23. Theos
Chapter 23
Theos
“ I s Kalix not here?”
I unfold my arms and turn to greet the speaker of that question. Ruen looks a little worse for wear with his hair in disarray and his eyes sunken in a bit with shadows that have been growing for weeks creating a permanent place for themselves beneath the sockets.
“No,” I answer. “What’s wrong with you?”
Ruen waves off my concern as he has each time I’ve asked. I frown but don’t push. If he doesn’t get better soon, though, I’m going to have to push. Whatever is eating at him can’t be good.
Together, we turn back to the sandy area of the arena where several Mortal Gods are locked into mock battles in their own circles. Axlan isn’t here today. It happens on occasion, the Gods forget that they have duties and classes to attend to here, and they simply don’t show up. Had this been any other class, everyone would have simply gone on their way and enjoyed the free afternoon. This isn’t just any other class. This is battle training and everyone knows that keeping up with this is more of a means of survival than actual education.
Enid is doing well and I’m glad I recommended her for advancement all those months ago. Even if it’d put her in danger, she’s more challenged here and her skills are improving quickly. I watch her duck and weave out of the reach of her attacker, using her much smaller body to circle him and then leap onto his back. Her forearm encircles his throat as she chokes him out. His face begins to turn a splotchy red.
“What about Kiera?”
I pull my attention away from Enid to face Ruen. With a frown, I scan the rest of the arena. “She should be here,” I say. “She wasn’t with you?”
Ruen shakes his head. “No, Caedmon pulled her out of the last class for more of her private sessions with him.”
I frown. “He normally waits until all of her classes are finished for the day,” I comment.
“I know.” Ruen nods. “Which is why I find it odd.”
The sound of flesh hitting flesh echoes into the air around us followed by grunts and curses. Ruen glances back to the other Mortal Gods, eyes scanning them. My attention goes to my brother, from the shallow bruises beneath his eyes and the haunted look in his gaze down to his hands. My sharp inhalation has his head turning quickly back in my direction.
When he notes the direction of my stare, he snaps his hand back as if he can hide what I’ve already seen. Anger flares bright within me and I grab ahold of his arm, dragging him further from the others and turning my back on them as I lower my voice.
“Tell me you didn’t,” I hiss out the words, each one coated in the rage that’s currently spearing through my insides.
Ruen doesn’t answer but that’s answer enough.
“You said you’d gotten better,” I growl. “That you stopped.”
“I did.” He won’t meet my eyes.
Fire sparks at my fingertips, white gold light flaring brightly against my palm. I release Ruen and close my hands into fists, stifling the lightning that threatens to spill forth.
“How long?”
He doesn’t need clarification. He knows what I’m asking. Without looking at me still, Ruen answers, his voice quiet. “Since seeing Azai.” The words are tinged with shame and I want to scream at him that he should be ashamed.
All these years … all this time…
Rash words full of hurt and anger hang precariously on the tip of my tongue. They cling to my teeth as I grind them together. Instead of giving them a voice, I scrub a hand down my face, pulling at the skin.
“I want the fucking blade,” I say.
Ruen doesn’t even argue. He has no right to. He merely nods. It’s rare, after all, when our roles reverse like this. I am not the level headed one. He is. Usually.
“If it’s not in my room by the end of the day, I will personally rip apart yours until I find every single one of them,” I grit out.
Dark eyes that appear even darker in the sunken features of his face meet mine. “There’s only one,” he says.
But he can always get more. It’s dangerous but possible. After all, the mere fact that Ruen has yet another brimstone blade in his possession when I took and disposed of his last one should be evidence enough that if he wants to retrieve another, he will.
I jerk my chin to the end of the field. “Go,” I snap. “You’re likely in no fucking position to be training today. Contact Maeryn and see if?—”
“No.” Ruen stops me.
I arch a brow and wait.
“I don’t want anyone to know,” he says. “I’ll take care of it myself.”
My upper lip curls back and I turn, grabbing ahold of him once more. The two of us spin until I slam his spine into the nearest wall surrounding the arena. I sense several eyes upon us, but I ignore them as I get up in his face.
“Your ‘taking care of it’ has left you like this,” I snarl at him. I grab ahold of one of his arms and lift it, reaching with my other hand to yank back the sleeve of his nearly skin tight tunic. Freshly scabbed over cuts greet me on top of old ones.
Bile threatens to come up my throat. “Kalix and I rely on you,” I snap as he yanks his arm away and jerks the tunic sleeve back into place. “We listen to you. You owe me the same Gods damned courtesy when you’re being a fucking idiot.”
Ruen’s expression goes blank. He stares back at me and my stomach rolls.
I have to force the next words out without puking. “ Go. To. Maeryn. ” The order is an angry, pain-filled plea. “You don’t even have to tell her to heal you herself. She’ll have herbs that will expedite the process.” I release him and step back. He still doesn’t move. His eyes are empty, devoid of life, of anything but shame and resignation.
“You can’t break on us, Ruen,” I tell him. “Not now.”
Not ever.