Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Theo watched Helaina buckle again as she tried to stand. He moved to catch her, but she put her palm out to stop him. She braced her other arm on the cold stone, lifting herself upright.
He found himself standing there, arms outstretched, wanting to touch her. The allure of her skin on his fingertips was more than temptation. It was an obsession.
His hands had caused so much dread and death.
For as long as he could remember, his power had tried to fight its way to the surface.
His trained focus and ability to keep a tight leash on that monster inside were only achieved with years of practice and solitude.
There had been times he had lost that inner battle, hurting those he cared for without intention.
It was why nearly ninety years of self-imposed distance from the world was so necessary, so crucial.
Helaina, however, was different from anyone he’d ever known.
He could feel her immunity every time he brushed her skin.
His power couldn’t reach her, couldn’t hurt her.
There was freedom in touching her, a kind of serenity.
It’s why he continued to get so painfully close at every opportunity.
That intoxicating feeling of freedom, not having to hold back or restrain himself out of concern for consequences.
He was enthralled by it. He was enthralled by her.
It wasn’t just her presence, it was her body.
Now that she was whole again, he couldn’t help but notice her.
Seeing that sweet, supple frame in the bathing chamber was an image he couldn’t shake.
He replayed the memory over and over in his head, imagining tracing the line of her spine all the way down.
He hadn’t been the only one aroused down there. She had felt the same attraction. He saw it in her lingering gaze, smelled it on her scent. She simply loved denying it to vex him; he was sure of it.
He had told Orm she belonged to no one, but that was false. She was for him. He felt it every waking moment she was near. Every time he caught her contradictory scent lingering in the air—longing desire mixed with uncertainty and anticipation—it left him unhinged and wanting.
It had been so long since he’d lain with another. Not since he had tried again with Breyer so many years ago. That had ended fucking terribly.
How had this mortal hypnotized his senses so fully? He was more ancient than anyone under this mountain. Feelings like this shouldn’t exist anymore for him.
Yet here he was.
He had always imagined a partner with power to match his own, one who could survive this life by his side. When he found Helaina, she was so shattered, he thought there was no way that could ever be her, that she could never match his strength.
Tonight had him second-guessing that.
He approached quietly, bringing his hands around her wrist. She jerked her arm away. The low sigh he released was one of disappointment. He couldn’t stand her retreating, not tonight.
He tried to school his features into his best version of sincerity.
“Aaron’s safe now. Come, let’s get you cleaned up.”
She was in shock, that much he knew. He wasn’t sure if it was from performing her little procedure or from Callum’s haunting tale. Her eyes were glassy, and she wasn’t fully there.
“We should stay. What if they need help again? What if . . .” Her voice was detached as she trailed off.
“Let them have time,” Theo said. “Callum will call if he needs us. For now, you are covered in blood and dirt and yet again need a bath in my presence.”
From the look on her face, his attempt at a lighthearted joke was not well received. Did he even remember how to joke or play? He wasn’t sure.
She opened her lips to protest. “But I—”
“Don’t argue this one time, please?”
She pulled her lips tight and hung her head. From agreement or exhaustion, he didn’t know. He made another attempt at enveloping her small hand in his. She yanked it back.
Why did her rejection make his chest seem so achingly empty?
He led the way, hoping she would follow. They passed down the winding corridors until they reached the tunnel of bedchambers. She started toward her own door. He fell back behind her, pressing his hand between her shoulder blades to nudge her forward.
Her brows knit together. “My room is—”
“I know where your room is. I’m taking you to mine.”
Her muscles went taut with apprehension. “Why?”
“I have a bath, and you don’t. It’s early morning, the bathing chamber will be full, even the more private space.” To his surprise, she didn’t fight him.
His room was significantly bigger than the others. After all, if he was going to build this place by hand for nearly a century, he was going to be granted the extra luxuries. His bed was three times the size of hers to accommodate his size.
He could see in her eyes that she was fading. He almost missed her attitude, her ire toward him.
He brought her to his bathing room and delicately palmed her hips. Before she could slink away from his touch, he lifted her to the stone countertop.
She gasped. Everything about her body was so closed off and tense around him. He hated that; he had to correct it.
“May I?” He gestured to her bloodstained attire.
She hesitated, then reluctantly lifted her trembling arms. He removed each piece of iron, then the leathers beneath until all that remained was cotton undergarments.
Her vacant stare made him speak first.
“I shouldn’t have put you out there tonight. I made a mistake, I’m sorry.”
She didn’t respond. Where was the girl who took action back there? When everyone else had accepted defeat, she had found a way. Theo had seen so many of his Divine fall, especially in recent years. He didn’t know how many soldiers he had lost. How many he had replaced.
“I was asleep,” Helaina muttered.
“What?”
“They were fighting, Agatha was dying, and I was asleep. Everyone who gets near me . . . everyone who tries to help me . . .” Her hands dove into her hair, forcefully gripping the sides of her scalp.
“The bracelet . . . I need it back,” she choked out.
Remembering, Theo reached into his pocket and gave her back the blue stones. She hurried to put them on.
“They knew I was here tonight.”
“And you think it’s because you didn’t have this?” He thumbed the outsides of the gems.
“I know it is. You said Elkron is shielded down here. The second I used my full powers aboveground without them . . . something came for me. How else do you explain that?”
Theo hated that fucking bracelet. It was her family’s way to control something they didn’t understand.
“I’m so stupid. I didn’t go back for it. I didn’t think it would matter for one night. I didn’t think . . .”
“Shh,” Theo hushed as he moved in closer. This time she didn’t pull away. He took his opportunity and cupped the back of her head, pulling her into his chest.
She flinched at first. The movement made his stomach turn.
This was his fault. He had been a bastard trying to keep his feelings at bay. Trying to fight a losing battle, distancing himself from her. He had been wrong about so much.
She eventually settled into his body, some of her muscles releasing tension as he cradled her.
“This wasn’t your fault. These attacks have been happening for years. In your kingdom and mine. It was only a matter of time before they got this close.”
She looked up at him. “They spoke to me, they knew my name. They came for me, and now Agatha is dead and Aaron—”
“Is alive because of you,” he finished for her.
Theo didn’t want to think using her power up there had given those that hunted her a signal. He wouldn’t think of what that could mean, nor the path ahead. Not when she was finally accepting his embrace.
She planted her hands on his thin shirt like she was going to push him away.
“I’m so tired. I’m tired of people I care about dying around me . . . dying for me. I’m tired of feeling numb every day I wake up.”
She dug her face into the soft material of his shirt. He breathed in her sweet scent mixed with the carnage staining her skin. Closing his eyes, he savored the feeling of her, fully aware that at any moment the spell could be broken and she could flee from him.
“I’m tired too.” It’s all he could think to say. Even though he knew she wouldn’t fully understand his meaning.
He hadn’t had a true embrace like this in so long. Not since his powers fully manifested, not since his parents. He hadn’t touched someone so thoroughly in thousands of years. The lovers he had taken were always at arm’s length, never anything sensual or passionate.
This . . . this felt essential somehow, it felt destined.
She interrupted his musing with a question he wished she hadn’t had the will to ask.
“Theodon, did they even look for me? When you took me . . . did the guards, or my family, even try to find me?” Her voice was so impassive. Like she already knew the answer and needed to hear the spoken words to confirm its truth.
His chest tightened. His exhale was deeply sorrowful. “Once Manos broke his trance, no one followed on the road that night. None of our scouts have reported activity near the western border.”
Her grip on his shirt slackened a little.
“And it’s Theo,” he added softly, tilting her chin up toward him. Forcing her to keep her head held high.
He felt her heartbeat grow wild as they stood there chest to chest. He locked eyes with the girl who consumed his every conscious thought.
He didn’t dare look away.
“Whatever force is gathering, let them come. I’ve seen what you can do.
Pass your trial and we can conquer any army.
You carry power that can destroy, I feel it when you call upon it.
It’s dark and twisted like mine, but it’s yours.
If you learn to control it, you don’t have to succumb to a destiny riddled with death. ”
His thumb pad massaged the softness under her chin.