Chapter 40
BILLIE
With my hand still in his, Emmett leads me down the driveway and then across the road to where his Aston is parked by the curb.
He opens the passenger door for me, and I climb in before he rounds the hood and slides into the driver’s seat. Neither of us says a word when he cranks the engine and pulls into the road.
For a few minutes, we drive in silence, me occasionally glancing over to observe Emmett’s bruised face.
Despite his injuries and current circumstances, I can’t help but appreciate how handsome he is.
Even when his mind is drowning in turmoil, there’s an air of composure to this man, which is unique, classy, self-assured yet humble in just the right balance.
He wasn’t driving away without me sitting next to him, and goddamn if that wasn’t the sexiest thing ever.
Pulling up along another curb a few streets away from my parents’ place, Emmett slides his chair back. He adjusts his glasses and massages the bridge of his nose, one of the only places Dad didn’t land a punch.
There’s so much to say, but absolutely nothing to say, all at the same time, and the longer we both remain silent, the harder it feels to be the one to speak first.
Emmett just told his closest friend that, if pressed, he’d choose his daughter above him.
I haven’t had many close friends in my life or at least friendships that have stood the test of time, but that doesn’t mean I can’t understand how deep that must have cut him, even if I’m the one he’s choosing.
Hands back on the steering wheel, Emmett turns to look at me, eyes full of apology, fingers twitching, like he’s desperate to pull me into his arms.
“You should’ve told me about the money and where it was coming from.” I finally find my voice. “I had a right to know about that.”
He nods, never taking his eyes off me. “Yeah, I should’ve. I guess I didn’t because you’d never have accepted it if you had known the truth. Just like Scott wouldn’t have either if he had known about everything going on between us.”
I want to argue back even though I know that he’s right. There’s no way I would’ve knowingly spent Emmett’s cash. I’d have lived in my childhood bedroom and found any type of job before I entertained the idea.
“And the longer things went on,” he adds, “the harder it got to tell you or Scott and Freya. If you’d have asked me outright how your dad was affording all this, then I wouldn’t have lied to you, but looking like the hero sweeping in to save you and Blake was not why I offered to help.
I did it because I’d always cared about you, even if romantic feelings were never involved until much later down the line. ”
White blossoms fall from the trees that line the road, swirling around Emmett’s car. With the way it cascades gently to the ground, you could easily mistake it for snow. Winter feels like the more appropriate season right now, a better reflection of our relationship.
Closing his eyes slowly, Emmett scrubs a hand across his jaw.
“You need an antiseptic wipe for the cut on your cheek. The packet I have in my purse would be really handy if it wasn’t sitting on top of my duvet.”
A small chuckle vibrates in his chest as Emmett’s hand creeps across the center section, his little finger brushing slowly against mine.
Delicious shimmers break out in response to his touch.
“I need to know that you don’t believe the crap Maria fed you and Scott.”
We haven’t had a chance to talk about what went down in Rise Up, partly because I haven’t answered his calls.
Lips rolling together, I edge my hand closer to his. “I know you well enough to be sure that you aren’t the type of person to use me because you’re lonely and you need to get over your cheating ex-wife.”
He looks pained and relieved.
“What exactly did she say to you at breakfast, Billie?”
My brain struggles to recall a conversation that took place only hours ago. Mainly because I want to forget that it ever happened. “I don’t want to talk about it because it doesn’t mean anything.”
He shakes his head, hand moving to rest on my cheek, and his thumb strokes small circles beneath my left eye. “Whenever someone tries to hurt my girl, every small detail matters to me. Protecting you and Blake is my number one priority.”
As I nuzzle into the warmth of his palm, Emmett leans across and sets a gentle kiss against my chin.
When he pulls back, our noses are touching, his eyes darting between mine.
“Maria insinuated what my dad warned a few minutes ago—that I’m a rebound and an easy target for an older guy who’s earned my trust over time.”
“You aren’t a rebound,” he breathes slowly. “You’re the real deal for me.”
When he goes to kiss my lips, I let him take it deeper, tongues gently massaging together.
Emmett releases a small whimper, fingertips dipping beneath my red sweater and skating across the waistband of my leggings.
“I’m in love with you, with Blake, with a future I know we can have together.”
“But what if having that future means that others can’t be a part of it?” My statement breaks our kiss, and Emmett studies me intently.
A few months ago, those words wouldn’t have entered my brain, never mind left my mouth. But today, I’m not the same person I was when I sat in the library with Clara and stressed over grades, which would prove to be insignificant when I ultimately dropped out of college.
Blake’s arrival has changed so much about me, and while I’m still Billie Quinn, the thought of my daughter living a life without her grandparents in it doesn’t feel like a happy future I can consciously choose.
It’s possible that my parents might come around to the idea of Emmett being my man, but I’m not being asked to make the same choice as him.
I’m not choosing the person I love over a close friend.
In this moment, I’d be choosing my romantic heart over family, and something about that notion doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
If Emmett were Blake’s daddy, then maybe this would be different.
All I know is that I vowed never to put myself above my daughter’s needs when it came to Tucker, and I can’t, in good conscience, do it now.
Just because the man sitting in front of me is everything I could ever want and more.
“What are you trying to say to me, Bill?”
The heartbreak in Emmett’s voice sends tears rolling down my cheeks.
Frantically, he kisses each one away, holding my face in his palms, like he so often does when he knows that I need the comfort of his embrace.
I wish that his callused palms were all I needed right now.
I wish that the path to our love were simple and not a replica of our hike in the Catskills.
I wish that Emmett Richards were the exact same man, but not associated with my family.
I wish that my dad could see what this was doing to us both.
I shake my head, a blizzard of conflicting thoughts and desires making it impossible to find the right response.
A low sob leaves Emmett’s chest. “Are you breaking up with me, Mama?”
Through blurry vision, I analyze the face of pure love. The kind every girl dreams about seeing when she looks at her man. One I mistakenly saw in Tucker’s.
“I’m not ending it, Em,” I whisper, and he kisses me softly, resting his forehead against mine.
“Then what do you need from me? Anything, everything, the whole fucking universe. Tell me, and it’s yours and Blake’s.”
I heave a shuddering breath. “Distance.”
A word we’ve repeatedly fought against resurfaces between us, and I hate that it does. I detest myself for saying it even if I know that it’s the only feasible way forward. Breaking up with Emmett is too painful to consider, but we both need time to let the dust of today settle into tomorrow.
He hates the idea as much as me—I can see it in the lines etched into his forehead.
“How much and for how long?”
That’s something I can’t fully quantify.
“I don’t know. A week maybe? I don’t know at this point.”
“Okay,” he replies, voice gravelly. “But here’s the deal. After a week, I get to take you out somewhere. You and Blake. We’ll have some fun, and if you want to talk more, then we can.”
I can’t help a cocky smile from forming. “Has anyone ever called you bossy?”
When he gives me a hopeful grin, it somehow feels like my world might not implode.
Not today anyway.
“Rarely. Maybe because I’ve never wanted to fight so hard for something I know is right.”
Breaking eye contact, I gaze through the windshield, blossoms now building on the hood of Emmett’s Aston.
“Dad wanted me to move out of my apartment, and I think I might need to. The chances of me finding a job before overdue bills start piling up are slim to zero.”
Emmett shakes his head in my peripheral vision. “No. I gifted that money, and I don’t want it back.”
“Dad said that he spent the last of it hiring an emergency moving company.”
Emmett’s jaw tics. “He told me the same thing, but I don’t believe him. How much did he transfer into your checking account?”
I fucking hate this conversation. “Pretty much all of it. But I don’t want to use what’s left of it to live on. I want to stand on my own.”
Emmett’s drawn-out exhale fills the car with his scent.
“I know that this means nothing to you, but I’ve got more money than I can spend.
Even if you accept it as a gift from a friend, I want you to take it and use it to fund the next however long you need with Blake before you find a job.
The money is yours, and I’m not willing to bend on that, Bill. ”
With one finger under my chin, he tilts my head to look at him. A playful expression I wasn’t expecting flushes Emmett’s prominent cheeks with color.
“And one day, when you’re a kick-ass lawyer and earning stacks of cash on the daily, you can take me out for steak and buy your retired hockey boyfriend a priceless bottle of Italian Pinot.”