Chapter 37
Chapter
Thirty-Seven
KAEL
T he room feels colder than it should, despite the warm fire crackling in the hearth. The dim light from the flames flickers across the stone walls, casting long, eerie shadows that stretch like ghosts across the floor. I’m sitting at my desk, papers scattered in front of me—one eye on the door, one on the reports about Rothgar's movements that got sent over earlier. There's word of unrest, rebellion, and movements I can't quite place. He's not adhering to the Blood Moon Truce. But, I must respect our sacred traditions, so my hands are tied and I'm fucking frustrated about it.
Two weeks until the Trials resume, and it feels like the whole damn world is on the edge of a knife. I don’t know how much longer I can hold everything together, but I’ll be damned if I let it fall apart before we finish what we started.
The door creaks open, pulling me from my thoughts. I don’t need to look up to know who it is. The heavy footfalls, the air of confidence mixed with a whiff of insanity—Torin.
He strides in without a word, and the temperature in the room seems to rise a few degrees, like he’s heating up the place with just his presence.
“Kael,” he says, voice low but thick with irritation. Well, irritation as far as Torin is concerned. “We need to talk.”
I raise an eyebrow, still not bothering to look at him. “What’s there to talk about?” I mutter, my fingers tracing the edge of the parchment in front of me.
Torin’s footsteps stop behind me, and I can feel the weight of his presence, the pressure building in the room like a storm ready to break.
“Don’t play stupid with me,” he growls, his voice laced with something darker now. “You left Sable alone after your first time with her. What the hell is wrong with you?”
I finally look up, meeting his gaze. The firelight dances in his eyes, but there’s a coldness there that I can’t ignore. He knows I’m not a man who gives a damn about much, but Sable is different. For me and for him.
I shrug, trying to brush it off. “What do you want me to say, Torin? She fell asleep. I didn’t want to wake her up, so I put her in her own bed. End of story.”
Torin snorts, clearly unimpressed. He steps closer, his boots clicking against the stone floor with a steady rhythm that grates on my nerves. “You’re really gonna stand there and tell me that’s all? You just... left her, Kael? After everything?”
I lean back in my chair, folding my arms across my chest. The last thing I want is to get into this right now, especially with him. But I know Torin too well. He won’t let me off that easy. He’s not the kind to leave things unsaid.
“You’re pissed because I left her in her bed?” I ask, my voice flat, masking the frustration I feel inside. “It’s not like I don’t care . I didn’t know what to do. What was I supposed to do, Torin? Let her sleep in my chambers? In my bed? ”
Torin stands there for a beat, just looking at me like I’m the biggest idiot he’s ever seen. “Yes, Kael,” he says finally, voice dripping with sarcasm. “You should’ve done that. You should’ve stayed with her, held her. Done something right .”
I bite the inside of my cheek, my fingers curling into the wood of the desk. The last thing I want to do is open up about it. But Torin’s not giving me an out.
“ You didn’t stay with her,” I mutter, more to myself than to him, the words escaping before I can stop them.
Torin grins—shit, I knew that was coming. “And? I didn't fuck her for her first time. I left that honor to you, so she could experience what that felt like through a binding. And, what did you do with the privilege?” he asks, his tone far too smug for my liking. “You left her, you idiot. You’re not some heartless bastard, Kael. I know you’ve got it in you to actually give a damn about someone.”
I sigh, rubbing my temples. The last thing I need is a lecture from him. But I’ve never been able to escape his damn insight. His ability to read people— especially me —is uncanny. Even more so when you consider that he comes off as certifiable.
“Fine,” I growl, giving in, “maybe I wasn’t sure what the right move was. She fell asleep in my arms, Torin. She looked... peaceful . I didn’t want to fuck that up. So I thought I’d let her sleep. And I didn't think she'd want to wake up looking at me. Maybe she'd regret everything if she did.”
Torin’s eyes soften for a split second, just a flicker of understanding before that same confident smirk returns. “You really are a fucking idiot, Kael. But at least you’re a self-aware idiot. I’ll give you that.”
I can’t help but laugh despite myself. Torin’s grin widens, his usual arrogance rolling off him in waves. The tension in the room feels lighter now, just enough for me to exhale .
“I’m an idiot, huh?” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “Is that what you think?”
Torin crosses his arms, leaning against the wall with a casual ease that only he could pull off. “You know what I think,” he says, his voice dropping to something more serious now. “I think you’re scared. You’ve been running from the one thing that actually matters— feelings . And now you’ve got her, and you don’t know what the fuck to do with her.”
I glare at him. “I know what I’m doing.”
He snorts. “Sure you do, Kael. Sure you do. Just keep lying to yourself. It’s adorable .”
I roll my eyes. “You don’t get it.”
Torin steps closer, his tone dropping, but there’s a certain weight to his words now. “No, you don’t get it. You’re letting your past turn you into a present asshole, Kael. You can’t keep running from this. Not with her. You want her, don’t you?”
I freeze, my chest tightening at the truth in his words. I hate that he’s right. I do want her. More than I want to admit. But it’s complicated, twisted in ways I’m not ready to face.
“She fell asleep, Torin,” I say again, my voice low, almost defeated. “I didn’t want to wake her up and make her think this was... a mistake.”
Torin stands there for a moment, watching me closely. “And what about you ? What do you think, Kael? You think she’s a mistake?”
I shake my head, the frustration building again. “No,” I say firmly. “I don’t think she’s a mistake. But I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, alright? Is that what you want to hear? I’ve never done this before. You found the one thing I'm not skilled at.”
Torin chuckles, the sound rumbling from deep in his chest. "You're not good at a lot of stuff, you big narcissist."
I laugh, the tension in my chest easing somewhat .
“You don't need to be perfect. But, if you care about her, like I think you do, then you’re going to have to step up. You can’t keep pulling away.”
I know he's right. I don’t respond, but the tension in my shoulders loosens, a little piece of me finally accepting the weight of his words. It’s not about perfection, about having all the answers. It’s about doing something with the mess that’s in front of me.
“Alright,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’ll talk to her.
Torin leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms, his usual cocky grin still firmly in place. “You need to do more than talk to her, Kael,” he says with that signature drawl, “you should probably go make it up to her.”
I glance over at him, raising an eyebrow. “Make it up to her?” I ask, my tone dripping with skepticism. “How the hell am I supposed to do that?”
Torin shrugs, still grinning. “You’re the one who left her alone after her first time , my brother. You owe her. Don’t think you can just walk away from that.”
I wince at the reminder, but I know he’s right. “Yeah, well... she seemed fine. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”
Torin rolls his eyes. “Yeah, of course she’s fine. She’s not going to cry about it. That's not who she is. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t fuck up. She’s been training her ass off for the Trials. She's going up against Rothgar to help us . But she wants to know how to use her powers. You know, like magic and shit.”
I nod slowly, processing his words. “I know she’s been working hard. She’s more determined than anyone I’ve ever seen.”
Torin’s grin widens. “Well, here’s the thing. I think you should help her figure out how to use those powers of hers. It’ll be good for her. And for you. And for... all of us.”
I stare at him for a second, confused. “How do you expect me to help her with her magic? You know I don’t have the answers for that.”
“True,” Torin admits with a half-shrug, his eyes gleaming with that mischievous spark. “But Finn would be the one who knows. He’s the magic guy in the family. He probably knows a lot more about what she is than he's letting on and could help her harness it.”
I lean back against the wall, letting the thought marinate. “Yeah, I’m aware. Finn’s always been the one with the knowledge, the skills. But he's never going to volunteer to work with her.”
Torin lets out a low laugh, a sound that’s just a little too satisfied. “Well, that’s where you come in, Kael. You tell Finn to do it. If you tell him, he’ll do it. He listens to you more than he likes to admit.”
I glance at him, surprised. “You think I can just tell Finn to teach Sable? You really think he’s gonna listen?”
Torin looks at me like I’m the one being slow on the uptake. “Absolutely. You’ve got a way of making people listen, even if they pretend not to. So get Finn to teach her, and maybe you can stick around too. You know, make it a group effort. It’ll be good for all of us.”
I pause for a moment, chewing over the idea. Sable’s been through so much already, and if she really wants to learn how to use her powers, I should make sure she gets the best guidance possible. Not to mention turning her into someone that doesn't kill our kind but rather takes out traitors like Rothgar might not be such a bad deal. Maybe I can find a way to patch things up, to make things better between us, before the Trials.
I nod slowly, finally giving in. “Alright. I’ll talk to Finn. But only because you’re making me.”
Torin’s smirk widens, but there’s something else in his eyes now. Something deeper, like he knows more than he’s letting on.
“I’m proud of you, Kael,” he says softly. “You’re finally starting to get it.”
I scowl, the words hanging in the air between us. “Don’t get all sentimental on me, Torin.”
He laughs and pats me on the back, hard enough to almost knock me over. “I’m serious. You’re not the asshole you pretend to be. You just have to let go of the past long enough to see it.”
I nod, finally standing from my chair and stretching. “Yeah, well... I’ll figure it out.”
Torin steps back, his hands up in mock surrender. “Good. She might be the one who actually teaches you how to be human again.”
I chuckle, watching Torin with a grin that’s equal parts admiration and disbelief. “So what’s next, then, Torin? You the peacemaker now? Solving everyone’s problems and shit?”
Torin grins back at me, his usual cocky swagger never faltering. “Well, someone has to step up,” he says, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m getting tired of watching you two bumble around. Besides, someone has to teach you how to not be a complete idiot when it comes to... well, her .”
I raise an eyebrow, leaning against the doorframe. “Peacemaker, huh? I guess you’re really embracing that role.”
Torin shrugs, unbothered. “Yeah, sure. But I’ve had about enough of it. This whole peace and emotionally healthy shit is starting to make me sick.” He grins darkly, cracking his knuckles as if the simple action is already starting to itch under his skin. “I’m about to go kill something just to feel alive again. This is a sign I’m losing it, Kael. I can’t wait for the Trials to resume.”
I can’t help but laugh. “You? Losing it? If anyone needs to get out of their own head, it’s you. Don’t get too soft on me, Torin. You know we’ll both be out there killing everything that moves in the Trials.”
“Damn right,” Torin says, his grin widening as he turns to the door, ready to leave. “The only thing I’ll be soft on is the damn fight itself. But once that bell rings? I’m going to tear it all down.”
As he heads out, I watch him go, his confidence and reckless energy filling the air like a spark just waiting for a fuse. There's something about the promise of the Trials that pulls me in too. A part of me needs it—the action, the chaos. Nothing else feels real when we're not fighting.
I shake my head, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. He’s a madman, but at least we’re in this together.