Chapter 3
“You’re letting yourself get stressed out,” McKenna told Amanda as they stood so close to the tree that the pine smell tickled her throat.
The room felt warm and Amanda wished she hadn’t worn this stupid red sweater with the snowman on it. “What if Angie changes her mind at that last minute?”
“Any signs that might happen?”
“A birth mother can always back out, right? She wants to see the baby once it’s born. Made a point of it.” A red flag in Amanda’s mind.
“Not unusual. Since she chose water birth, of course she’ll see him. You want your baby to be held right away.” McKenna nudged her into the buffet line and picked up a serving spoon. “But that doesn’t mean she’ll change her mind. How about some eggs?”
“I don’t think so. So many kids are sick at school and I think I’m getting the bug.” McKenna would give her a hard time if Amanda even mentioned ulcers. Usually, she loved the crisp brown sugared bacon. Not today. She took an English muffin.
“You have to chill out.” McKenna heaped eggs and hash browns on her plate. “School will be off soon and your maternity leave will begin.”
“Maybe I should go back to work after Christmas break. Angie isn’t due for two weeks. I don’t want any time on my hands,” Amanda fretted. But what would she do in the house alone all day, waiting for Angie to deliver? Sit in the nursery and worry? “Aren’t first babies usually late?”
“Sometimes, but not always. You need some rest, Amanda. Use those free days to read and take long naps. You won’t get much sleep once the baby comes.”
If the baby comes.
Amanda wanted to work as long as she could.
McKenna didn’t understand. She was single and able to pay for her flashy orange jeep.
Christmas had made a dent in their budget.
They’d agreed not to spend much on gifts this year.
The family understood, and they’d all been so generous anyway with this shower.
The presents heaped under the tree would probably take care of a lot of the baby’s basic needs.
Her dad didn’t expect any payments for a while, if ever.
But Connor was proud. He wanted to repay her parents, sooner rather than later.
Payments of any size were bound to stress their finances further, but Connor could be headstrong.
“Thank you for organizing this party,” she whispered to McKenna when the two of them found seats in the dining room where Maureen had added extra card tables.
McKenna’s green eyes sparkled. “Harper and I had so much fun planning this. A baby for Christmas? Can’t beat that.”
“But no stupid games?”
“As much as we wanted to gross Connor out, we aren’t having any games.”
“Where’s Logan today?”
“He’s on call. I think he ended up delivering a baby.”
Amanda’s heart leapt right into her throat. “It’s not…”
McKenna gave a shake of her head and led the way to one of the long tables set up in a hallway. “Oh, no. Besides, I’ll be delivering her baby. And you and Connor will be in the waiting room.”
They sat down and Amanda began to nibble her English muffin.
“Have you decided what your relationship will be with Angie once the baby comes?” A hearty eater, McKenna was having no trouble with her appetite today.
“Since this is an open adoption, I don’t have any problem with Angie having visitation rights. Of course, I wouldn’t even try to explain the relationship until he…Sean…is much older.” Amanda felt a glow just saying the name. They’d been holding back on telling the family.
Saying the name made it seen real.
Made it seem possible.
Suddenly hope glimmered.
“Sean.” McKenna seemed to turn the name over on her tongue. “Perfect. We need a Sean in this family.”
Amanda hadn’t mentioned the name to Angie.
Sometimes she wanted more boundaries. Angie’s baby but their son.
Her mind circled back to visitation. “Do you think the open adoption might create problems? If we let Angie see the baby whenever she wants, maybe she’ll want him back someday. That could happen, right?”
“Chill out.” McKenna patted her hand. “My bet is that Angie is going to move her life along. She has plans to become a legal secretary. Someday she’s going to meet the right man and have her own family.”
The words calmed Amanda. “You have so much common sense McKenna. One of the reasons I love you so much. You can talk me off the ledge.”
McKenna gave Amanda’s shoulder a soft squeeze. “Right. Just remember that when I’m the one on the ledge.”
Settling back, Amanda began to chat with Janie who’d sat down on her other side.
When everyone had trooped out to the kitchen to exchange an empty plate for chicory coffee, Harper motioned Amanda and Connor to the two chairs positioned to one side of the crackling fire.
Gosh, this felt surreal. If she blinked, would she wake up? The love of their family and friends cocooned them. Their baby would feel this devotion too, a comforting thought. When she glanced over at Connor, the love in his eyes soothed the raw edges of their recent argument.
Amanda tried darn hard to overlook her parents’ absence and concentrate on all the positive things happening, but their absence still stung. They were going to be grandparents and didn’t seem to have any idea how much this baby meant to her.
Connor squeezed her hand. “You zoning out? Did you eat anything?”
“You bet.”
Connor knew her too well. “Babe?”
Heat stung her cheeks, and she shifted her gaze to the tree. “It’s just the excitement of everything right now.”
“You’ve got to settle down, honey.”
She felt relieved when Seth stooped and wrestled a huge box from under the tree. “Let’s get this party started.” He pushed it across the carpet toward them.
“Wonder what this could be?” Connor gaped at the gift. Really looked like he had no clue. Amanda was the one who’d spent an afternoon with Janie and the gift registry.
“Here’s how this goes. You have to open it to find out what’s inside.” Seth glanced at the tag. “This is from Mom and Dad.”
“Okay, smart ass,” Connor shot back with a good-natured smile. “I’m with the program.”
From the shape and size of this box, Amanda suspected it was the stroller. Excited, she peeled off the blue wrapping paper until finally just the cardboard box stood in front of them.
“Oh, thank you!” A picture of the orange and brown stroller filled one side. Amanda could almost picture the two of them pushing the stroller down Lake Street. Could almost feel the sun on their shoulders.
“Open it, son,” Connor’s father urged. “Not going to bite.”
When Connor whipped out his Swiss army knife, his brothers roared. He cut the tape and gave the box one good shake. The stroller slid out. What a picture to see Connor wrestling with that stroller. Cheers erupted at the sight of the Chicago Cubs logo on the front.
“I want my grandson to know from the start which team to root for,” Big Mike called out above the raucous laughter.
Amanda could tell Connor was pleased. Finally, he was going to enter the family inner circle where babies abounded and family jokes passed from one generation to the next. Her jitters calmed.
Joe joined Seth in passing gifts to Connor and Amanda. Most of the presents weren’t really a surprise. Well, not for her. Connor? Totally new territory.
“What the heck?” Connor turned the boppy pillow over in his large, capable hands. “The kid needs a neck brace?”
“This keeps him comfortable.” Amanda stashed it back in the box before passing it to Janie.
Smaller gifts made the circuit and Harper took notes so Amanda would have the right information for thank you notes. No surprise that their friends and family had been so generous.
As the afternoon waned and the pile of opened presents grew, Amanda’s sense of disbelief ebbed. Her future became redefined by baby products. A sense of well-being swelled in her chest and glancing at Connor’s flushed face, she knew he felt it too.
Goofing around, Joe twisted open a container of baby powder by mistake and the sweet scent lingered in the air.
At the end, Connor stood. The sudden hush felt really weird in this rambunctious group. He had that commanding effect on people. Amanda’s heart twisted just looking at him. This whole frustrating process had been hard on her husband, although he’d been incredibly patient.
“I guess it’s no secret for any of you that Amanda and I have wanted this baby for a heck of a long time.
We sure appreciate all this. Been a long ride to get here.
” Connor’s voice thickened. She knotted her hands tighter in her lap to keep from hugging him.
That would never go over. Not in front of the guys.
After all, he was the oldest, the guy who always had everything under control.
But when it came to babies, no one had control.
The tension from all their arguments fell away. Her shoulders relaxed under the comfortable weight of her love for Connor.
“One final request.” Connor’s square chin came up and the grin was back. “Hope we can count on all of you to babysit!”
Amanda joined in the applause. Could she even picture leaving her baby with someone else?
She wanted to spend hours counting each tiny toe and finger, charting every coo and burp, feeling the impossibly soft skin beneath her fingers.
Ridiculous how her eyes filled. Crouching to the floor, she got busy stuffing the discarded wrapping paper into a trash bag.
When it came time to leave, Seth and Mark helped Connor carefully pack the gifts into the trunk and back seat of the Malibu. Amanda’s limbs felt like noodles, although the cold air cleared her head. Wasn’t easy to leave the warm comfort behind, but she had to work on Monday and so did Connor.