Chapter 1 #2
Took forever to inch forward for a couple more blocks. Almost every window held a Christmas tree or a blue star, eaves and bushes dripping with lights. Chicago was like a giant Christmas cookie during the holidays.
Where was her holiday cheer this year? She should feel wildly excited about this couple’s shower, a concept she’d had to explain to her father over the phone.”
“You mean the men go to this baby party too? Sounds kind of sissyish to me.”
Amanda had laughed. “Have you ever met a Kirkpatrick man who was a sissy?”
That brought a muffled grumble. Her dad adored Connor’s father and brothers. Probably would have loved to have a self reliant and strong son. But Amanda was an only child.
That’s when it happened. While Amanda’s mind wandered, the car skidded sideways.
She turned the wheels into the slide, just like Connor had taught her.
Didn’t help. With a dull thunk that reverberated through her body, the Malibu smacked into a snow bank.
She counted to ten and then began to work.
Shifting from forward to reverse like a Nascar driver, she tried to rock the car from the bank, No luck and she wasn’t liking the smell of the engine by the time she gave up.
The street was ghostly silent. No one was coming to help.
Snow continued to shift from the sky like powdered sugar.
She’d have to walk. The Kirkpatrick house wasn’t that far.
Two other cars were abandoned along this street – not a good sign.
After turning off the heat and her lights, she grabbed her purse, got out and locked up the car.
No use trying to find the sidewalk. She took off and stayed in the street.
The air felt crisp and clear and the first few breaths stung her lungs. Walking in snow this deep was no picnic and she kept her ears perked for a car. Thank goodness she’d worn knee high boots. Christmas decorations blinked at her from trees and bushes.
Another Christmas. When had Christmas turned into a reminder of what they didn’t have?
Maybe it was all the ads for toys. Inserts in the Sunday newspaper and commercials on TV.
Just no escaping the excited smiles of children everywhere she turned.
After a while she could hardly stand to read the Sunday paper.
But this year was different.
Maybe this would be a better Christmas. Spectacular even, if Angie didn’t change her mind and decide to keep her baby. Their baby. Maybe.
Amanda tipped her face up and stuck out her tongue to catch the snow, smiling at the icy pinpricks.
Maybe she’d teach her little boy to do this.
How old would he have to be to stick his tongue out?
She had no clue. She knew zip about being a mother.
Connor was the one with the big family. She didn’t even have babysitting to fall back on.
Her parents had wanted her to do well in school and she really didn’t need the money like some of her friends.
A wind kicked up and the snow shifted into deeper drifts like a wily beast. For a second, she stood there, boots stuck.
Motherhood might be a stretch for her, even though she’d read every book she could get her hands on.
What to Expect When You’re Expecting helped her appreciate what Angie was experiencing.
Connor and Amanda met with her every two or three weeks.
She wanted the girl to know they appreciated her backaches and the cramps in her legs. Amanda had read all about them.
But heck, Angie was so young. She didn’t complain about a thing. Seemed like she was breezing through the months, a thin reed of a girl with a pronounced baby bump. Amanda was the one poring over self help books.
Connor seemed so confident. “Don’t worry. Parenting comes naturally. Just ask my mom.”
Was that his pride talking or did he really feel that way? For Amanda, none of this had come naturally. The years had brought disappointment and an increasing number of doctor appointments and bills. Through it all, Connor’s love kept her steady and secure.
But things had been different between them lately.
She was beginning to wonder.
Why had she left her hat in the car? The tips of her ears burned and she cupped her mittened hands over both ears. Of course motherhood came naturally for Maureen Kirkpatrick. She’d only been in her early twenties when she had Connor. Amanda was twenty-nine and felt like forty.
How far had she come? Four blocks? Turning around, she couldn’t see the car. A truck must have come down this street and she stepped into the deep groove left by the tires.
What were her parents doing right now in Florida? Probably sitting out by the pool in their condo complex. Still irritated her no end that they had not responded to the baby shower invitation. Any other grandparent would be thrilled but her folks apparently remained happily cocooned in Sarasota.
Maybe they were worn out by the whole baby thing.
Her father had helped them with the in-vitro fertilization expenses early on, no questions asked.
She felt guilty that his investment hadn’t paid off.
Growing up, she’d heard a lot about return on investment, or ROI.
Her dad checked his investment portfolio every day.
Now they were doing in vitro maturation, and her father was once again helping them out financially.
Connor hated it. He’d insisted on setting up a repayment plan with her father.
When the possibility of adoption had come out of left field, they’d grasped at it.
Loaded the bases, as Connor called it. They’d do the in vitro and proceed with adoption paperwork.
See what happened. Of course there was a charge.
They were going to take out a loan but when her mother caught wind of it, another check arrived.
Now she’d had no word from her parents about tomorrow and didn’t have the nerve to call them.
Her father was being weird about the whole adoption thing and maybe that was the problem.
The last time she talked to her mother on the phone, Amanda could hear him in the background.
“Who gives their kid up for adoption? The mother’s probably on drugs.
” Her dad had never been known for his tact. Still, the words stung.
After he sold his business, her parents had headed south. They hadn’t seen the day-to-day struggles Connor and Amanda went through trying to have a family. Connor’s mom said they were losing their smiles. Amanda couldn’t deny the stress had taken a toll.
She slogged her way around the corner and the wind blasted her full force.
But her in-laws’ house lay just ahead. McKenna’s orange jeep sat out front, mounded with snow.
Amanda trudged on. At least the walk was shoveled and someone had salted the front steps.
When Amanda got to the top, she stomped her boots on the mat with Christmas elves.
Music blared from inside the red brick bungalow—“White Christmas,” no less.
Well, they’d sure have that. Pushing open the front door, she sniffed the aroma of corned beef and cabbage, along with the pine from the Douglas fir in the corner.
The Kirkpatricks had never succumbed to artificial trees and were darn proud of it.
The sudden onslaught of warmth stung her cheeks and ears.
Plenty of Christmas spirit in this house. Greenery and ornaments hung everywhere, from the mantel to the handrail that led upstairs. The stockings attached to that banister numbered the seven children and their spouses, as well as their children. Santa would be busy.
Would their baby’s stocking hang in this cluster next year? The warmth curling in her stomach cooled. “Hello! Anybody home?”
“Amanda!” McKenna rushed into the hall from the kitchen. In four steps her sister-in-law had enveloped her in a fierce hug. “Where have you been, lady? We were getting worried. Oh, your cheeks are cold.”
“I got stuck. Do you believe it?” Breaking the sisterly embrace, Amanda shrugged out of her coat, hung it on the coat tree and kicked off her boots.
She owed so much to her sister-in-law. Their hopes for a baby had dimmed until McKenna became involved.
Angie had been a student in McKenna’s natural childbirth class.
“The car’s sitting over on a side street about six blocks away. Connor will kill me.”
“Amanda! You’re here! We were worried.” Auburn hair flying, Harper threw herself into the group hug.
Youngest of the family, Harper looked different, her long locks cut into a shoulder-length style. Amanda pulled away to get a better look. “Every time I see you, you’re more beautiful. You’ve grown up! Savannah must agree with you.”
Pulling away, Connor’s youngest sister blushed. “Guess so.”
“Oh, I think it’s more than just that southern air, my dear,” McKenna drawled in a ridiculous southern accent. Harper had gone to school in Savannah, staying for a stint as a nanny when she couldn’t find another job. Cameron Bennett had started as her employer, but ended up being so much more.
“Is Cameron coming for Christmas?” Amanda couldn’t wait to meet him.
“Yep, he’ll be here.” The flush in Harper’s porcelain skin deepened.
Connor’s two sisters were knockouts. The entire family had that auburn hair in a range of shades, all of them striking.
Their eye color differed too, since Maureen had green eyes and Big Mike, as Connor’s father was known, had brown eyes.
Amanda had always loved Connor’s brown suede eyes, soft but sensual.
She shivered and brought her attention back to Harper. “Is Cameron bringing his little girl with him?”
“Of course. Here only two days and I miss them both like crazy.”