Chapter 25
London
It’s already over after a minute, maybe two. I can’t believe what I’ve gotten myself into again.
While Alexander gets dressed, I need another moment. My legs are trembling, and I’m glad I can hold onto the shelf for support. That was intense.
I swallow, collect myself, stand up straight, and put my clothes back in place.
“Do I get the PIN now?” I ask, giving him an angry look.
Actually, I’m mad at myself, because I hadn’t wanted to do this anymore. I was so proud of holding out all day, and then this…
“Did you only have sex with me to get the PIN?” he asks skeptically.
I stay silent, watching him just as skeptically. Something between us has shifted, but I don’t know what. I only know it’s no longer casual or comfortable, but… strange. As if we haven’t defined what we actually are. Honestly, I don’t even know myself.
“What are we?” I ask him directly.
Alexander doesn’t answer. He just glances at me briefly and then says: “You’ll get it when I’m at my car. My phone’s in the locker room.”
“And now I get to walk through the gym and face everyone’s stares. Unlike you, I’m now a slut and you’re the rockstar.” I really don’t like this. “And I’ll have to find a new boxing club.”
Such a huge mess.
“Nonsense,” he says before I walk out the door and back into the training hall.
Everyone’s already standing there like vultures, jeering. But I’m alone, which makes them briefly doubtful. God, these looks are humiliating. I’m dying of shame.
“Ooh, dark look,” one says.
“Hey, where’s the guy?”
“She probably killed him.”
“Is that blood on her hands?”
Their laughter is unbearable, so I grab my stuff and head to the locker room. Just before I enter, I hear Alexander walking in the main hall. He’s celebrated. Cheered. Applauded. He’s the star. The king. The one who managed to hook up with me.
That’s it. I won’t get involved with him anymore. What an ass. He’s just using me, like all men do. To him, I’m nothing more than a toy, while I was on the verge of losing my heart to him.
Just then, tears well up in my eyes. I cry. Probably because it's too late and I've fallen in love with him. Him of all people.
If only he had stayed in the States…
I wipe my tears, change quickly, and hurry out of the boxing club. The piercing stares of the other men are devastating. I just want to get out of here.
When I reach my car, I wait inside. Since I’m parked only a few yards from Alexander’s car, I won’t miss him. I pull out my phone and text Vanessa, who fortunately happens to be online.
Me: I hate him!
Nessa: Who? Alex?
Me: Yes, of course!!!
Nessa: What happened?
Me: We were at the boxing club and then he just picked me up and carried me off. Right in front of everyone!
Nessa: Picked you up?
Me: Yes, threw me over his shoulder. He took me into one of the storage rooms and we had sex. Two minutes. At most.
Nessa: Uhhh…
Me: I can never go back there to train. Everyone knows now that he hooked up with me!
Nessa: Oh, I see. So not uhm… more like Ooooh!
Me: Now I’ll be known as a slut…
Nessa: Typical. That’s what happens immediately if you’re a woman while men are praised. I hate that so much.
Me: I guess I’ll have to look for a new job. How am I supposed to work with him now?
Nessa: First, calm down. Take a deep breath.
Me: I’m trying. Crap. He’s coming. I’ll message you later.
Nessa: Just stay calm!
I start the engine and roll down the window.
“Give me your phone,” I demand angrily. It’s hard to keep my voice even and not yell, though I’d really like to.
Alexander comes over and digs out his phone. With an inquisitive look, he hands it to me.
“2510,” he says.
His birthday?
I type in the number, unlock the phone, and start searching while Alexander loads his bag into the car and leans against the driver’s side rear door. I can only see him in the side mirror.
His phone is very practical. No unnecessary apps—just banking, email, and messages.
“Where is it?” I ask.
“You’ll have to look for it,” he teases in an amused tone.
I sigh and open the gallery, and I’m immediately overwhelmed. Pictures of half-naked women everywhere! I roll my eyes and finally find my photo among all the blondes. I tap it, delete it, and empty the trash so he can’t restore it. Hopefully, he hasn’t saved it anywhere else.
Curious, I open one of the blondes’ photos and am stunned when Stephanie smiles back at me from the screen.
Wait a second…
I scroll through the others. It’s all Stephanie!
“You miserable jerk!” I curse, storming out of the car.
Alexander looks irritated and apparently has no idea what’s going on.
I shove the phone at him and snap: “She’s married, and you’re having an affair with her?”
“What?” Alex furrows his brow and looks at the photo of Stephanie still on display. “That’s just Stephanie. She’s always sending me pictures and videos of herself.”
“Half-naked? In a bikini? At the beach? In yoga pants?”
“Yes.” Alex’s tone is dry and perplexed, which takes the wind out of my sails. Either there really is nothing to it, or he’s so jaded that he doesn’t even care.
“Did you have those pictures just to make me jealous?” I ask, upset.
“What? No. That’s just my main photo gallery—it saves all the photos that are sent to me. Why would I want to make you jealous?” He says it so dryly and casually that it stabs at my heart. I swallow hard and take a deep breath.
“That’s not normal. Honestly.”
I hand his phone back and move to get in my car.
“She used to do it only occasionally, but shortly before the wedding she started bombarding me with them. I assume she was a bit insecure about whether she was good enough. But what can I say? She is pretty.”
Alex sounds a little lost, so I hesitate instead of storming off.
“No woman would send those kinds of pictures if she wasn’t interested,” I say firmly.
"She got married. Don't you remember? You happened to be there too." Alex doesn't seem interested at all. "We've known each other since forever and there was never anything between us. And now she's married."
"And if she wasn’t married?" I ask. My heart beats faster. Is he secretly in love with her?
“Nothing would happen then either. She’s just not my type. Even before, she was more like a little sister to me.” He says it so indifferently that I almost believe him. But then he grins and asks: “Are you jealous?”
"This ends now, Alex. I'm never sleeping with you again, is that clear? I want to do my job, and I want to do it well. Do you understand that? I need this job. Unlike you, I can't afford to be unemployed. Getting into bed with you was a stupid idea. Today was the last time. Please, let’s just keep this professional. You’re my boss. I’m your assistant.
Nothing more.” Saying it hurts terribly.
So much that tears spring to my eyes again.
“Okay? Can you please treat me fairly when we’re at work tomorrow? ”
I think Alexander finally realizes I’m serious.
“Of course.” He straightens and looks thoughtful.
“Thank you.” I take a deep breath and open the car door wider so I can get in. The engine is still running, so I only need to close the door and fasten my seatbelt. Alexander steps aside to let me drive away and only then do I allow myself to cry again.
No—this feels wrong. But just because my heart feels this way doesn’t mean it’s right. I need to listen to my head, and it’s telling me to drive home. Alone.
Once in my apartment, I immediately call Vanessa. We still have quite a lot to discuss.
“I’m so glad I can talk to you about this,” I sob, curling up on the couch under a blanket. Even though it’s far too warm, it feels like it’s hugging me.
“What will you do if things get awkward at work?” she asks.
“I should probably start looking for a new job now,” I admit. “This is only going to cause problems; I can feel it. And the probation period isn’t long. He could fire me any day.”
“How much have you saved?”
“Enough. I could live off my savings for two or three years, but that’s not what they’re for.” I sigh. “I’d better start looking at job listings now. It’s always smart to have a Plan B.”
“Sad but true. But hey, look at it this way: You’re damn good at your job, and in an interview, you can easily explain why you want to leave.
The old boss was great, but his son unfortunately isn’t.
If it were still your old boss, it probably wouldn’t sound convincing.
But thanks to the change, I think your explanation makes perfect sense. ”
“Yes, you’re right.” I pull my laptop out from under the coffee table and open it. “I’ll get back to you when I find something good.”
“And if anything else comes up, call me, okay? Or text.”
“I will, I promise.”
Without Vanessa, I would be completely helpless and lost. She’s the only one I can talk to about these things.
I spend the entire evening searching through companies.
As it turns out, there are four current openings that might work.
One pays less, but it’s close to where I live and the hours are good.
Two are similar to my current position, and the fourth pays significantly more but also demands much more work.
On impulse, I update my application documents and submit them to all four companies just after midnight.
I feel much better now.
After that, I go to bed. The day has been long enough, and I’ve cried twice. Probably just because it’s Monday.
Has anything good ever happened on a Monday?
The next morning, I arrive at the office a little earlier. When Alexander comes in, everything feels calm, polite, and formal. We greet each other, I bring him coffee and sort his documents. There’s no sign of yesterday in his behavior, which reassures me at first.
The day passes smoothly. I spend lunch alone, and in the late afternoon Mr. Blackthorn Senior stops by for a few meetings with the department heads.
Since I’m on my phone, I check my emails occasionally. No replies yet, but I don’t want to stress myself about it.