Chapter 7
7
I’d left the house that morning before anyone else was up and arrived at the shop at seven thirty. I knew I wouldn’t get much chance to read before Dennis arrived, so thought I’d come and switch on the fairy lights, basking in the lovely warm, cosy feeling that it gave me, before Mr Perfect came along and spoilt the vibe. I propped the door open, lit a sage stick, and wafted it around, determined to reduce any negative energy from his visit yesterday. I probably should have done it before I left last night, but after he’d gone, I felt completely shattered and closed early as I just wasn’t feeling the love. This morning, as I glanced out to sea, and could see the sun starting to rise, I breathed in deeply, closed my eyes and began to repeat my affirmations out loud.
‘I am a successful business owner.’ I repeated these words five times before moving on to the next one. I’d been told that you needed to do it at least this many times as positive thinking can affect your brain and change the way you feel inside.
‘I am resilient and can handle any challenges that come my way.’ Five repeats later and I was ready for another.
‘The universe is conspiring to bring me all that I want.’ Again repeated five times before moving on to the final one.
‘I am enough.’ Apparently this was the most powerful of them all, which tackled feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. It promoted worthiness and self-confidence and I could definitely do with some of that. Halfway through the third time, I was rudely interrupted.
‘What’s all this malarkey then?’
I jumped at his voice.
‘I’m doing my daily affirmations.’
‘Your whatimations?’
‘Affirmations. They’re positively loaded phrases, which challenge unhelpful or negative thoughts. They’re used to encourage positive changes, boost self-esteem and belief. Oh, and they’re motivational too.’ I had learned this description off by heart when I was first told about them.
I saw him roll his eyes and jumped in before he could speak.
‘I’m a huge believer in manifesting, asking the universe for what you want and need and trusting that it will all work out.’ I smiled sweetly at him.
‘And how’s that working out for you so far?’
That smirk was beginning to form again. Much as I could have slapped him right then, I breathed deeply, and offered him a herbal tea. I did need some help and getting my knickers in a twist with him wasn’t going to help me at all.
‘I’d rather have a coffee if you have some. Stronger the better please.’
While the kettle was boiling, I had a little word with myself. I needed help. He could help me. Maybe I had to swallow my pride and see what he had to say. If he was all that Vi said he was, it would probably be worth listening to what he had to say, even if I didn’t agree. He might have had one little nugget of an idea that could help.
‘Look, Nancy, I feel like we’ve got off on the wrong foot. Shall we start over again?’
I looked into his big brown eyes. God, much as I didn’t want to, I could get lost in them. It occurred to me then that he looked like Ryan Gosling in Crazy Stupid Love . His mannerisms were quite like him too. Much as I fought them, and in my head told them to pipe down, little fireworks went off inside my tummy.
‘I’m stopping with Nan for a couple of weeks,’ he said. ‘Taking some time out of work. I’m going to be around anyway. I won’t know what to do with myself if I’m not working. It’ll give me something to do to while away my time.’
‘My bookshop is not a joke, Dennis.’
‘I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘How much do you charge? I’m not even sure I can afford you.’
‘Ah, don’t worry about that.’
‘I’d rather know upfront before I get stung with a big bill.’
‘Nancy, you’ve been lovely to my nan. The whole of Driftwood Bay has been amazing to her and I’ll never be able to thank everyone. Your mum isn’t just Nan’s cleaner she’s way much more than that.’
‘I don’t want Mum to know anything. She can’t find out.’ Panic was rising. ‘Please tell me that you haven’t told your nan about this.’
‘No, I haven’t. But she does know that I’m coming here to see if I can do anything to help. I told her I was coming to help you unload some boxes. Don’t worry.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I wasn’t going to charge you anything, Nancy,’ he continued. ‘This is a gift from me to you to say thank you for being so kind to Nan.’
Maybe he wasn’t such a baddie after all. Not everyone has to be friends. If he could offer help, out of the goodness of his heart, surely I would be a fool to turn it down.
I thought about my future. Teaching was behind me now and it was something I would never want to go back to. A bookshop was all I’d ever dreamed of. I wanted to run this one until I was a little old lady. I could be stubborn and defiant, and refuse his help, or I could accept that with some expert advice, this business could give me the future I so craved. I’d be a fool to turn him down.
‘Then yes please, Dennis. I would like your help.’
He smiled back at me and then that smirk reappeared.
‘There you go. That wasn’t so hard after all, was it?’