CHAPTER 10
Luna
“Stop laughing at me!” I yell at my phone, where Ellie and Mia are guffawing at my expense. Then I sneeze again. “Damn it!”
“They really are so adorable.” Ellie says through her giggles.
“Adorable and toxic.” I move one of the three kittens I just purchased off of my lap.
Mia chimes in, “I love this though. He loves dogs, you become a crazy cat lady. Perfect phase one of your plan.”
“I guess you don’t know you’re severely allergic to something until surprise! You know,” I mutter.
More laughter.
I flip my middle finger at my phone.
“You’re not going to keep them, right?”
“No, Ellie, I’m not keeping them. Although, maybe I should, look at me! I look like I’ve been stung by killer bees.”
“And then used sandpaper to wash your face!” Mia starts cackling again.
“Watch it, bitch, I will slip diuretics into your smoothies!”
“From Miami?”
“You doubt my power?”
Mia sobers immediately, “Never, boss.”
Ellie rolls her eyes. “What was the plan, exactly?”
I move the phone to show my room. “Buy a shitton of cats and one million cat things and move them all into his house with great feline fanfare, obviously.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m donating all of this and coming up with the next idea.”
Mia nods. “You’ll come up with something. I have a question though,” I raise my brows at her before she says, “I saw the file Vix did. No pics?”
“And nothing on Google either.” Ellie mumbles as she slips on some earrings to go with the gown she has on. I wish I could join them at the fundraiser tonight for…I can’t remember. Something stupid and political, probably.
“Yeah, I paid extra for her to dig deeper,” I wince. “She found him.”
They both make a face at me like they’ve just smelled bad cheese. “And you didn’t send them on…”
Mia finishes Ellie’s thought, “So he’s fugly. Makes sense a nasty piece of work on the inside would be scary on the outside. Still. We gotta see it.”
I pick up the phone and tap around to download the image attachments from Vix’s email, then text them to our group message. They look at Mia’s phone.
“That’s it? Three blurry pics? How?”
I look at the images for the millionth time. He looks like a soldier in all three, not a don. Apparently he only wears combat boots and cargo pants. Dark colors, dark leather jacket, dark hair that falls forward and hides his eyes. Looks like he has a five o’clock shadow, but not a full beard.
I sigh, “Apparently under the radar for this guy really means under the damn radar.”
“Well, you know from the file he’s tall, looks like he’s big too,” Ellie starts.
“Big? Look at the men around him! Big is an athlete or one of Papa’s enforcers. This dude looks like a wall!”
“Big is hot, right? Didn’t the file say he gets around? I mean if he doesn’t have trouble getting girls…” Mia tries.
“Big is hot. A man the size of a small building is just wrong. But he must intimate those women, lure them into his tower where he lurks like Quasimodo.”
“Quasi who?” Mia asks.
“The hunchback of Notredame. And his face…”
Ellie rushes to comfort me, of course, always the silver-lining gal, “You can’t tell much about his face at all in these photos.”
“You can tell he looks like a pissed ogre,” I say at the same time that Mia says he looks terrifying. “Yes. That too, Mia. Vix wrote that the rumor mill says he has scars on his face.”
“Scars can also be hot, depending…”
“Ellie! Quit your rose-colored-bullshit for one second and feel adequately sorry for me! I’m going to be stuck with a deformed, depraved nine-foot-tall, double-wide monster who likes to decapitate people! Not hot!” I whine. They both freeze for a beat.
Because Luna Mancini doesn’t whine.
To add insult to injury, I sneeze again, launching snot mist all over the place.
“Fuck my life,” I mutter as my two besties start to giggle again.
I straighten my spine and clean myself up.
“Okay. Temper tantrum out of the way. Time to ditch these cats and find something else. Maybe my terror bride character is into…lizards? Rats?” We all shudder.
“No. No rodents. Can’t do it. Maybe a snake though? ”
“Or a parrot? Oh! Get a fainting goat or mini pig! Please, those are so cute! You should get a whole petting zoo. Be like a hippie type who takes in all the strays,” Mia gushes.
“I would, except I have to keep them all here until the move. I don’t want goats inside my house.”
“Agreed,” Ellie looks concerned again. “Any plans yet to meet? Dinners? When I hadn’t heard anything for a week I started to get my hopes up that maybe you’d changed your dad’s mind.”
“No dinners, no meetings. Which is why I went a little nuts and bought three cats.” I look around me, dismayed.
What a cluster. “Nothing at all until the formal engagement party next week, then two weeks later the wedding. All my stuff will be moved on the wedding day. I don’t have any windows of opportunity. Probably by Papa’s design.”
“Well, until the contract is signed in the church, there’s still some hope of escape, right?” Mia offers.
“Right. Also, all that time, he’s not doing any planning with you?”
“Ellie. Look at that creature. He doesn’t care if we go with white or ivory napkins!”
Mia laughs, “Facts.”
“Okay, so the operation starts once you move in.”
“Well, I’ll do my best at the party and the wedding, too.”
Mia frowns, “Your family won’t think it’s weird that you’ve suddenly changed personality?”
“My family knows I’m the principessa. That’s it. They don’t really know me. All the women are jealous, catty bitches who memorize the designer clothes I wear. Bosco might wonder if he looks away from Papa long enough. Papa will think I’m just acting out. Zeno will enjoy the show.”
“As will we!” Mia lifts her smoothie up in salute.
Ellie’s less enthusiastic, “You do have a reputation though, queenly, sophisticated. Everyone has grown up around you. You’ve never been whiny and spoiled.”
I laugh, “I am absolutely spoiled. As are you and every other mafia princess. Remember, weddings make people crazy. My true colors are just coming out.”
Mia nods, “I agree. It’ll work.”
I sigh, “It has to.”
Ellie grows serious again, “Don’t give up hope yet, we could still find a way.”
“Never,” I say before sneezing one last time and ending the call.
I fight the urge to push my best friend on what she means by “we.” Her uncle already said he’s not getting involved because the situation is too volatile.
He’s sure no other families, cartels or organizations abroad will want to be anywhere near this deal, in case my wedding turns explosive and suddenly half of each mafia clan is dead.
Including the bride and groom, probably.
Just what all wedding day dreams are made of. I groan, wishing I could pet the adorable creature at my feet for comfort.
So, if Ellie’s we isn’t her family, then is her famous politician husband really trying to do something about my fate? If so, does that mean he has ties to the Irish? How? Since when? Why?
Maybe I can feel things out, do some spying on Mark when I see them next week. They’ll be the only Delgado representation at the engagement party, along with Mia if she can convince her papa to let her come.
Anyway, enough questions, for now.
I have a wedding to plan all by myself.
Wait.
I’m planning this thing by myself.
I smile.
What better way to scare off the groom than to make his wedding, and engagement, absolutely insane?