Chapter 20
20
We’d settled into an easy routine. Every day I would arrive at the shop and have an hour of cosy reading in the window, and I’d get a pot of coffee ready for when Dennie arrived around nine. The mornings were normally quiet and we could chat around the customers who came in and I’d also try to spend some time painting, although the shells were going down really well and I was nearly running out of my stock. The nights were drawing in and it was getting darker earlier so there wasn’t as much time in the day to go and do the things that I wanted to do, and my weekends were full of beach angel work and finding shells to paint. I wasn’t sure what Dennie got up to normally on a weekend. He said that he’d been enjoying spending real quality time with his nan and he told me that she loved reminiscing and sharing stories about his parents when they were younger and less selfish. He didn’t speak about his parents much and didn’t seem to give anything away about them. He had shared that he loved listening to those stories even though they seemed to be about people he didn’t know and said that he could understand a little more about why she liked reading fiction, because it was as if she was telling him fictional stories.
‘So, today, my friend, we’re going to be learning all about manifesting.’
Dennie put his head in his hands but I immediately reached out to him and removed his hands, holding on to them for a split second too long before I realised what I was doing. I had, however, in that short time, realised how soft his hands were, and felt like I could probably count every single one of the light brown hairs on the back of them. I dropped them back onto his lap and smiled sweetly.
After I’d explained what manifesting was, he paraphrased it back to me.
‘So, I tell the universe what I want, and it listens and through its vibrations, it sends me back the thing that I want. Is that it?’
‘Yep, that’s about it,’ I said. ‘I told the universe that I wanted a bookshop, and then a few weeks later, I got a letter telling me that Aunty Theresa had left me some money in her will and wished that I would be able to follow my dream.’
‘And you don’t just think that was a bloody great big coincidence?’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘But why?’
‘Because the universe doesn’t work like that. That’s why.’
He scorned, huffing out loud.
‘OK, let’s try this. Close your eyes. Now think of something you’d really like right now.’
His left eyebrow lifted ever so slightly. So slightly that I wondered if I’d imagined it. He opened one eye and smirked at me.
‘Be serious. It won’t work if you don’t.’
‘Yes, miss!’
I giggled. I was not a giggler but somehow in his presence I became one. He was dry and full of one-liners that were hilarious. I don’t think he even realised how funny he was. I rolled my eyes at myself and told him to relax.
‘I’ve told you before, I find it hard to relax.’
‘Oh, Dennie, you’re a nightmare. Chill out!’
‘Nancy, I’m finding it quite unrelaxing to have you bellowing at me. Not really conducive, you know? Can we not have some twinky-twonky music playing and some smelly candles to help the atmosphere a little?’
‘We’re trying to talk to the universe here, not have a romantic night in.’
‘Well, perhaps we need to woo the universe a little more. Make it a little more ambient.’
‘Dennie!’ I warned.
He held his hands up to me.
‘OK, OK. I’m relaxing. Honest.’
‘Now think of the thing you really want.’
‘Mmmm! I am.’ His deep guttural elongated pronunciation of such a small phrase hit me with a power I didn’t know existed. Blimey, just imagine if… No! I couldn’t allow myself to imagine anything more than us being friends. Since our bike ride, I had taken stock of our situation and we’d been getting on like a house on fire. As friends. He would be heading back to London soon, I would be here alone, and with a thriving business that I didn’t have to worry about any longer. My plan for the next year was coming along swimmingly and I was going to be so busy I wouldn’t have time to even think about him when he was gone.
‘Now, you ask the universe in your head to make it happen. Then think about it in the present. Imagine how it would feel if you had the thing that you wanted. Can you see it?’
‘God! Yes!’ The tone that he said those two little words in was sexier than I could ever imagine. Was he doing it on purpose to wind me up?
‘OK, so you can open your eyes now.’
‘Thank you.’
‘How did that feel?’
Again, those gorgeous brown eyes locked onto mine and I felt like he could see right into the very soul of me. I sincerely hoped that at that very moment he could not read my mind. I was thinking things that one should never be thinking about a friend. But then most people didn’t have friends who looked the spitting image of Ryan Gosling.
‘OK. So, let’s see if it happens now then. See whether this bullshit you spout comes true.’
‘Harsh.’
‘The proof will be in the pudding.’
‘It really is.’
‘Anyhow, what are you doing at the weekend?’
‘Beach angeling on Saturday and then on Sunday I really need to see if I can get some more large shells. I’ve used all but the last one. If not, I’m going to have to buy some, but I don’t really want to do that unless I have to. Keep the costs down and all that.’
He put his hands together in prayer. ‘Thank you, Lord! She listens.’
I swatted him with the pad I’d been using to do some journaling in. Another manifestation tool was to write down what you wanted. I was a big believer in vision boards too but thought that might definitely be a bit too woo-woo for him.
At that point Mum walked in. She’d brought us both some sweet potato and cinnamon soup. Dennis was still struggling with Vi’s food. She’d offered him banana and spinach cake the day before and he’d refused, saying that he didn’t want to start putting on weight again, rather than hurting her feelings. Mum had laughed when he told her this – apparently Vi had told her that Dennis was turning his nose up a lot at all the things she suggested and said that he could do his own cooking.
‘This smells gorgeous, Wendy,’ he said, taking the package. ‘Thanks so much.’
‘My pleasure, treasure. If I’m doing some for Nancy, then another mouth being fed makes me happy.’
‘Mum’s a feeder. You may have noticed.’ I laughed and Mum narrowed her eyes at me.
‘I suppose I am really. I think it comes from when your brother was bullied at school. I used to feed him things I knew he loved when he got home so it would cheer him up. I think that’s why he has all these issues these days with his girlfriends. I don’t think he feels like he’s ever worthy of anything else after all that trouble he had back then.’
‘That’s so sad,’ Dennis said. ‘I wish my mum would have been more like you.’
It was the first real time he’d mentioned his mum and I was glad that he was speaking about her, even if it was to my mum and not me. By this time, I’d moved over to behind the counter but I could still hear him talking.
‘She was just not maternal. She was never around much. I used to have to come home from school and get myself something to eat. I couldn’t cook so it was normally a bowl of cereal or some toast, which I could just about manage to make. It’s why I used to love coming to Nan’s in the school holidays.’
‘So, did you never learn to cook then, Dennis? Can you cook?’
Typical that Mum picked up on that more than the emotional side of things and wondering why his mum was never there.
‘I’m a wizard with a microwave, Wendy. I have a very good cleaning lady who has been more of a mother to me than my own ever was. She makes me home-cooked meals while she’s doing them for her own family, and she loads up my freezer, so I just have to get them out in the morning before work and then I heat them up when I get home. I wish I could cook, to be honest. It’s something I’ve always said I’d learn but never seemed to find the time.’
‘You have more time on your hands now than ever, don’t you?’ she asked. ‘When do you go back to London?’
I nearly broke my neck at this point, craning to hear as best as I could.
‘I’m heading back at the weekend actually. Got some things I need to sort out.’
‘Will you be away for long?’
‘I don’t think I can stay away. Even if I wanted to.’ We both looked up at the same time and our eyes locked. ‘Driftwood Bay seems to have got right under my skin.’
He didn’t take his eyes off mine, and when I broke eye contact, Mum looked from one of us to the other, a sly smile appearing on her face.
‘Well, you let me know when you are back and have some time, young man. I think I have a wonderful idea that could help both you and Vi, and maybe some other people too.’
Intrigued as to what she was plotting, I stepped back over to where they were standing, but she didn’t elaborate any further, though she did wink at me as she gave me a little kiss on the cheek before she left.
‘He’s a good one, you know, kid,’ she whispered in my ear. ‘Not many of them around. You should snap him up before someone else does. Or before he goes back to London for good.’
This thought wouldn’t leave my mind that evening. I locked the shop door and Dennie and I agreed to meet later at the pub for quiz night. We were getting into a proper little routine and I think I’d been kidding myself into thinking that being friends was just fine, and that we’d just continue to plod along in the way that we were. But now all I could think about was the fact he might not be here for much longer and that thought gave a little twang on my heart. The thought of him not being in my life every day was not filling me with joy. It wasn’t that long ago that we barely knew each other, but now, I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.