Chapter 41
41
Our walk that day was helpful. Dan gave me some great intel into how stupid he thought men were. It was interesting to say the least. He felt that men had to have things pointed out to them. He laughed when he remembered that Sabrina used to shout at him when he would walk over the washing basket she’d left on the stairs rather than take it upstairs with him. His argument was always that if she had asked him to take it, he would have, but his brain didn’t register what she wanted, so he didn’t bother. He also remembered another instance where it was his job to sort out the bins. Way too messy a job for Sabrina. She might break a nail. When the kitchen bin was full, she expected him to take it out. Rather than asking, she would start to pile rubbish on top of the full bin. He remembered the night that she hinted that the kitchen was starting to smell because of all the rubbish, but instead of taking it out, his brain told him that the probably needed a bigger bin and then he spent hours googling bin storage, which led to a huge argument where she yelled at him and told him he was absolutely useless.
These were the small things, that she got at every single day. There were other huge things that I’d discovered recently. The frequent times when she’d shut him out in the garden late at night because she didn’t like the way he’d spoken to her. The times when she’d ridiculed him in front of her friends, making him feel completely stupid when he didn’t know the answer to something or when he didn’t give her constant adoration and she sent him back to Mum and Dad’s telling him that he could come back when he’d learned how to treat his woman much better. He’d even admitted to me recently that he’d always made sure his car keys were in his pocket, so that when she did kick him out, he could sleep in his car, as on several occasions when she didn’t feel that he’d spent the right amount of money on her for Christmas and birthdays.
Years of someone telling him that he was absolutely useless had convinced him that that was exactly what he was. He couldn’t see what we could all see. The wonderful, kind, clever, creative man before me today. He had become a shadow of his former self and it was lovely to now see him take back his control and look forward to a life he loved.
His take on the whole women and men coming from different planets was that they absolutely were and that their brains were wired up differently. He went on to say that he thought Dennis wouldn’t have even thought about the consequences of me ever finding out about the bet, because his two worlds would never have collided.
It was useful to have this insight, but I just had to figure out what I wanted, whether this was enough for me to forgive him.
I did know that I was getting restless and was itching to get back to Driftwood Bay and the bookshop properly, and it be my life once more. I missed it, but wasn’t sure how it would feel going back. Would I ever be able to forgive Dennie? Could we ever go back to how we were? Or did I cut my losses and break all ties with him? I didn’t think we could ever just be friends again, so maybe that was the best thing to do. A bruised heart was not one that could make sensible decisions. But whatever I decided, I did know that life would go on. I could wallow with my wounds, but the only person suffering from that would be me. The world would keep on turning and I had to jump back on the merry-go-round of life.
My brain hurt from overthinking everything. Tomorrow was another day and I would try to make some decisions about it then. I’d been away long enough and skulking around in the middle of the night was playing havoc with my circadian rhythms. It was time to take back my life just like my brother was taking back his.