Chapter 37 Gabriel
Islam the door behind me, my blood boiling as I storm down the hallway. My fists clench and unclench at my sides, itching to punch something, to unleash this fury burning inside me.
"Fuck!" I roar, my voice echoing down the hall.
I replay Anna's words over and over in my mind.
FBI agent.
Pregnant.
Love.
Each revelation is like a knife twisting in my gut.
I come into the kitchen area so fast Lydia jumps, startled by my sudden entrance. She's standing at the counter, a knife in her hand, chopping vegetables.
"Sir?" she asks, her eyes wide with concern. "Is... is everything alright?"
I ignore her question and reach to find my keys. My hands are shaking when I grab them.
I'm not in the right headspace to drive.
Throwing the keys down, I turn to see Lydia again.
"Sir?" Lydia's voice is softer now, worry taking hold. "I thought I heard gunshots."
"The shots went into the ground," I bark and turn away from her. "She's fine."
"Oh, thank God," Lydia breathes, relief evident in her voice. "I was so—"
"She's been lying to me this whole time," I cut her off. "Playing me like a goddamn fool. And now she's carrying my..."
I stop myself. I need to think, to be alone.
"I'm going into the billiard room. No one, and I mean no one, is to disturb me," I demand and leave without waiting for a reply.
I walk so fast toward the room, I'm practically jogging. As I enter, I slam the heavy oak doors behind me.
I lock it with such force I'm surprised it doesn't break.
Staring at the door, I feel the separation of the world out there versus my world in here. I take a few breaths to calm myself, but it hardly works.
I turn, and my eyes sweep over the room with the dark mahogany pool table dominating the center. Ornate brass light fixtures illuminate the shelves lined with books, pictures, and objects from around the world.
In the corner is my temporary salvation. I walk across the room to the bar and reach for a glass and a crystal decanter holding the brown liquid that I hope will allow me to think.
I pour a generous serving, and the amber liquid burns as I down it in one swift motion, barely tasting it. I immediately pour another, my hand surprisingly steady despite the storm of emotions threatening to tear me apart.
A damn FBI agent?
I slam my fist on the bar so hard it hurts and sends a shooting pain up my right arm.
Love? What the fuck does she know about love? She's been playing me this entire time, manipulating her way into my life, into my heart.
I go to take another sip but stop myself as I remember her speaking the word that scares me the most.
Child.
My child.
Growing inside a woman I thought I knew, a woman who turned out to be nothing but a goddamn lie.
I start pacing the room. If Enzo finds out about this... Christ, if he even suspects that she's an FBI agent, he'll have my head. Everything I've built, everything I've sacrificed, gone in an instant.
I stop in front of the pool table, bracing myself against it. I stare at the green felt and try to think rationally, to plan my next move, like I would for any other job. But this isn't just another job, is it? This is my life, my future—everything hangs in the balance.
What are my options?
I could turn on her and inform Enzo, prove my loyalty beyond a shadow of a doubt. But the thought of that, of what he'd either have me do or done to her... to my child... I dig my fingers into the sides of the pool table.
I could run. Take Anna and disappear. But where? How far could we really get before the Bonventis’ reach found us? And even if we did manage to escape, what kind of life would that be, with us always looking over our shoulder?
And then, I could do what needs to be done without Enzo or anyone else ever finding out. Eliminate the threat and tie up the loose end. It's what I've always done, what I'm good at. But to her? Our unborn child? No, no, I can't.
I slump into one of the leather armchairs, my head in my hands. For the first time in years, I feel utterly lost. Everything I thought I knew, everything I believed in, has been turned upside down.
I smile to myself—the irony in all this would be fucking hilarious if it wasn't so goddamn tragic.
What have I become? A man so consumed by possessiveness that he'd murder his own capo before knowing everything about the woman?
And for what? A liar?
Shit, I've crossed lines I never thought I would, all for a woman who's been playing me from the start.
But then I think of the child growing inside her. My child. An innocent life that doesn't deserve to be caught up in this mess.
I've built my life on loyalty to the family, but now I'm questioning everything. But I can't afford to break. Not now. Not when there's so much at stake.
I shake my head when the sudden realization hits me.
I've spent years building walls around myself, never letting anyone get close enough to matter. And now? Now I'm ready to risk everything for a woman who means more to me than I even realized.
But it's not even just about Anna anymore. There's a child to consider as well.
The thought sends something through me that I've never felt. Hope? Pride? I'm not sure, but it's there, right alongside the fear and anger.
Despite everything, despite the lies and the betrayal, I can't deny the truth.
I love her. I fucking love her.
But how can I trust her? How can I be sure this isn't just another part of her act?
I close my eyes, remembering the look in hers when she told me.
The fear, the vulnerability, the raw emotion.
That wasn't something you could fake. Anna or Sofia, or whoever the hell she really is, she came clean knowing full well what I'm capable of.
What I've done to others who've crossed me.
Heck, she's seen me in action that night when Luca brought her.
And yes, she risked everything to tell me her truth.
Shit, is this what love does to a person? Turns them inside out, makes them question everything they thought they knew?
My mind races, trying to find a way out of this labyrinth we've created. On one hand, I have a chance at something I never thought I'd have—a family of my own. On the other, I have the life I've built, the loyalty I've sworn to Enzo and the Bonventi family.
I need a way to have both.
I turn, and my gaze falls on a framed photo on one of the shelves. It's of me and Livia, taken at her college graduation. We're both smiling, her arm around my waist, mine draped over her shoulders. I remember liking it since we looked normal and happy.
What would Livia say if she knew about all this? She's always been the one person who could see past the monster and focus on the good in me.
I'm sure she'd tell me to do the right thing. Not the Bonventi right thing, but the Gabriel right thing, even in this fucked-up situation. She's strong like that.
I take a seat back in the leather chair and vow to myself to find a solution. One that wouldn't just make my sister proud, but one that moves me and Anna forward, and I'm not leaving until I do.
Hours pass as I go back and forth, wrestling with every emotion possible until I come to a solution. The only way out that will work.
I stand, almost feeling like myself again. My only hesitation now lies in the unfortunate event of Anna not agreeing to my demands.
If she does that, then...
No, I won't allow myself to think about that right now. I need to know she's on board.
I leave the room and run into Lydia in the front entrance.
"Sir, Sofia's painting has been delivered."
I nod.
"Where is she?"
"She's up in your room. Some time after you went in there," she says, pointing to the billiard room, "she came out crying and ran upstairs. Figured it best to leave it to you," Lydia says, her face showing concern.
"Yes, that's all right. Is she in our room?"
"Yes, sir."
"Thanks, and you can leave the painting there for now. And, why don't you head home early today. I'll see you tomorrow."
She nods her head as I turn to make my way up the stairs. With each step, I find myself growing a bit worried.
What if she says no?
She can't, can she? Would she?
As I approach the bedroom door, I stop and think.
Everything could fall apart in the next few moments.