CHAPTER THIRTY
The restaurant deserved all its stars and ratings. The tasting menu was more than Angela imagined, and she had to give Sawyer credit. After they’d worked through their drama, he dined on tiny portions of skillfully considered cuisine without complaint. His eyebrows might’ve risen when he was presented with a single squash blossom drizzled with pureed garlic and pine nuts, and he might’ve swallowed the brioche Wellington with foie gras and tenderloin in a solitary bite. Still, he did so without taking away from her experience.
The meal, the wine, and everything about the night were too good to be true. She floated on air in her gorgeous dress as they walked into the warm summer night. Unlike their time during the walk to the restaurant, he tucked her protectively under his arm, raining attention on her as though she were the center of the universe. Between that kind of focus and the wine, Angela glowed from the inside out.
“Back to the hotel, or do you want to explore?” he asked.
Not many people were walking on the brick sidewalk. Gas streetlamps flickered over the street. Cute shops and closed storefronts lined their path. “Let’s see what there is to see.”
It wasn’t that she wanted to window shop. She just wasn’t ready for the night to end.
They made their way onto a busy street. A more vibrant nightlife beckoned as they neared the town hall. Horse-drawn carts waited to give rides to tourists. A woman surrounded by drums held a few people’s attention as she sang and danced. Food trucks lined the street across from a square centered around lighted fountains. Mouthwatering aromas floated in the air. If those scents called to her, then Sawyer was probably dying. “Are you hungry?”
He chortled. “I mean, how could I be after twelve plates of food?”
She laughed.
“There wasn’t even a breadbasket. Did you notice that?” He kissed the top of her head. “Would it be rude to grab a burger and fries?”
“Not unless you didn’t get me a hot dog too.”
Sawyer scoured the area for where to sit. The many options she saw didn’t pass his muster. One she declined because it would involve her somehow climbing up a stone wall in her evening gown and heels. Finally, he parked her on a granite bench that backed to a stone building and had a decent view of the fountains. In short order, he returned with his food, a hot dog for her, and fries to share.
The twelve tiny plates had been a nice appetizer. She ate the hot dog carefully as he polished off the burger and fries.
There was something comfortable about how they could transition from high-roller dining to fast food and the unhurried life unfolding around them. “Have you ever lived someplace like this?”
“Yup,” he said. “You?”
“No. I mostly lived in the DC suburbs. My dad lived in Pennsylvania, but Mom lived in Northern Virginia. That was home, really. Where did you live that was like this?”
“It was someplace a long time ago…” The raw edge in his voice caught her off guard. “When I was in the Marines.”
She shifted closer.
“You don’t talk about the Marine Corps much.” Or ever. That was fine. Some former members of the military did. Others didn’t. Heartbreaking stories came from war. She’d learned not to ask questions.
Sawyer let out a long breath. “I don’t.”
And it was apparent that wouldn’t change tonight. “Where did you live?”
“Annapolis.” His thousand-yard stare lost its focus far beyond the fountains. “I lived in a little house there. Had a nice little life going for me…” He rubbed a hand over his face and then shifted his complete attention toward her. “I was married, Angela.”
Her eyes widened. Of all the confessions he might make, that one wasn’t on a mile-long list. Her lips parted, but nothing came out.
“I married my high school girlfriend.” His jaw ticked in an almost painful, completely heartbroken way. “Her name was Penny, and we were married.” The past clouded his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “And she was pregnant with my son. I lost them both during childbirth.”
Immediately, tears welled in her eyes. “Sawyer…”
He swallowed hard. “It was a long time ago. I was young.” Sawyer hoarsely whispered, “So damn young.”
Angela laid her hand over his. How did the food truck vendors, singers, and passersby continue as though life was normal when his pain was palpable enough to shake the streets? “I am so sorry.”
He turned his palm upward and laced his fingers with hers. The fountains danced. Light caught the spray as it shot up and fell, splashing with an even pattern.
“Did you have a name for your son?” she asked, not sure if she should. Sawyer had decided to tell her his story, but it didn’t feel as if he were finished.
“William Gregory.”
Pain squeezed her throat; she squeezed his hand. “I like that.”
“It’s a good name,” he said. “A strong name. My kid fought like hell. They both did.” Sawyer licked his lips. “Medical negligence. Malpractice. That’s what they call it when the doctor screws up.”
My kid. Now Angela understood. His earlier words replayed in her mind. If I could give you all of me, I would in a heartbeat, but I don’t know how. Sawyer didn’t do long-term relationships because he had before and gone through hell. She wouldn’t fault him for self-preservation.
“I’m not stuck in the past, Ange.” He rolled his bottom lip into his mouth. “I’m not carrying a torch for Penny. It’s been more than a decade since they passed. But the idea of hurting like that again…” He cleared his throat. “I told you earlier, I haven’t been pretending. I’m giving you as much as I’ve got left.”
Pretending had been such an awful lie. She couldn’t even imagine how it seemed okay to say. She’d been guarding her barely wounded heart when he’d lived through hell.
Sawyer stood up and pulled her onto her feet. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a long, lingering kiss to the top of her head. “Now that I’ve saddled you with that—”
“Don’t.” She shook her head and then rested her chin against his sternum. “You can share with me; it will never be a burden.”
“All right. Understood.” The corners of his mouth lifted as though he was tired enough to sleep for a hundred years. “Are you ready to walk back?”
“Only if you are.”
His eyes closed. Sawyer hugged her tight again and then took her hand. Together, they retraced their steps past the food trucks and street performers. It took walking a block, maybe two, before the heavy hold of the past dissipated.
A light breeze skimmed over her shoulders. The wind was cool and clean. Life was ever-changing. A kaleidoscope. Their history would always be part of them. She couldn’t forget her years in Pham’s captivity. Sawyer couldn’t forget his first love and son. Experience colored their path now, and she understood that more now that he’d opened up.
They arrived on their floor. Sawyer walked her to her door. “This was an amazing night,” she said.
“It had its ups and downs.” He chuckled. “Do you still want our…” Sawyer gestured between them. “Situation to continue after everything tonight?”
How could he even ask? She would have as much of him as he could give. No matter that heartbreak was looming, no matter what the logical part of her brain said, she needed to be with him. “Yes. You?”
“I can’t give you everything you deserve.”
Angela ran her fingers along the front of his suit jacket. “You give me more than enough.” She tugged on his lapels as she had before they’d gone to dinner. “Is this when I invite you in?”
The corners of his lips flashed. “I would never say no.”
She reached for the key card in her purse, but he paused her. Sawyer moved her toward his door and placed his arm above her shoulders, caging her under his hard chest. He feathered kisses from her cheek to her ear. “Spend the night with me, Angela. I need you in my bed.”
The soft tickle of his breath morphed her already spaghetti-like legs into Jello. Sawyer’s lips found hers, and without missing a beat, he let the two of them into his hotel room.
Only the desk lamp illuminated the tidy room. His bed was made, and there was no evidence he’d been in the room before now. He shucked off his jacket and loosened his collar. “Turn around.”
He found the clasp of her dress at the nape of her neck then slowly slid the zipper to the swell of her ass. The beautiful velvet dress piled onto the floor. Just like earlier, he twirled her around. His fiery eyes drank every inch of her in the silky strapless bra and underwear, which matched the deep green of her dress. She had flaws that he didn’t seem to see.
“I don’t know what I was thinking.” He tugged her close. “I knew exactly what was under that dress but didn’t throw you over my shoulder and run back to this room after dinner.”
A flush burned from her cheeks to her chest. “You were hungry.”
“There are many kinds of hunger.”
She reached for his shirt and unfastened the buttons then pushed it off his broad shoulders. “We’re here now. What are you going to do about it?”
He stripped to the well-fitted boxer briefs that curved over his sculpted ass and hugged his powerful thighs. His erection bulged behind the dark fabric. Sawyer lifted her into his arms and placed her on the bed. Shoes and all.
Carefully, he removed Angela’s undergarments until she lay naked, buzzing under his touch. The closer they came, the less oxygen they had to breathe. Longing twisted her insides. She craved Sawyer in a way that defied logic.
Sawyer tossed her shoes over his shoulder and lifted her ankle to his lips. The kiss seared her skin. This was so different than before dinner, when they’d been hot enough to spark a fire. Sawyer was taking his time with a slow-burn torture. His tongue snaked up the inside of her calf and teased upward until he nuzzled between her legs. The kisses continued rising, dusting over her belly, teasing the swell of her breasts, and caressing her nipples. He nibbled and murmured inaudible sweet nothings that sent her sky-high until his powerful body carefully covered hers.
Angela’s eyes were closed. She soaked in sensation after sensation. Anticipation edged her close to losing her mind. “You are killing me.”
His smile blossomed against her neck. “Good.” Sawyer rolled to her side and urged her thighs apart. His fingers danced over her folds as his lips hovered just behind her ear. Breathy kisses made her squirm. “That’s my plan, sweetheart.”
His fingertips caressed her sensitive skin. Her delicate flesh was still tender from earlier, but arousal was quick to come. Sawyer touched her gently until a quaking tremble started deep inside her core. The intensity was almost too much.
“Easy, Ange,” he whispered against her temple. “Relax for me.”
Relaxing wasn’t in the cards. Her hips wriggled. She needed more but didn’t know that she could take it. God, she wanted it. Wanted him. “Sawyer, please.”
“I’ve got you.”
Angela arched. She couldn’t escape from the desperate, rising climax brought on by his fingertip strumming her clit. He took her mouth in a kiss and growled for her to climax. It was as though he needed her to come as much as she needed to.
The understanding threw Angela into delirium, and her body convulsed. His name fell from her lips. She would never have enough.
Angela pulled him to her. She loved everything about them. How gentleness became cataclysmic and friendship became fire. “I need you. Now.”
He smiled into a kiss. “Anything you say.”
Sawyer slid on their protection and returned to her arms. His hungry mouth took hers again. Their tongues danced. His rigid cock pressed to her entrance, and she writhed for the pressure of him sliding into her tenderness. “Please.”
He was careful as he eased inside. Sore but desperate for him to fill her, Angela angled for more as he delivered breathtakingly perfect thrusts. She cried for more. He loved her harder. Her nails bit into his back. His hips pinned her in place. She gasped and kissed and begged. Sawyer’s full length was seated deep inside her, and he held her in place.
“Damn it, sweetheart,” he whispered against her neck. “You are everything to me.”
Emotion caught in her throat. Tears burned behind her eyes. Sawyer caged her against the pillows with such intensity and ferocity that she never wanted to leave his bed again. Their foreheads touched. His eyes squeezed shut. He was the most beautiful, giving man she’d ever known.
Then his eyes opened and showed the depths of his soul. Sawyer held her gaze, and they made love. He rocked into her again and again. Satisfaction pummeled her in a way she hadn’t known could exist. She’d never been so cared for, so possessed, so absolutely well fucked within an inch of her life.
One of his hands laced itself with hers. He pinned it above her head. His shaft pumped into her, reigniting a frenzy. She had no more to give but climaxed again, and as she did, he stiffened, straining with an orgasm. Her name fell from his lips.
She was so in love…
Sawyer collapsed against her, gasping for breath. She never wanted to let him go. But his heavy weight was stolen away as he rolled onto his side. Sweet, sated kisses feathered her forehead and into her mussed hair. He gathered Angela to his chest. His racing heart slowed in beat with hers.
One thing was certain. For the rest of her life, she would never forget this man or this night.