Chapter Eleven #2
She capped the can and put it in the refrigerator, then looked at what she had for her own dinner.
She’d just pulled out a bag of salad and some cut up chicken when she heard her phone chime with an incoming message.
She glanced at the screen, expecting to have heard from her sister or one of her friends from work.
Instead there was a message from Dustin.
Are you seeing someone else? Is that what went wrong?
She crossed to the table and sank into one of the chairs. After rereading the message three times, she put her phone on the
table and shook her head.
In the weeks since she’d turned down his proposal there hadn’t been even a whisper of contact between them. Not a call or
an email or a text—until today. Until he’d decided to basically accuse her of cheating on him. Another guy? Is that what he
thought of her?
Sadness and fury battled. She sucked in a breath and told herself it was always better to take the higher ground.
No. Of course not.
She hit Send, then hoped he didn’t ask her why she’d turned him down, because she didn’t have a good answer. The truth—that
she hadn’t been as in love with him as she’d thought—seemed mean-spirited, albeit true.
She glanced back at her phone and watched the three dots disappear.
I thought it might be Alex.
“What?” she said out loud. “Alex? What is that crap? I can’t be friends with Alex because he has a penis? No, it’s not Alex.
It’s not anyone.”
She picked up her phone, then put it back down. “Breathe,” she told herself. “Breathe and think.” Because whatever she texted back would live forever and she didn’t want to say something she would later regret.
Alex and I have only ever been friends, which you know. I’m sad and disappointed that you would think so little of me. If
you want to talk, we can do that, but I don’t want to continue to have what is an important conversation via text.
He answered almost immediately.
I don’t want to talk. I just wondered.
She waited but there wasn’t anything else. After a few minutes, she left her phone on the table and retreated to the sofa.
While she knew she should probably eat something, she wasn’t hungry anymore. She knew that she’d hurt Dustin and felt bad
about that. She’d been so sure that they could make it. But having him think she would cheat on him made her wonder if they’d
ever known each other at all.
She settled in a corner to think and possibly sulk, but before she could figure out which she wanted to do, Lucy jumped up
and walked over to her. She circled around in her lap a few times, then curled up with her front paws on Ryleigh’s stomach
and began making biscuits, all the while purring loudly.
The warm little body, the comforting purr and the way the cat gazed at her with soft, affectionate eyes, eased the worst of
her hurt.
“I like you, too,” she said, scratching Lucy under her chin. “We’re going to make this work, you and I. Thanks for being here.”
Lucy offered a slow blink.
At least she’d gotten this right, Ryleigh thought. She’d taken the first step in fixing her life. Now all she had to do was
figure out the next one and then make it happen.
“Make her stop, Mom,” Xander said as he walked into the bookstore. He dropped his backpack on the floor, then held out his arms as he walked close and hugged her. “I’m tired of her talking about the wedding all the time.”
Jax held on as long as he would let her, then reached for her daughter.
“I can’t help it.” Gentry smiled up at her. “Shawna texted to tell me she and Dad have set the date. They’re getting married
the Saturday after the Fourth of July next summer.”
“Are they,” Jax murmured, not sure which was more dismaying—Shawna and her daughter texting or the fact that Shawna was moving
forward with a wedding Jax was fairly sure wasn’t going to happen.
“You need to practice a little patience,” she told her son as she led the way toward the coffee bar on the side of the store
where she would allow them to pick out an after-school snack and a juice pack. “A wedding is a big deal.”
“Not to me. You promised me cake, but I don’t think that’s enough to get me through. I’d rather talk about math homework or
going to the dentist than keep hearing the same thing over and over again.”
“I think it’s interesting and fun,” Gentry said, sounding only a little defensive.
Once they’d picked out a table, they went to the display case where they bickered good-naturedly over their snack choice.
In the end they decided to split a fruit and cheese plate, along with a large peanut butter cookie. Jax handed over her water
tumbler for a refill, then sat with her kids.
“How was your day?” she asked as they dug into the food.
“Good,” Xander mumbled over a mouthful of cracker and cheese.
When Jax raised her eyebrows, he covered his mouth with his hand, chewed exaggeratedly, then swallowed.
“Sorry. It was good. The Badgers got paid and there weren’t any unexpected expenses this week.
” He sighed heavily. “I thought I’d really like this project, but it’s hard. ”
“I know and you’ve been doing a great job keeping the Badgers going.”
“I want to grow up and drive and stuff, but the money thing is yucky.”
“You’ll need to get a good job so money isn’t a problem,” Gentry told him.
Xander looked doubtful. “But I don’t know what I want to be.”
Jax smiled at him. “That’s okay. You have a few years before you have to decide anything.”
He nodded and opened his juice pack.
“How about you?” Jax asked her daughter. “Any excitement today?”
“Not really. We had a quiz in social studies, but I’m current on the reading so I did fine. A couple of kids hadn’t read the
chapter, so they were really upset.” She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t get it. Mrs. Kelly gave us a reading schedule and warned
us there would be pop quizzes to make sure we were following it. It’s not like they didn’t know.”
“Maybe they didn’t believe her,” Jax said.
“I guess.” Gentry reached into her backpack and pulled out a bridal magazine. “Shawna gave me this so I could look at dresses.
She wants to start shopping this summer, when school’s out.” Gentry flipped to a dog-eared page. “I think this one is really
pretty.”
Jax eyed the one-shouldered fit gown doubtfully. “That’s a lot of dress.”
Xander snorted. “You can’t wear that. You’re still a kid.”
“Could too.” Gentry looked at her. “Shawna said whatever we decide, we have to wait to order it because I’m still growing.
But if we wait too long, we might not be able to get it in time.” She worried her lower lip. “I need to wear the right dress,
Mom. I can’t look different from the other bridesmaids.”
Jax found herself mentally agreeing with her son that there was way too much wedding talk.
“Take a breath. It’s all good. Shawna will know how late she can order the dress. Trust me—she and her mom will absolutely
make sure you have the right one. If they’re concerned about you growing, they’ll get it in a bigger size, then have it altered
so it fits you perfectly.”
“You promise?”
“I do. A good alteration person can work magic.” She smiled. “You’ll be a beautiful bridesmaid.”
Gentry beamed. Xander made a gagging noise in the back of his throat, then quickly stopped when Jax gave him “the look.”
Gentry reached for her half of the cookie. “Last week Shawna was talking to Dad about her bachelorette party. It’s going to
be in Las Vegas. When I asked her about it, she said I couldn’t go because I was too young. Can you talk to her for me? Next
summer I’m going to be twelve.”
Jax tried not to choke on her water. “No, I won’t talk to her. You’re not going to Las Vegas.”
“But, Mom!”
“No but anything. I wouldn’t let you go if you were sixteen. It’s not anything you need to be a part of.”
“But they’ll be having fun without me.”
“Yes, they will and you need to deal with the pain.” A bachelorette party? Not on this planet or any other.
Jax felt yet another flicker of concern for Shawna. The newly engaged bride-to-be was jumping into the planning with all the
energy of someone who really thought there was going to be a wedding. She wondered how long Harris was going to string her
along. For a brief second she thought about sharing her concerns, but then mentally slapped herself. It wasn’t her party.
She was a mildly interested bystander. This was firmly on Harris.
Her phone buzzed. She glanced at the screen. “It’s the bed delivery people confirming the time on Friday.” She looked at both her kids. “I need you to tell me for the four hundredth time that you’re perfectly okay with me sleeping downstairs.”
“Oh, Mom.” Xander patted her hand. “We’re growing up. You have to accept it. We’re not babies anymore.”
“Thanks for the reassurance.”
She typed in the word Confirmed to let the furniture company know she would be there to take delivery.
The room had come together quickly. Once she’d approved Marcus’s very fancy and beautiful vanity option and given him the
info on the paint, his guys had gone to work. By five on Wednesday she had a new toilet and vanity and the bedroom and bathroom
had been painted. That morning the junk guys had taken everything that couldn’t be donated. Tomorrow the carpet would be cleaned.
She’d thought about replacing it but once she’d taken a look at it, she’d realized it was in really good shape. With her bed
being delivered on Friday, she was all set. Saturday she would move her things downstairs, giving Harris and Shawna the main
bedroom.
Ramon flew over and landed on the back of Gentry’s chair, careful to keep his back to Jax. When Gentry held out her hand,
he hopped on, then nuzzled her hair before flying over to Xander and doing the same. Then he gave Jax a death stare before
flying off.
Gentry frowned. “Is Ramon still mad at you?”
Jax sighed. “He is. I thought he might want to forgive me but I guess he doesn’t.”
“But it’s been a couple of days.”
Xander rolled his eyes. “He almost got eaten. He’s gonna stay mad for a while.” His gaze followed the bird. “I wish I could have been there to see Lucy attack him.”
“Xander!” Gentry sounded horrified. “Don’t say that.”
“I don’t want anything bad to happen to him,” he amended quickly. “Just that it would have been great to see Lucy in action
and . . .”
Jax looked at him and his voice trailed off.
“Sorry, Mom.”
“It’s okay. I know what you meant.” She sighed. “He’s really mad at me.”
“You need to get him something special,” her daughter said. “To show him you’re really sorry.”
“Like another cat,” Xander said with a snort.
“Stop it,” Gentry told him, then looked at Jax. “I mean it, Mom. An ‘I’m sorry’ gift can help. Remember how mad Dad was that
time you forgot his birthday? But then you said he could buy that classic car he wanted and he wasn’t mad anymore.”
Jax winced at the memory. Somehow she’d totally forgotten about Harris’s birthday and without her mentioning it, the kids
had forgotten as well. He’d gone silent for three days until she’d finally gotten him to tell her what was wrong and then
she’d felt like crap. Gentry was wrong about one thing—Harris hadn’t been mad, he’d been hurt. He’d accused her of not being
interested in having him in her life.
She’d told him that wasn’t true, but now, looking back and still feeling a lot of guilt and shame, she wondered if he’d been
right. Had she not wanted him around? Had she secretly preferred life when he was gone? While she wasn’t sure how to get an
answer, she knew it was important to figure out that truth because until she understood exactly what had gone wrong with her
marriage, she was never going to feel whole and comfortable in her own skin.