24. Sienna
Chapter 24
Sienna
When I shut the bathroom door, I immediately turned and pressed my back against it, clinging to the black silk Chanel dress he had purchased for me. The dress had to have cost more than my entire life savings—and the necklace…
Stepping towards the vanity, I tossed the dress over the shower door to hang while I stared at my reflection in the long mirror. My hand grasped the chain that hung around my neck, and it felt like a heavy weight pulling me down.
I didn’t know how to react to his gifts. One part of me was in awe that he would have even considered doing something like this, spending an unnecessary amount of money on me, but the other felt like he was buying my affection or at least attempting it.
Was this who I was to become? A killer wife with her murderous husband? The insanity of the idea alone made me laugh like an unhinged psycho.
How the fuck was I okay with this?
I didn’t run when the truth came out. I very well could have, but I didn’t, and honestly, I didn’t know why. Could I be falling in love with him? Is that why I could look past something as life-shattering as his true profession behind closed doors?
My mind raced as I stared at the woman in the mirror, attempting to figure out who she was and who she wanted to be. A question I thought I had answered five years ago, but now I wasn’t so sure.
Fuck!
I pounded my fists onto the black and gold marble vanity before sinking to the floor, curling into a ball, and resting my shoulder against the cabinet door.
I didn’t cry; I was too angry to cry, but I was at war internally with my emotions—myself.
What the fuck do you want, Sienna? I could hear my husband’s voice in my head, and I knew that was precisely what he was asking me every time he stared into my eyes with that look of devotion and adoration.
Did he love me? Or was I just a trophy for him to keep? Why was I even still arguing with myself over this?
I told myself I was going to give us a chance, knowing that I had started developing feelings for him.
So why did my thoughts never cease to spiral out of control every waking minute?
Lock it the fuck up, Sienna…
Chyler: If you love him, and he loves you, nothing else matters. Fuck what anyone else thinks.
Chyler’s text sat in the back of my mind like a beacon, and as I pulled myself back up to face the vanity, I took a deep breath, letting go of everything I thought I knew about myself and submitting to the now—the unknown.
I closed my eyes with a slow inhale, holding it for a few seconds. As I released the breath I held, I opened my eyes to stare back at a woman who would do anything to become a force to be reckoned with—one who would break the rules to get anything she wanted in life.
Chyler was right, fuck what anyone else thinks .