Chapter Thirty #2
Dani’s voice cuts across the small space, and I turn to see her standing in the doorway with Kelda beside her, holding the Ember creature in her arms. It’s nestling its little black nose against her neck, looking sleepy, and Kelda’s hands are latched tightly around it.
Tears shimmer in the corners of her hazel eyes, and she blinks furiously, trying to push them back.
Dani glares at me, her jaw clenched tight. “We need a real plan to get you two out of here and hide you somewhere safe. Not some bullshit notion of hunting down a place that doesn’t physically exist.”
“We don’t know for sure that it doesn’t.” I sit down across from Orion and put a hand on the Aaldenberg knot. It still hums a little beneath my fingertips, even now that it’s open. “And if it does … then I think I can find it.”
Orion sits forward, eyebrows raised. “I’m sorry, you can what now?”
“The song that I used to open this,” I say, slowly tracing the symbols on the outside. “I hear it all the time, and it … pulls at me. Always in the same direction. I think all we have to do is follow it, and it’ll lead us to the Gate of Heaven.”
Orion holds my gaze for a long moment and then sits back in his chair again, staring off into a middle distance as he rubs his knuckles along his jaw, turning over everything I just said.
“That actually makes a lot of sense. Elsje Aaldenberg had a little brother who was a saint, and it was his childhood drawings that inspired her theory about the Aaldenberg knots. She left behind writings talking about it, and in them, I remember she mentions that her brother used to hum a song all the time and turned in the same direction every time he did it.”
“North and east,” I say. It’s not a question. I know I’m right before Orion nods.
“Exactly.” He exhales a shaky breath. “Shit, you might be onto something here, V.”
“Onto what?” Dani seethes. “I’m not hearing a plan here.”
Orion holds my gaze, and for a second, I’m a little breathless because we used to look at each other this way when we were younger. Connected on a wavelength that was ours alone, where the soft beauty of his face was my only true fixed point.
“We find the Gate,” he says softly, speaking for both of us. “We dig up whatever secrets they have there. And one way or another, we make sure the Archangels can’t snatch up any saint ever again.”
Not ever. I’ve been playing a game against death for half my life, acting like if I struck first and hard enough, if I ran fast enough, I’d be able to keep all of us safe.
But I was never going to win a game like that.
I want Kelda to have a life free of these shadows.
I want to be the last saint born who has to watch the skies in fear.
And that only happens if I stop hiding and face what I am head-on.
I’m going to change things for the better. Like Halle would.
“Why can’t we just run away?”
I glance over at Kelda, who’s still standing just inside the doorway.
Ember is trying to wriggle its way around the back of her neck, and Kelda patiently plucks the little creature off her shoulders and re-situates it, cradled against her chest. There’s so much going on in Kelda’s expression all at once—grief, worry, fear.
After everything she’s been through, she’s still trying to be so brave.
I want to be honest with her, lay everything on the table, but it’s not as simple as that.
So I give her as much of the truth that I can.
“We could,” I admit. “I want to. But there are Archangels everywhere. My face has been blasted all over Trinity. Wherever we go, they’re eventually going to find us. And next time they do, it could be you who gets hurt.”
I can hear the tremble in her body as she takes a deep breath. “I’m coming with you, then.”
“No.” Pushing up from my chair, I go over to her, taking her face in my hands. “No, you should stay here with Atlas and Liren and Mira and Garian. They’ll be able to keep you safe.”
She frowns up at me, so serious, looking so much older all of a sudden. Her hands grip Ember like a warm, breathing lifeline. “You’re not going without me. I don’t want to be left behind again.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Everyone leaves.” Her voice isn’t much more than a choked whisper. “Papa. Mama. Halle. They go and I’m left here, and I’m just really tired. I don’t want to do it anymore.”
I could argue. I could put my foot down.
But I don’t know what’s going to happen to me at the end of this road, and selfishly, I don’t want to say goodbye to my littlest sister just yet.
So I wrap my arms around her shoulders, careful not to squish the troublesome critter in her arms, and drop a kiss on the top of her head.
“Okay. You win, smalls. You can come.” For a little while, at least.
I glance over at Dani, whose scowl has only gotten deeper.
“This is a stupid plan,” she snaps.
“Are you saying that because you really think it is? Or because I haven’t asked you to come yet?”
“Both.”
Letting go of Kelda, I step in front of Dani.
It’s so disorienting to look into her eyes, to feel that thread that tugs me toward Orion tug me toward Dani, too.
My feelings for her and about her have swung so wildly back and forth over the last several days, but she’s still here, when she doesn’t have to be.
And that earns her the one true thing I can admit right now:
“I could use your help. Looking out for everyone.”
Her scowl softens a little, and she pokes me hard in the chest. “Fine. But you owe me infinite favors after this. There will never be an end to what you owe me.”
I turn back to Orion, who has his face buried in his hands, like he’s trying to hide from what comes next. “What do you think, O?”
He lets out a sigh so heavy he’s in danger of blowing a wall down. “Atlas is going to hate this.”
Atlas stares at us, his hands pressed flat against the tabletop. “You’re going to do what now?”
I stand just inside the kitchen, my rucksack already secured across my back, my arm around Kelda’s shoulders.
Dani leans against the doorjamb on my left.
Liren sits on one side of Atlas. On the other side, Orion has items from his thievery kit scattered all over the table and is sorting through them, muttering under his breath as he decides what to take and what to leave.
“We’re going to find the Gate of Heaven.”
Liren studies me, mild surprise written across their face. “Easier said than done considering we’re not even sure it exists. The Heraldic Ministry could be lying about that entirely. They’ve certainly done it before.”
I stare back at them with a set jaw. “It does. I know it does. The Archangels take the saints somewhere, and I can find it.”
“And then what?” Liren asks.
Then … I’m not sure. I don’t even know what to expect at the Gate if we can get there. But I don’t want to admit that out loud, so I just say, “We’re still working out the details to that part.”
Atlas stands abruptly, looking angry enough to flip the whole table over. He levels a heated glare right at me. “This is ridiculous. You just lost Halle. You’re grieving. You can’t make that go away by getting everyone else killed with some stupid, half-assed plan!”
Prickles of outrage rise all along my spine. “It’s better than running around Trinity, waiting for angels to catch up. It’s not like they’re just going to stop coming after me.”
“Sure, of course, it’ll be much better to save them some time and effort and show up on their doorstep instead.” He rounds on Orion, pointing a finger at his brother’s chest. “And you. You’re even worse. Following clues in some ridiculous box that could be a fake for all you know.”
Orion flicks a hand over at the soft, fluffy form of Ember, curled up and snoring in Kelda’s arms. “You want to explain what that is? Because I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
” He snatches another piece of equipment and aggressively shoves it into his rucksack.
“I’m going, Atlas. You and I both know that something is not right here, and it’s getting worse.
The heat, the storms, and now those weird flares of light …
If there’s even a chance I can get some answers, then I have to at least try. ”
Liren sits very still, watching Dani, who stares right back at them. It’s like a competition of the unbothered. “And you?” they ask. “What about you?”
“You know me,” Dani says with a poison-sweet smile. “I’m just such a team player.”
Atlas sinks slowly back into his seat, shaking his head. He looks over at Orion, and the brothers have an entire silent conversation, just in the way that their eyes meet and the minute changes in their expressions.
Finally, Atlas rubs at his eyes wearily. He’s looking at me when he asks, “How would you even know where to go?”
I shift a little on my feet. It still feels strange to talk about this out loud after so long holding it close and secret.
“The song the prophets are always humming? I hear it, too. I’ve heard it all my life.
It’s a saint thing, I guess, and it … pulls at me.
If we follow that pull, we’ll find the Gate. I think.”
Liren leans forward, propping their elbows up on the table. “Which direction is it pulling you toward?”
“So far? North and east.”
Liren nods, but their eyes go over to Atlas, waiting, because everyone here seems to know that his final word will hold the most weight.
Atlas is quiet, still frowning deeply, and I know where his head is at because it’s the same place mine would be.
His brother has already risked so much—as the Skywayman, as my friend.
He’s so worried right now that he’ll lose someone else he loves that his bones ache.
Atlas drags his gaze up to mine, and I can see the weight he carries inside it.
When Orion and I were little, he was always there, even if he wasn’t physically with us.
He was a protective shadow cast over us, a safety net, especially after their father was taken away.
Once you become that shadow, you never stop being it.
Not even when the people you watch over are all grown-up.
Not even when they’re gone and there’s no hope of them coming back.
Atlas sighs. “You’ll need to take the carriage.”
I honestly am more shocked than if he just admitted they had a luxury homestead in storage.
Naphtha-powered carriages were developed years and years ago, but they were rare.
Mostly because they’d never quite caught on, so only a finite number were made.
Skyliners were never interested in them because they preferred their airships and homesteads, and most everyone down on the ground couldn’t afford them.
Either because the initial cost was too high or because they couldn’t afford enough naphtha to power one.
“You two have a carriage?” I ask. “Since when?”
“My parents have the carriage, actually,” Liren says. “Found one put out for scrap and fixed it up. That’s one of the reasons why we thought it’d be good to come to Concord. It would give us another option for getting out of town fast.”
“It’d definitely be faster than the mounts.” Orion fidgets with his pile of items and devices, thinking.
Something very small, but bright and painful sparks in the hollow parts of my chest. The sooner we can get there, the sooner I can get to the bottom of this. For myself. For Kelda. Maybe even for any future saints.
Atlas pushes himself away from the table and stands, his preacher medallion swinging against his dark maroon shirt. “We’re going with you.”
Orion looks up sharply. “Wait, really?”
“None of you know how to drive a carriage. You won’t get very far on your own.” He looks down at Liren, who gives him a barely perceptible nod, and then he knocks a fist gently against Orion’s shoulder. “Finish up with your stuff. We leave in half an hour.”