeling of the iron marriage bands there.
Most of the time, I could ignore them, but I always felt more aware of them when I looked at him.
On the night I swore myself to Caldrius as his wife, the bands had fused to me, one onto each of my wrists.
They were supposed to be a reminder of the lifelong commitment.
That constant reminder might have brought happiness to a woman in love.
They felt more like shackles to me.
I sensed his attention on my fingers, felt his eyes on their movement as I tugged unhappily at the bands, and he sighed, folding his hands behind him.
He was the picture of politeness—head held tall, dark hair trimmed neatly, beard cleanly shaven.
A pleasant smile danced on his face as he rocked on his heels.
“Have you eaten today?”
I ignored him, and he made a humming sound as if my silence were answer enough.
“Well, I thought I’d see if you were interested in leaving our room today?”
Our room. I scoffed at the words.
It was my room.
This was the room the Council had locked me in when I had first arrived in this kingdom. The room where I had survived Camilla’s first attack on my life. The room where Clay had held me for the days that I fought off Hydraxan poison.
Caldrius kept calling it ours now.
It didn’t seem to matter that I had forced him to sleep on the firm couch in the parlor every night.
He’d protested at first, but lately he seemed content to leave me to my misery.
“No,” I barked over my shoulder, focusing my attention on the quill once more.
I needed it to move.
There were three soft thuds on the floor behind me as he came to glance over me. Again, that heavy sigh. “It will take time, Thea.”
There was something that sounded suspiciously like kindness in his voice. Either that or pity.
“You don’t know that.”
Silently, I shoved the quill into the desk drawer and pushed away from the table, needing space.
Every healer in the palace had examined me. There was no sign of injury, either external or internal. There was no identifiable cause for why I still couldn’t feel that tiny spark of power that used to exist inside of me. Still, it was all gone—stolen by Pasnia to unleash Hyrax into this realm.
There was some consolation in the fact that I hadn’t had to deal with him yet. That time would come eventually, though, and I needed my powers back when that happened. I needed magic coursing through me, strong and undeniable, when I faced the God who had created me.
“Hyrax is welcoming petitioners into the castle today. I believe he would appreciate having you at his side.”
“Would he now?”
Caldrius tucked his hands into the pockets of his slacks. The stance was casual, but there was tension in his shoulders—darkness clouding his eyes. “As would I.”
My gut twitched with the sudden urge to throw something again.
“You would appreciate me at your side or Isidore? Forgive me if it’s all a little confusing still.”
Her name tasted like ash. I hated to think of her and remember that the reflection I saw in the mirror every day was hers. Her face. Her hair.
Hyrax had created me in her image.
Like I was to be a gift to Caldrius.
Like I was nothing more than her replacement.
Caldrius’ jaw locked, and he moved to step forward, shaking his head in irritation when I took an equal, measured step back.
“When will you stop holding Isidore against me?” he demanded. “I married you, Thea.”
“You married my crown,” I spat at him. “And her memory.”
He dared to act as if the words wounded him.
There was a silence that hung between us, the presence so weighty it almost felt like a tangible thing existing in the space between where we stood.
I knew he felt it too. He was aware of this irreparable divide as I was.
His chest lifted and fell with the same angry intensity as my own.
After a few moments, I was the first to break.
I was the first to turn away and make my way towards the window.
I still hadn’t adjusted to how strange the lawn outside looked.
The land was the same, of course. The gardens were unchanged. Snow still covered the ground, as it had for weeks.
But the Athenian flags no longer waved.
How could everything be the same and yet entirely changed all simultaneously?
There was a gentle touch on my elbow that only firmed when I attempted to jerk away from where he now pulled me closer to him.
“I do care for you, Thea,” he breathed, dark eyes burning into mine. “Somewhere, maybe somewhere deep down underneath your pain, I think you know that. I even think you care for me too. You considered me a friend once, after all.”
I ripped my arm back.
Whatever friendship may have existed between us died when I’d found out that he’d guided Hyrax in creating me to look like Isidore and then hid that fact from me. He had broken all the trust I’d foolishly given him.
“I’m not asking for instant forgiveness,” Caldrius continued, still imploring me with the sincerity in his gaze. “But I would like to be considered your friend again at some point.”
“You’ve done nothing to earn my friendship.”
The windowsill pressed against my back, preventing me from taking any additional steps away from where he now loomed over me.
Days.
It had only been a matter of days since I’d had magic in me that could have sent him flying away with just a thought.
“Haven’t I?” He ran his free hand irritably through his hair.
“Did I not earn it by saving your merry band of rebels? And if not by that, then perhaps I earned it by tending to Hyrax in his grief so that you don’t have to.
It might even be worth mentioning that I’m the one ensuring the many guards and nobles stay away from you despite how desperate they all are to greet their new Crown Princess. ”
I froze, unable to move while those words echoed in my head. Foreign. Wrong. Clay was the Crown Prince. Clay was the heir.
But Clay’s kingdom didn’t exist anymore.
Hyrax ruled now.
And I was his heir.
Caldrius’ expression softened as he took in the pain on my face. After a long moment, he backed away a few steps, giving me the freedom to brace myself against the wall for support. Days ago, I had battled a Goddess without fear. Now I couldn’t even support my own weight.
“All I’m trying to say is that I’m not your enemy, Thea. At least, I don’t want to be.”
I met his gaze, marveling at the genuineness in his eyes.
Truthfully, Caldrius hadn’t stepped out of line since Hyrax took over the castle. He had ensured that Clay and the others got safely out of the castle. So far, he had respected any boundaries I’d set. He made sure I received three meals daily, even if I didn’t always eat them.
Still, I couldn’t look at him without seeing all the betrayal and pain that had consumed me in the past few days.
“I don’t know who my enemies are anymore,” I confessed, almost more to myself than to him.
A sudden knock on the door sent my heart lurching. Instinctively, I reached for my power, attempting to pull it to my fingertips as I had done so many countless times before.
Nothing came to me.
“Perhaps this will help clarify things for you,” Caldrius murmured, nodding his head towards the continued knocking.
He walked to the door with heavy, purposeful steps, and I followed him, padding through the bedroom into the parlor towards the door.
And I gasped.
Because on the other side of that frame, hunched in front of one of Hyrax’s guards, was someone I knew could never be my enemy.
“Nessira!”
She broke away from the grasp of the guard just as I ran to her, and we collapsed into each other’s arms. Caldrius and the guards faded from existence as I squeezed her familiar fingertips into my own and pulled her to me.
“Oh, my Lady!” She clutched onto me in return, holding me so tightly she risked leaving bruises, but I didn’t care.
“Are you okay?” I cried, pulling back to scan over her.
There were slight shadows under her eyes, but nothing too abnormal—no cuts or bruises. There wasn’t even a splatter of dirt on her dress.Thank the Gods for that small mercy.
Nessira nodded tentatively, her eyes skirting over my shoulder towards Caldrius. “Our ship docked from Tenebris only a little while ago, and the guards took us into custody immediately.”
I glared at him over my shoulder, but Caldrius only shifted his weight and gave a dismissive shake of the head. “They escorted you directly to her Grace. They did not imprison you.”
Nessira’s eyes found mine. “Grace?”
I shook off her question, turning away from Caldrius and focusing back on my friend.
There would be time for explanations. There would be plenty of time to answer every question and provide every detail about all that had happened.
For now, I just needed to reassure myself that someone I cared about was here with me and safe. “Samsa, where is she?”
Caldrius cleared his throat. “She and Nessira were both given a choice of serving his holiness or continuing in your employment. Samsa chose to take a position as a cupbearer for Hyrax.”
Oh.
I tried not to bristle at the insult. She and I hadn’t known each other very long, I supposed. We didn’t form the bond that I’d built with Nessira. Still, it was irritating to know she’d chosen to serve a vicious God over me.
Caldrius walked around us, careful not to pull us out of each other’s arms, but I felt his gaze lingering on me as he stepped over the threshold.
“I’ll leave you two for now.” With a wave of his hand, he sent away the guard who had escorted Nessira to me.
“Perhaps your lady’s maid can assist you in dressing?
Even if you do not wish to join Hyrax for the petitioners, he has called for a dinner tonight, and he expects us both.
I’ve done what I can to convince him to give you space, but even my powers of persuasiveness have their limits. It appears your time is up.”
He closed the door behind him, and we both remained frozen as we listened to his retreating footsteps.
Then, Nessira’s hand closed tightly on mine, and she was on her feet, rushing to pull me into my bedroom, where she practically threw me onto my bed. Her eyes narrowed unhappily as she scanned over me.
I knew what she was seeing. Red-rimmed, swollen eyes. Tangled, unkempt blonde hair, darker than normal because it desperately needed to be washed. Collarbones that seemed more obvious than they did a fortnight ago.
“While I’m glad to see you, you don’t look well, my Lady. You’ve lost weight.”
I laughed through my tears, pulling up my skirts so I could fold my legs under myself on the bed before patting the spot next to me, encouraging her to sit. “I think you can call me Thea at this point.”
My entire world had turned upside down. We were far past the point of formalities now.
Nessira lifted her brows at the spot next to me.
“No,” she mused, crossing her arms over her chest “Apparently, I am to call you ‘her Grace.’ What exactly happened while I was on that boat?”
So much. So fucking much.
Far too much to try and explain in such little time.
I exhaled in a laugh. “Well, Hyrax is my father. Caldrius is exactly who you think he is. Pasnia escaped the Underworld, stole my powers to release Hyrax, and died. Clay and the others fled, and now Hyrax is king. Those are the main things you should know.”
She stared at me, mouth opening, then closing, then opening again.
“That is…” Nessira paused, lips pursing while she considered. As she ran her tongue over her teeth, she lifted her hands to smooth down her hair, which was tied neatly at the nape. “An unexpected change in circumstances.”
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I felt my lips pulling into a smile.
At least, Nessira being here with me meant I wasn’t alone in this. Not anymore.
“Well.” She breathed out a rush of air, resting her hands on her hips and looking speculatively around the room. “What can we do now?”
It was a good question—one I didn’t have a good answer for.
Not yet at least.
I did know one thing, though: I couldn't continue hiding in this room. Caldrius was right. My time was up. Hyrax had demanded my presence, and I wasn’t currently in a position to deny the wishes of a High God.
“Now, you’re going to help me pick a dress worthy of the daughter of death, and I’m going to go to dinner.”
“Dinner?” she asked with a raised brow.
I nodded, feeling the steadiness of resolve falling over me. “Dinner. I go to dinner, and I bide my time until I have enough power to kill Hyrax.”