Yellow dress
Violet POV
I straightened my yellow dress once again. I can't believe I am doing this. Deep inside I already have no faith that this is going to work , so when I already have no fate what is the point of going through with it.
I slam my fists against the desk, and stared at myself in the mirror, my hair and make up done perfectly by two fellow agents covering up my bags under my eyes thanks to me getting little to no sleep last night.
A pair of green eyes haunted my dreams keeping me up all night. Guilt was sitting on my chest feeling like a ton of meter weighing down on my heart.
I can't believe I just left again.
I hate that I find it so easy to run away from my problems instead of just confronting them.
I hate that Xander had to walk in at that specific moment and hear what I said.
But the mood goddess is my witness, I didn't mean that.
I have so much to live for, here though.
With Xander everything is perfect, everything is butterflies and rainbows but everyone know perfect never lasts and I can't take another heartbreak.
But if you don't give it a chance you will never know.
Part of me just greedily wants Xander.
But I don't know if Xander wants me. He kisses me and leaves me open.
What am I to him?
I'm not his mate nor her girlfriend ...am I just someone he expects to be around just to kiss.
I groan in defeat and reach up to remove the clips and accessories from my hair letting it fall in pretty curls over my shoulders figuratively releasing some of my minds problems and tensions.
I left the room in my yellow dress. All these Alphas and there formal dress codes .
I hate dress ...especially these tightly fitted ones. There are never any legroom.
A black car was waiting for me and took me straight past the city to a Greenland and a few miles in a big house decorated clearly for a party.
I exited the car and made my way up the stairs.
"Violet, I was beginning to suspect you ditch my event."
James took my hand to his lips and gently kissed my knuckles.
"I would never miss it."
Especially because of the free food.
"Please do go in and enjoy, soon I will find you."
I nodded and entered the venue. Gorgeous it was, a deep red colour painted on the walls , French art hung around the room decorating it and complementing the flower arrangements.
I turned around admired the view, if I was a Luna i would definitely make my rooms like this.
Completely unaware of my surrounding I bang into a person.
A shirtless person. Or persons stood in front of me with the perfect bodies, but just the thought of me looking at them or checking them out even thinking of them in any way made me sick to my stomach.
"Sorry my lady, we didn't see where we were going."
I smiled at the young boy, he was probably sixteen or seventeen.
"It's alright , I wasn't looking either."
They were definitely twins, looking exactly the same with brown hair and hazel eyes.
The other brother leaned over to me pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Tell me gorgeous, where are you from."
Rolling my eyes I turned to face the brother.
"I am pretty sure I am at least five years your elder, you should speak to me with some respect like your brother over there."
Great now I am sounding like an old lady.
I didn't break eyes contact, I know young teenage boys, think they are strong enough to rule the world would out knowing the simple rules.
"I don't know Love, I love myself an older women." He stated emphasizing the second love.
"Derek I think we should go, she is the Alphas guest."
'Derek' turned and spoke to his twin.
"I don't know Tyler, she is gorge-" I didn't wait for Derek to completed his words when I gripped his hands and tired it holding it at an impossible difficult angle behind his back. Then I raised my leg through my slit to hit his back.
As my knee successfully connects with his bottom spine he lets out a groan and fell to the ground , using his free hand as a stabilizer for him, but for me a perfect platform to slow my stiletto heel to push.
"Listen here love and listen good, don't try to act all smart and strong cause your in for a damn good surprise, I added more pressure to his arm before letting him go , just as alpha James walked back to us.
" Derek , Tyler tell me what's going on here." You could hear the amusement in his voice as he walked over and slung an arm over my shoulder.
"Nothing Alpha, Derek here just got his ass handed to him by her."
"Violet, I'll like you to meet my nephews, boys this is an agent and ex wolf of mine Violet."
These were Elle's to exceptions boys.
They were big built but short , sweet was Tyler and more bad boy vibes from Derek.
"Look Alpha X is here!" The two boys turned and walked around running towards another couple.
An Africa women, short and curvy, dressed in a multitudes colours and patterns was on her tippy toes hugging another tall man, with red hair and blonde tips. Dressed in a navy blue suit with a bright yellow jersey.
"You come and see me only once in two months , is that how much you love me?" The African women exclaimed, she was definitely way more elder then the man, if I could just see who he was.
"That's Mohanna over there and she is hugging."
Just as he was speaking the man looked up and his same green eyes that were haunting me all night stared deep into me.
Alpha Xander.
That means that.
Derek and Tyler were Ella's children.
Ella was James sister.
James is my mentor .
Alpha Xander is Ella's true mate.
He is the alpha that came to watch over the boys every month.
Alpha Xander is to me..
I don't even know.
"Oohh oooh ohhh I sense some tension here." Mohanna crackled.
We still didn't break eye contact.
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"Oh my , this is difficult, I have never seen a case like yours, many of the time people loose there wolves when rejected but you didn't, your very strong my love."
I mentally rolled my eyes, what is with Europeans and calling people love.
"There is only one thing I can tell you, from what you told me , your wolf came out several times after highly emotional situations. I believe that you need to undergo either a great love or a great loss, to retrieve your wolf again."
We were currently sitting in a smaller room just outside the party, Mohanna and I sat opposite each other with James standing next to me and Xander leaning in the door opposite me. Just staring , not talking....at all.
"I can't go through another loss again. I don't think myself as a human can handle it."
Mohanna stood up.
"Then we will try for love, a deep emotional love.." she looked at Xander then back to me, " maybe we could try physical love to, if that doesn't work then at least it fun."
She starts cackling at her own jokes before leaving the room with James in toe.
"What's are you doing here Mickelson. Oh wait don't tell me, I mean nothing" His voice was different more monotone , cold not inviting.
"I was invited Bloom." I took a deep breath, " don't you dare Xander, don't be cold and angry with me after everything."
Is good up from my chair and turned to face the alpha.
"You can't be angry with me."
He took a step forward.
"You left not me."
"You didn't give me a reason to stay."
I stayed standing up straighter.
Xander flat out laughed, " I didn't give you a reason, you know I wanted you to stay,"
He took a step forward and I took a step back tripping over the chairs legs and falling back onto the chair.
"You didn't tell me why you wanted me to stay, I'm not your mate ,I'm not your girlfriend nor am I your wife. What do you want me to be? A flipping mistress like Ian, someone there for you to kiss only?"
Xander growled at the mention of his names, he bent down to my height, his hair falling over his green eyes as they started deep into mine.
He pushed forwards and gave me a forceful short demanding kiss to my lips.
" you are not my mate, my mate died. Your are not my girlfriend, those relationships are ment to end.
Your not my wife yet.
But you sure as hell are not a mistress to me."
I stared up into his green eyes, breathing heavily, heart beating so fast, because of my shouting fest or that kiss I don't even know.
"Why don't you tell me straight, what do you want." I swallowed hoping I won't regret this.
"You dammit , I want you."
"But I'm not a wolf nor your mate."
"I want you and only you Violet Hope Mickelson, wolf or not, alpha or not."
I leaned up and pressed my lips to him.
He pulled back.
"Is that you way of agreeing?"
I nodded as he came back down and kissed me, he lifted me off the chair and into his arms.
"I never want to let go of you again."
I whispered
"Then don't."
Xander growled.
"What are you saying Violet."
I kissed his lips, " don't let go of me Partner." I whispered.
He set me on my feet and led me out the room, all the way up to his private room.
The room he always stays at when he visits.
And let's just say his hands didn't leave me all night.
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