Chapter 34
Chapter
Thirty-Four
FINN
I ’m in my chambers, leaning over my desk, going through some old scrolls when I hear the door creak open. I don’t look up immediately—too wrapped up in what I’m doing, too absorbed in the quiet of the room. But then I feel the presence. The unmistakable, irritating presence of Torin.
I don’t know why he has to barge in like this, but here he is. I know he’s not here to discuss anything important, so I don’t bother with pleasantries. My eyes stay on the parchment, my fingers tracing the worn edges of the old map.
“You know,” Torin’s voice breaks the silence, low and almost casual, like he’s not about to drop a bomb on me. “Kael just took Sable’s virginity.”
I freeze for a second. My heart skips a beat, my fingers clenching involuntarily. I try to mask my reaction, but the weight of his words hits me like a punch to the gut.
I glance up at him, disbelief creeping into my voice. “Torin. How the hell do you know that? ”
He’s leaning against the doorframe, that same smug grin on his face, and the bastard looks too pleased with himself. “Because I was listening outside his door, obviously,” he says, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Wanted to hear my little kitten come for the first time, on a cock. I made her come earlier today, but with my fingers.” He pauses. "Or, was it with my tongue. I can't remember."
I feel a rush of heat flood my chest. The jealousy is a familiar, ugly thing that creeps up inside of me. I don’t want to acknowledge it, don’t want to let it show. But it’s there. Tight in my throat, a bitter taste in the back of my mouth. I swallow it down, pushing back the feeling, focusing on his words.
I force my tone to stay neutral, unaffected. “I could care less what Kael does with her,” I say, keeping my voice calm, though I know I’m not fooling anyone. Least of all myself. “She’s supposed to be our prisoner. If Alpha wants to fuck his prisoner, then he’s within his right to do whatever the hell he wants with her. Not for us to question it.”
Torin’s grin doesn’t fade. He knows. He knows the control I’m trying to maintain. “Is that right, Ghost?” he drawls, stepping farther into the room, his eyes never leaving mine. “You’re really okay with that? Watching your brothers claim her one by one, knowing she’s... ours ?”
I grit my teeth, trying to ignore the way his words hit harder than they should. “She’s not ours,” I bite out. “She’s a prisoner. Period. Whatever happens between her and Kael, or you for that matter, is none of my concern.”
I try to make it sound convincing, but even to my own ears, it’s not. The truth is, I hate it. Every second of it. I hate that she’s been claimed, and I hate that I’m not the one who got to be the first to touch her, to make her feel mine . But I’m not going to admit that to Torin. Not now. I don't even want to admit it to myself because I don't understand it .
He’s watching me carefully, his eyes flicking over me like he’s reading every inch of what I’m trying to hide. “Mm,” he hums, a mock thoughtful look on his face. “Sure. But I think we both know you’re lying. I can feel your jealousy from here.”
I don’t respond, don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me crack. But he’s right. He always knows when something’s off. The worst part is, I don’t even know why I care this much. It’s not like she’s mine to claim. She’s a prisoner, a pawn in this whole fucked-up game. And now just a means to an end to defeat Rothgar and rid ourselves of a problematic warlock hunter in the process.
I stand up from the desk, needing to move, needing to get away from this conversation before it goes anywhere I don’t want it to. “I don’t care,” I repeat, louder this time, trying to convince myself. “She’s here for one reason. To be our prisoner. Nothing more. I’m not going to let her fuck with my head the way you two clearly don't seem to mind.”
Torin just watches me, his eyes narrowing with that signature knowing look. “We’ll see, Finn. We’ll see.”
His words hang in the air are like a weight that won’t lift. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to be affected by Sable, not in any way. But there’s something about her. Something about the way she challenges me, the way she makes me feel alive, makes me want to claim her in a way I haven’t felt in years.
I stand there, my fingers tightening around the silver ring that’s always on my hand. It’s a habit, a constant thing to fidget with when my mind starts racing.
I roll it around my fingers again, a reminder of something— someone —I can’t shake.
Torin leans against the wall, arms crossed, his eyes never leaving me. He’s watching me, waiting for me to break. It’s like he’s expecting me to give in to whatever it is he thinks I’m denying.
“You know,” Torin says, his voice low, almost casual. “It’s funny how much you care about Sable, Finn. You’re trying so hard to pretend you don’t, but I can see it. I can feel it.”
I don’t look up from the ring, but I feel his eyes drilling into me.
“I don’t care,” I say again, more forcefully this time, as if saying it louder will make it true. “She’s a prisoner. A tool. That’s all she is.”
Torin doesn’t buy it. “Right. Sure. Tell me that again in five minutes when she’s got you twisted in knots.”
My jaw tightens, but I don’t answer him. I don’t know how to explain it to him. To myself. I can’t even say the words aloud.
He continues, undeterred. “You’re holding onto something, Finn. Some idea of what you should want, and you’re not letting go of it. What are you so afraid of? You think that if you let go, it’s going to make your past, your mistakes, go away?”
I stop moving. The ring pauses in my hand. He’s right. God, he’s right. That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m holding onto the idea of something—of someone —because letting go would mean acknowledging that I’ve moved on, that I’m not the same man I was before. That maybe, just maybe, I can have something new .
I turn to face him, my patience finally starting to wear thin. “What do you want from me, Torin?” I growl, the frustration building in my chest. “What the hell is your point? She’s not mine. She doesn’t want me. And I don’t want her either. She’s a fucking complication.”
Torin smirks, his expression that annoying mix of smug and knowing. “You want me to spell it out for you?” he asks, pushing off the wall. He takes a slow step forward, the confidence in his movements almost maddening. “Fine. You want her, Finn. You desire her. There. I said it.”
I feel a jolt in my chest, a cold rush of air filling my lungs. The words land like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. He’s right, but I refuse to admit it. I refuse to give in. I clench my jaw and take a step back, trying to distance myself from the truth he’s shoving in my face.
“I don’t want her,” I repeat, but it sounds hollow even to my own ears.
Torin raises an eyebrow. “Then why do you think about her all the time? Why are you fucking twisting yourself up with her like this? You think she doesn’t know you’re having a hard time resisting her? You think she doesn’t see it? My kitten is smart.”
The words cut through me, sharp and unrelenting. I feel them sink into the pit of my stomach, the heat rising inside me. She does know. I’ve been trying to play this game, to hold back, to make it seem like I don’t give a damn, but she knows. And I can feel it—the way she challenges me, the way she tempts me, even without trying.
I hate that she has this power over me. I hate that I want her.
Torin takes another step forward, his voice getting quieter, like he’s speaking directly to the parts of me I’m trying to ignore. “You’re not the man you were, Finn. You’re still holding onto that fucking past. You’re not a damn ghost anymore, but you keep acting like you are. And her? She’s the first thing in a long time that’s made you feel again.”
I can’t hold it in anymore. I feel like I’m being torn apart, and it all comes spilling out before I can stop myself.
“Fine,” I admit, my voice rough, low, and raw. “I want her. I fucking desire her. You happy now?”
Torin’s expression shifts, like he’s finally getting what he wanted. That satisfied grin slides across his face, his eyes gleaming with something almost proud. “There you go,” he says, his voice like smooth, molten steel. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
I’m breathing heavily now, the weight of the confession hanging in the air between us. I stand there, stunned by what I just admitted, trying to ignore the feeling of release, like a pressure valve finally opening. I’m not sure if I want to strangle Torin or thank him.
But his next words surprise me. “You’ve made progress, Finn. That’s what I’m proud of.” He lets out a long breath, his voice finally losing its edge of mockery. “You’re finally letting go of your ghosts. And you’re finally willing to live again. Even if it’s with her.”
I don’t know how to respond to that, so I don’t. Instead, I just let the silence settle between us, the weight of his words hanging in the air.
I roll the silver ring across my fingers, but it suddenly doesn't feel the same.
I know what’s coming next.
And I know I can’t keep pretending I don’t want it.