Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
BEFORE
Four years. It had been four years of passing glances and lingering stares.
Adriel and Krysta made it impossible for Helaina to see Dolion alone. He had stayed on as permanent staff, but the protectiveness of her siblings didn’t fade in all that time. When they were gone, her guards only permitted her in the stables to saddle Elsie and swiftly exit for her daily ride.
Even without a single word spoken between them, the yearning in his eyes said it all, and it only intensified as she aged.
Helaina had had enough. She didn’t want to wonder anymore if she was imagining his feelings or if they were truly there. She was a woman now. She saw how Dolion looked at her, and she had to know.
The first time she proposed the idea to meet in secret, she had left a note.
It didn’t say much, just a location, near the tree line by the woods that stretched to the north side of the grounds.
The benefit of being under constant guard was knowing the exact routine of the soldiers and their perimeter checks.
She knew that clearing would be unoccupied at night.
She and Laurelai looked similar enough. Long hair, same height and shape.
While the castle slept, she dressed Laurelai in her own nightgown and snuck out the emergency tunnels, leaving her handmaiden tucked under her covers in case the guards came in to check.
At first it was terrifying, disobeying like this. But the fear turned to an absolute thrill the moment she cleared the tunnels, coming out just under the bridge near the gates.
She knew this could cost her if she got caught. Still, she had to see him—had to talk to him again. It had been far too long appreciating him from afar.
Then the self-doubt consumed her. What if he didn’t show? What if her interpretations of the brief passing moments were wrong?
It was too late to go back. She stood there near the tree line, waiting—hoping. She fussed over her appearance, ensuring her fishtail braid was perfect.
It seemed like hours passed into the night, as she waited, gazing at the lit towers in the distance.
Hands clasped over her eyes. Everything went dark. Her whole body tensed from fright.
“I was starting to think you didn’t want to speak to me ever again,” Dolion said.
He came.
She turned to face him. He looked so pleased to see her.
“Of course I’ve wanted to talk to you.” She wiped her sweaty palms on her summer dress. She didn’t know if it was her breaking the rules tonight or his presence that made her so nervous. It was most likely both.
“Then why don’t you? It’s been years, and you haven’t even uttered my name.”
She tried her best to explain, to tell him how things were for her here, but even she didn’t understand it fully.
“I see . . . I figured your brother and sister didn’t like me much. I just didn’t think they would prevent you from speaking to me altogether.”
The silence turned a bit awkward after that.
“I . . . I think I need to get back,” Helaina stuttered.
His lips turned downward in disappointment. “Already? Can I see you again like this?”
Her heart fluttered at his question. “I can try.”
“Every week? I’ll stay late and meet you here every week at this spot.”
She nodded emphatically, agreeing, even though her gut groaned from the understanding that she would have to break the rules over and over.
“I almost forgot, I have something for you, I’ve kept it a long time. Close your eyes, and hold out your hands,” Dolion whispered softly.
She obeyed as her lips upturned in the slightest grin. This meeting was everything she’d hoped for.
She felt the release of his hands as something small and round materialized in her palm.
“Okay, you can open them.” She let her eyelids rise and witnessed the man before her staring down with excited expectation.
She followed his gaze to her hands, where a small bracelet lay. The beads were made of silver, strung together to a size perfect for her wrist.
“Dolion, it’s beautiful.”
He reached out to fasten it on her. “I made it for you a while back. The silver reminded me of your eyes. Though I don’t think any metal can mimic that unforgettable shine.”
She hadn’t heard a compliment like that in ages. No one talked about her eyes anymore.
“It’s lovely, I—I don’t know what to say. I’ll wear it always.”
He looked at her other wrist, where the blue gems lay.
“I feel mine fails in comparison to that piece. Who gave it to you? Another suitor, perhaps?” He arched his brow playfully.
She nearly snorted but refrained, trying to make her reaction more subtle. “No, nothing like that. It was a gift from my brother.”
He looked curiously at the jewels. “All these years, I can’t think of a time I’ve seen you without it. Will there be a day in the future you would wear mine . . . and only mine?”
She winced, not wanting to insult him but remembering the promise to her brother so long ago. Dolion was right, though, his silver could not compete with the gleaming crystal dewdrops.
“Can I not wear both?”
“You can do whatever you like . . . Mine will simply look inadequate by comparison.” He seemed hurt. She understood it must be difficult seeing her jewels, knowing his pay and status could afford only silver.
She clutched the blue stones, not knowing quite what to say. “He’s just . . . He’s gone so often. They all are. I like having a piece of him close when he’s away. He made me promise to keep it safe. I would hate to lose it.” She looked up from her hands and prayed he would understand.
A slight nod of his head. “He’s a great man, Adriel,” he finally responded. “He hates me, but he’s admirable.”
She laughed nervously. She could offer no disagreement. Adriel did hate him; both her siblings did.
Dolion gave her a side-eyed glance, then softly chuckled. “At least I know I’m not competing for your affections.”
She dared to reach out and touch his cheek. The warmth of his skin made her body vibrate. “Don’t tell my brother, but I much prefer the shine of silver over any jewel.”
Dolion smiled and brought his hand up to cup hers. He breathed in her touch.
“I won’t say a word,” he replied.