Chapter 31 #2
“It is thanks in part to your Majesty’s warning that I am here,” Kate told her, “for if you had not alerted us to the danger we faced in Basel, God alone knows where we might be now.”
“Well, you are here, and I am glad to have been of service,” Elizabeth said. “And I never want to be parted from you again. You mean everything to me.”
Gratified as she was to have been afforded such a warm welcome and reassured that her cousin’s love for her had not diminished, Kate felt a tremor of unease.
Elizabeth was Queen now; her word, nay, her every wish, was law, and not to be gainsaid.
How would she herself ever make it clear to her that she did not want to be always at court, and that she had a life of her own and a family who needed her?
“I hope you are pleased to be serving me as a Lady of the Privy Chamber,” Elizabeth said.
“I am overwhelmed to have been so honored,” Kate said. “I cannot thank your Majesty enough.”
“You are one of only four such ladies.” The Queen beckoned to the others, who rose and embraced Kate. “Kat you know, of course. She is Chief Gentlewoman of the Privy Chamber and my new Mistress of the Maids.”
“It is so good to see you, Kate.” Kat dimpled, looking plumper and more rosy-cheeked than ever. Kate hugged her again, aware that Kat now outranked her, although, knowing the woman as she did, she could not imagine her throwing her weight about.
“You’ll remember Blanche,” Elizabeth continued, prodding forward a homely body in a black gown and hood.
Blanche Parry was the Queen’s old nurse, who had taught her Welsh, her native language.
“And this is Lady Carew, who gave me such stout support after Wyatt’s rebellion, when I was under suspicion.
” The hazel-haired lady dipped a bob, smiling.
“Your duties, Kate, will include looking after gifts given to me and my pet parrot and monkey. Above all, I have chosen you four because, of all those who were clamoring for places, you are the only ones I want as my daily companions. Dearest Kate, I am determined that, having lost you once, I will never let you leave my side again.”
Kate blenched inwardly, hearing this again. What did it mean? Was she to take it literally? No, surely not!
She could not leave it at that. “Your Majesty’s affection and favor mean the world to me,” she said. “I will be happy to serve you and give you all the time I have, aside from that I will need to spend attending to the needs of my beloved husband and our children.”
There was an awkward silence. Elizabeth was frowning.
“Kate, dear cousin, I do not think you can be aware of the magnitude of the signal honor I have bestowed on you. Your husband serves me here at court and he has been assigned one of the largest lodgings I have at my disposal. You surely have nurses and tutors to care for your children? It does not seem to be a problem for my other ladies.”
Kate hesitated. How could she tell Elizabeth, who had always said she had no desire for marriage and children, how deeply she loved hers? She would never understand.
“They do have nurses and tutors, your Majesty, but they love their mother much more and hate to be separated from her.”
It was the wrong thing to say to a woman who had been separated from her own mother in the cruelest way imaginable. “Are my needs not greater?” Elizabeth demanded to know. “You said you would always love me, that I would come first with you.”
But that, Kate forbore to point out, had been long years ago, when they were very young.
Aware that she was denying her most visceral instincts, she forced herself to smile. “I will always be here when your Majesty needs me.”
Elizabeth’s good humor was instantly restored. “Your love is the most precious thing in the world to me,” she declared. “I love you above all other women in the world.”
Kate had a sinking feeling that the burden of that love would prove very heavy indeed.
—
Kat led Kate to the lodging they were to share. It was near the Queen’s own bedchamber and magnificently appointed, with two large rooms and their own privy. “I hope you’ll be comfortable here,” she said.
“I am sure I will,” Kate assured her, eyeing the wide tester bed with its plump bolster and scarlet velvet counterpane.
She laid her cloak across the carved chest at its foot and poured water from the ewer into a silver basin, then splashed her face with it.
She felt weary at the prospect of her future—and trapped.
This was not what she had envisaged at all.
“It is the Queen’s pleasure that her ladies wear black or white,” Kate said. “Then she herself can stand out all the more in her rich gowns.”
“I have plenty of black and white clothing,” Kate said. “I have very little in other colors.”
“Good. And the Queen has granted you some items from the Royal Wardrobe,” Kat told her, pointing to two black velvet gowns hanging on pegs attached to the wall. Most women would have killed for such tokens of favor.
“We ladies all dine together in the Great Chamber. We have a table reserved exclusively for our use. Her Majesty takes dinner and supper with eight of her women, so when summoned, we eat with her. We take it in turns to sleep on the pallet bed in her bedchamber.”
Kat sank down on a stool. “I can see that you are unhappy about having to live at court. The Queen is a possessive mistress, and selfish. It is what comes of being at the center of attention all her life. She cannot comprehend that her ladies have lives of their own. She has made it clear that she does not approve of her maids marrying, even though it is her duty to find them husbands. She lectures them frequently on the subject.”
“She has always resented Francis,” Kate confided. “She has hardly ever uttered his name.”
“Yet she has advanced him handsomely, and probably for your sake.”
“But what good will all this preferment do us if we never see each other, never spend time with our children?” Kate cried, and burst into tears. “If my husband has a double lodging, I should be staying with him, not here or with the Queen!”
Kat looked at her sadly. “My husband is Master of the Jewel House, yet I hardly ever see him, even though he too is at court.”
“It was not for this that I came home,” Kate wept.
“I suppose we should think ourselves lucky,” Kat reflected, patting her hand.
“Her Majesty dismissed all the late Queen’s Catholic ladies and replaced them with women like us who have reformist sympathies.
There was fierce competition for places, I tell you!
Be grateful that some of your kinswomen are here: your daughter Lettice is a maid-of-honor alongside your nieces, Katherine and Philadelphia Carey.
Your sister-in-law, Mistress Carey, is a lady-in-waiting. ”
“And I long to see them, especially my daughter,” Kate cried. “Yet I want us all to be at Greys Court together, not here.”
Kat rose. “Until you stop yearning for that, my dear, your life will be a misery. Make time to see your husband when you can. And be grateful that, among all the noble ladies here, you have earned Lady Fortune’s grace, for you are in high favor with our noble Queen, who holds you in the greatest esteem.
That is a blessing not to be sniffed at. ”
—
But it was a blessing she did not want, Kate agonized, as she went in search of her daughter.
She found the maids where Kat had directed her, playing tag in the privy garden, so bundled up in furs against the January cold that they looked like bears.
Then one turned and saw her, and she found herself looking into the face of Lettice—a Lettice grown older and more beautiful than she could ever have dreamed.
Her little babe was exquisite: slanted, almond eyes, fair skin, and full lips of cherry red; copper curls were escaping from her hood.
“Mother!” she cried, and flung her arms around Kate. “They said you might arrive today! I can’t believe you’re here.”
Then they were hugging and kissing and laughing all at once, only—joy of joys—to be joined by Mary, here at court in the train of the Duchess of Suffolk, who had returned to England as soon as she heard of the Queen’s accession, and Kate’s nieces, narrow-faced replicas of her brother, both now serving the Queen despite their youth.
As she stood chatting with her daughters, Kate watched her nieces romping excitedly.
They were like boisterous colts, bounding and skipping about, with no care to the decorum required of them.
But when Kat appeared, she merely cast an indulgent eye on them and smiled.
“As long as they behave when they’re with the Queen, I let them enjoy being children,” she murmured to Kate.
Kate withdrew with her daughters to an arbor in a sheltered corner.
“Are you happy?” she asked.
“Oh, yes,” Lettice replied, “especially now that you’re here.”
—
After a glorious hour spent catching up on news and drinking in the sight of her girls, here in the flesh and so, so beautiful, Kate parted from them and went to find Francis.
He had sent her a note detailing the location of his lodging and she found it easily, but it was deserted.
He must be busy at his duties. She could not linger, as the Queen might need her, so she hurried back to the royal apartments, promising herself that she would return later.
But no. After supper, which was served with great ceremony in the privy chamber, Elizabeth smiled at Kate.
“Attend me in my closet, dearest cousin. We have much time to make up.”
Frustrated at being kept apart from Francis, Kate followed the Queen into a small room hung with rich tapestries. A Turkish carpet covered the floor and a fire burned merrily in the hearth. Elizabeth indicated that Kate should take the chair opposite hers.
“Your Majesty is too kind,” Kate murmured.
“Not ‘your Majesty’ while we are alone, dear cousin. Call me Bess,” Elizabeth bade her. “We are kin, are we not?”