14. Chapter Fourteen #3
"I should probably go back to a regular T-shirt," she says quietly. “Leave the jersey wearing to Ranger.”
"Don't."
"Kevin—"
"Please. One more game. Dallas. Wear it for me."
"This is getting complicated."
"It's just a jersey, Sarah."
We both know that's a lie.
"Is it?" Her voice is barely a whisper.
"No." I close my eyes. "But can we pretend? Just for one more game?"
"You're making this really hard."
"I know. I'm sorry." I pause. "Dallas is the last game before we're home."
"I know."
"And then we can talk. About whatever this is."
Silence. I can hear her breathing, thinking. It’s worrying me.
"Sarah—"
"I'll wear the jersey. For Dallas." Her voice softens. "What time do you land?"
"We fly to Dallas tomorrow morning. We’ll practice in the afternoon and then there will be some downtime, so I’ll probably get dinner with my parents. Game’s at six the next day because of TV times, then I’ll be home by eleven or so after the game since the flight’s so short."
"That's still a long time."
"Too long." I sit up and the words are out before I can stop them. "I could get you a ticket if you wanted to come up. To Dallas."
Silence.
Shit. What am I doing?
"Kevin—"
"I know it's last minute. But I just—" I run my hand through my hair. "I want to see you. Even if it's just you in the stands for a couple hours."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not? You could drive up, watch the game—"
"Your parents will be there."
I freeze.
Fuck. Of course they will. Mom never misses a game when it's thirty minutes from her doorstep. And they think I'm just friends with the girl who owns the dog rescue.
They have no idea I'm sleeping with her. No idea I think about her constantly. No idea I just spent three days checking my phone between periods like a lovesick teenager.
And Mom would know the second she saw us together. One look at my face and she'd see everything I'm trying not to admit to myself.
How would I even introduce her? "Hey Mom, this is Sarah, we're casually sleeping together but also I'm completely gone for her and have no idea what we're doing"? Yeah, that'll go over great.
"Right," I say slowly. "Yeah. They will be."
"And I'd have to drive back to Austin alone anyway, right? You'd be on the team charter."
"Yeah. I’d beat you back home." Another thing I didn't think through. "I can't just skip the team flight and ride with you."
"So, what would be the plan? I drive four hours to Dallas, sit in the stands trying not to make eye contact with your parents — who I’ve never met — watch you play, maybe see you for twenty minutes after you're finished doing media, then drive four hours back alone while you fly home with the team? You’ll have to pick Ranger up from LSP because I can’t leave him here all day. "
When she puts it like that, it sounds insane.
"I didn't think it through," I admit. "I just — I miss you. And two more days feels like forever and I'm trying to... I don't know. Take a shot. See what happens."
Her laugh is soft. "That's very not-defensive of you."
"You know, even defensemen can score goals sometimes." I put out there what I was thinking earlier.
Maybe the universe responds to hockey metaphors.
She laughs. I can hear Ranger shifting in the background.
"I appreciate the offer," she says quietly. "Really. But I think it's better if I just watch from here. In your jersey. Like we planned."
She's right. I know she's right. Meeting my parents, navigating all that when we haven't even figured out what we are — it's too much, too fast.
But fuck, I want to see her.
To touch her.
To kiss her.
To have her. To just have her. Without all the second guessing and the games.
"Okay," I say. "You're right. That was stupid." I drop back on the hotel bed, staring at the ceiling.
"Not stupid. Just not thought through."
"You throw off my game. Missing you makes me an idiot." Fuck. Did I just say that out loud? I wait. For her to laugh. To agree. To hang up. Something.
She doesn’t though. She just keeps the conversation moving along, like maybe the news that I’m an idiot isn’t that shocking to her.
"I'll be watching though. From Austin. And you know Ranger will be waiting when you get home."
"Just Ranger?"
Long pause. Then, quieter: "No. Not just Ranger."
I grip my phone tighter. She’s waiting for me too. And that goes straight to my cock. I’m going to need to make sure tonight’s shower is ice cold.
"I'll text you when we land."
"Okay." Another pause. "Kevin?"
"Yeah?"
"Get some sleep. All these plane rides are going to drain you. Gotta make sure you’re ready for the game. Can't have you getting sloppy in your own zone."
She's using hockey talk to avoid the real conversation, but I'll take whatever I get from her.
"Yes ma'am."
"Goodnight, Sunshine."
The line goes quiet but she doesn't hang up. I can hear her breathing, like she's waiting for something.
"Sarah?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you're there. In my place."
"Me too," she whispers.
Then she does hang up.
Cold shower. Sleep. Travel day. Practice. One more game.
And then, I'm going home to her.