Chapter 39
I love you..
Those were the words I heard whispered into my ear as I drifted off into a heavy slumber last night.
Three simple words swirled around in my head before dropping to my stomach to dance with the butterflies that are constantly fluttering around in there whenever I’m around Dean.
I love him too. I’m just not sure how to tell him.
I’ve been in love before, I think. Maybe it wasn’t real love but I know how I feel about Dean and that’s the love that everyone deserves to have.
A person who shows up for you, even when you don’t feel like showing up for yourself.
Someone who will love you even on your darkest days where the sky is always grey in your mind and your scars are on show to the world.
Your home can be a person, and Dean is my home.
The bright sun beams into the room through the gap in the curtains, the white bed sheets seem to glow brighter under the light, the warmth penetrating the thick material.
Squinting my eyes I give myself a minute to get used to the bright intrusion and glide my hand across the mattress finding Dean’s side cold and empty.
My mind immediately puts the sour thoughts in my brain of him having second thoughts of what we did together last night but I quickly send them back on their way, refusing to believe the negative voice in my head.
My core tightens and my skin tingles at the thought of everything we did last night, how willing Dean was to please me, to give me the control I lost. I rub my thighs together to ease the ache but it only causes the tension to grow, making me want to find him and drag him back into this bed and let him have his way with me all over again.
My thoughts are interrupted by a loud sawing noise outside and I pull the cover off of me and climb out of the bed, swiftly grabbing the discarded t-shirt from the floor, slipping it over my head, then making my way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
The noise rings through my ears the closer I get to it, the smell of wood and sawdust hits my nose through the open front door, a cool breeze blowing in.
I pan around the kitchen and living room to see if Lyla is in here but I don’t find her, so I step over the threshold and onto the warm wood of the porch, the heat penetrating my bare feet and follow the sound around to the back of the house.
The warm grass tickles my feet as I walk towards the back garden.
The view of the trees goes on for miles and I’m forced to lift my hand above my eyes to shield them from the burning sun to get a better look at the open space.
In the distance, I notice Lyla running through the grass before diving into the lake at the end of what I can only assume is Dean’s land.
The clear water sparkles under the sun like tiny diamonds and Lyla quickly resurfaces from the water, her soft fur now drenched in water.
She shakes violently, the water spraying high into the air.
I laugh to myself already knowing Dean won’t be impressed when she treads soggy paw prints all over the house.
The deafening sawing stops, speaking of the devil, Dean’s voice shouts out.
“Lyla! C’mon, shake over there will ya!” I follow the noise I love so much and my jaw practically smacks the floor at the view that’s in front of me.
Dean leans over what looks to be a workbench, a circular saw placed in the middle of it.
His bronzed skin glows in the sun, the tattoo’s glistening under a layer of sweat that coats his entire upper body and the muscles in his wide back tense and loosen as he begins to push another plank of wood onto the metal saw, slicing it perfectly in half.
The saw stops automatically the moment the wood has passed through it, then he stands to his full height, all six foot six of him.
I feel my mouth dry and my core pulse at the same time.
Dean lifts his cap and runs a hand through his black hair, pushing it away from his face before placing it back on again.
This man is pure sex and I am nothing but a weak, wet pussied woman.
Lyla’s deep barks break my trance as she comes bounding over to me, her pink tongue flopping around aimlessly and I open my arms to welcome her.
She jumps straight into my embrace and I have to take a step back to stop me from falling straight onto my ass.
“Girl, you are too heavy for this!” I say whilst struggling to carry her.
“Lyla. What are you doing? Get down.” The six foot six, sex god saunters over to us and Lyla immediately jumps out of my arms and flops down onto the grass on her side, her mouth open as she pants in the heat.
Dean closes the gap between us and my eyes instantly fall to the floor, the visions of him fucking me senseless cloud my vision and I know my face is already turning a cherry red colour, and it’s not from the sun.
His hand finds my face as he tips my chin to look at him, my eyes shamelessly washing over his chest to his shoulders then to his face.
Every inch of him is covered in a slick sheen that I’m desperate to run my tongue over and sink my teeth into.
The thought takes me by surprise and I try to discreetly squeeze my legs together but Dean’s forest green eyes snap to my legs and I’m caught in the act. Shit.
“Everything alright mama?” He teases, his thumb brushing against my jaw.
“Yes. I’m fine. Everything is fine.” I say.
Clearly I’m not fucking fine am I, my pussy might as well curl around his legs and start purring!
The traitorous bitch. “Hm. If you say so baby.” He says before leaning down to plant a soft kiss on my lips, the taste of mint and coffee lands on my tongue and I accidentally moan into his mouth, and I feel him grin against my lips before I pull away, folding my arms in front of my chest. Dean’s arm shoots out to grab my shirt and I inwardly flinch, my body’s natural reaction coming to the surface.
He instantly drops his hand before slowly wrapping both his arms around me, crushing my own in between us.
“Shit. I’m sorry baby.” He says softly against my hair, and I press my face into his solid chest, inhaling his signature scent.
“It’s okay. That was my fault.” I murmur into his skin and he pulls back, his hands resting on my upper arms. “No. It wasn’t.
I should know better than to raise my hands like that.
You know I’d never hurt you. I’d rather die before I ever did that.
” He says firmly, my eyes meet his burning gaze and I know he’s serious.
He would rather die than ever lay a hand on me.
I instantly step back into his embrace and place a soft kiss over his heart, the taste of his skin spreading over my lips.
“I know.” I simply say before tipping my head up to look at him, his solid frame blocks out the sun from my face creating a glowing halo around him.
Dropping his head, he presses his lips to my forehead, immediately making me close my eyes at his tenderness.
We stay locked in each other’s embrace for a moment before my curiosity gets the better of me at wanting to know what he’s up to.
“What are you doing out here anyway?” I ask and he spins to look at the workbench before facing me again.
“It’s a surprise, but you’ll find out soon enough.
” My mouth drops and he laughs, a rich deep sound coming straight from his chest. “Don’t give me that face, pretty girl, you’re just going to have to be patient aren’t you.
” He says, a hint of humour in his voice.
I cross my arms again and push out my bottom lip like a spoiled child.
I know I’m being petty and the tick in his jaw is telling me that he quite likes it when I’m being a brat, so I simply proceed.
Dean steps into my orbit again and I stand my ground, my arms still firmly in place, my hip popping out to the side.
Electricity radiates from him and I can feel the burn on my skin as he dips his mouth to my ear.
“Don’t think I won’t spank that perfect ass of yours for being a brat.
” My breath hitches at his threat, a cold shiver running up my spine as my pussy throbs at the thought of him making good on his word.
He quickly kisses the sensitive skin under my ear before pulling back.
“Fancy getting out of here for a bit? Eli invited us to his place for a BBQ with his wife and his two girls.” My happy mood slips for a second, a wariness taking its place at the thought of socialising with other people, especially with the people that Dean loves.
I feel like I would be putting them in instant danger just by being around me, this is why I’ve kept contact to a minimum with Ellie and Patty.
My heart would never survive if I got them into trouble or worse.
I know my husband is out there somewhere just waiting for me to slip up.
He’s already tried once and I know he’ll be back to try again.
He’ll never stop and I constantly feel like I’m living in limbo until he comes to collect, even if that limbo is full of happiness and love.