CHAPTER 49
Van
“Quit shifting, you look like an overgrown child waiting in line at Disney World,” Mark says to me out of the corner of his mouth.
“You look like you just got beat in the face by your younger, bigger, better brother,” I reply. I don’t care if I look excited. I am excited. I haven’t seen O in person in ages. Him and Allie on the same day? This is like Christmas. Mark can kiss my ass.
The chopper hovers over us only long enough for O to climb down. His short gray hair blows in the wind and he gives a salute to the aircraft, but his ice blue eyes are trained on his wife.
Allie stands a few paces in front of us on Mark’s sprawling flat roof. Smart of him to section off a portion and add extra support to serve as a helipad. Not that I’ll tell him that. Cocky fucker.
“You went off course, wife,” O says, stalking toward her like a man on a mission.
Allie shrugs, “You found me just fine,” the last word is cut off by an aggressive kiss. O’s hands start to move and Mark groans, I look away and clear my throat. We always pretended to be bothered as boys, seeing them make out and ass grab and flirt nearly all the damn time.
But I think we were all in awe.
True, real love. Deep, lasting affection. Respect. Loyalty.
Obviously, attraction, too.
“Can you not?” Mark grouses.
“No,” O says from inside A’s mouth, “I can’t not.”
“Ugh,” I add.
“Come on, You were apart for what, a few hours? Don’t we have more pressing issues, here?” Mark goes on, but O just removes one hand from Allie to flip us the bird behind her back.
“We’ll just wait downstairs,” I offer.
Allie pulls away, “No you won’t, Mark’s right,” she whispers something I’m glad I can’t hear in his ear before pulling the most powerful man in the world by the hand toward us. When they reach me, O pulls out of her grasp to grab me hard and clap me on the back.
He pulls away and makes a point to look straight into my eyes, “You’ve done well, Van. As don. I know it’s been a mindfuck. Your men, your cousins, your home, now your wife. I’m proud of you,” he says simply.
I…
Shit.
I gulp, unable to respond.
It takes all my strength not to blink or sniff.
“Uh, his wife? The mean, venomous wench who almost blew all of us wide open a few hours ago?”
“Mark, I fucking swear, if you don’t—”
“Yes,” O says, in his tone that shuts us both up. “Allie is right, as always. Luna will be a fantastic, unexpected addition to our ranks. I’m excited to see what she can accomplish.”
“You need to get a read on the situation, O.” Mark eyes me, feeling awkward, “I’m not sure she’s joining.”
I say nothing because, hell, I’m not so sure either.
I don’t have a great feeling about my chances.
Luna is fierce and loyal to her people. To those she loves and chooses.
She may never choose me. She may never get over the lies, the double life, the mission underneath it all, in my case, literally.
“Nonsense,” our father says with a grin, “She’ll join us. The only thing she’s unsure about is Van.”
He walks off, Mark chuckling and Allie chastising.
Well, fuck.
Now I feel even worse.
·····
“It’s an honor to meet you, Luna,” O says as he enters the room. He crosses to kiss Ellie on the cheek, “and always a pleasure, Mrs. White.” Ellie shifts awkwardly. My wife watches the exchange. She says nothing.
O goes on, “Despite how it might feel in this moment, you have options, Miss Mancini. We can mold the narrative. We can say you went in to get revenge for the attack and surprise the Volotovs but you got emotional at the mention of Shae and lost your cool. The two of you return home together, what’s left of it. ”
Luna’s eyes go wide.
“Cormac is there running defense, and we have overwatch and various trip wires. The Russians are leaving it alone for now. But it did take quite a few hits.” I grumble in anger and I can sense Luna feels the same. O’s hands raise, “Not my opp.”
“But you let it happen,” Luna says.
“I did. Would look suspicious if a missile came out of nowhere to protect the Irish, would it not?” Luna stares, processing.
O shifts to sit in the chair where Ellie was earlier.
“Let’s refocus on you. We could also say that you and Quinn split.
Send you home to your father as a plant for us.
” Her face flinches. She doesn’t like that option.
Thank God. “You could die, our specialty. We’re all dead men.
Myself and Allie died in our early twenties.
Van is his twin brother now. Marco died to become Mark White.
You die and disappear. You’d come and work closely with Allie.
You want to be the boss? You can be a puppet master for the entire western world, Luna. ” Another flash in my wife’s eyes.
Fuck.
If she chooses that, I’ll never see her. Just like I never see O or Allie. I can’t…I…
“I can die,” I offer quickly. “And she can run the Irish.”
O just turns to me slowly, “That…is an option.”
“What do you mean die, like witness protection?” Luna asks, eyes bouncing between me and Command.
“I’d have to change my appearance, live underground, stay in hiding. But I could see you, support you from the shack.”
“The shack? You mean the woods? Live in the fucking bunker?” She squeaks.
“Yes, but I’d be overwatch for you. Cormac is an operative for us, he’ll make sure you’re installed with no pushback in the older ranks. And you’d be the don,” I explain.
The words hang in the air. Luna blinks and shakes her head, like there is too much information to sort. I understand the feeling.
“I don’t like it,” Allie eventually says.
Luna’s head snaps up, “The Irish, by design, have very little power, little influence. Aside from the terrifying narrative we created for Skulls, they’re little more than a street gang.
Come work with me, move entire governments, shape elections, help us nail the bastards targeting young children on fucking playgrounds. ”
“So if she dies, we never see her again?” Ellie asks, voice trembling.
“Reunions would be rare. Annually, maybe,” O says. He gestures around the room at all of us. “But, obviously, meetings can be arranged.”
“And Van, I mean Quinn, he would…?”
“Go back to life before, as a widower. Leading the Irish, who, despite my wife’s interesting perspective, are still a major player on the world stage,” O answers.
“Command…” Luna thinks aloud.
“Yes?” Allie and Otets answer in unison.
Luna rolls her eyes, “No, I mean, you keep saying go with you. Go where?”
“Ah, yes, let me show you,” Allie says with mischief in her eyes. “We have a medbay there we can transfer you—”
“No!” Ellie surprises us all with an outburst. Mark moves to her side. “Sorry. No. She was just shot in the shoulder and hip. She needs to rest.”
“The hip was just a graze,” Allie murmurs.
“Milyy,” O calls Allie darling in Russian, “we have some time. Let’s give her twenty-four hours to recover.”
“Some time before what?” Luna asks, not missing a damn thing. Allie gives O a smug look and he raises his brows at her as if to say, you were right.
“We cannot leave the Russian ambush unanswered. Or Skulls Quinn wouldn’t. The Russians didn’t act alone,” my adoptive mother eyes me warily.
“The Remnant,” Luna interjects.
“Very good,” O smiles down at my wife. The sight makes my chest tight.
“Yes, there is a small few of the old guard who don’t believe Quinn junior should be don.
That he’s not ruthless enough. Quinn, by our design, hasn’t pushed for growth.
His reclusive nature has weakened the Irish position and they don’t approve.
They helped the Russians move in unnoticed that night. ”
“Unnoticed by my men on the ground, you mean,” I grumble.
“Enough, moy syn, we could not act or we would have,” Allie scolds me.
“So Quinn has to act. You’re a part of the story, since you shot the Volotov heirs, we just have to decide your role.”
“Wouldn’t…” Luna frowns, “Wouldn’t it be best for me to go home? Figure out Papa’s secrets.”
“Do you think you can?” Allie asks, “You were there, in his study every night. Clearly he’s hidden his tracks well.” Luna’s face falls, so Allie goes on, “That’s not a reflection on you. I’d be surprised if even Bosco knew the truth. Not the whole of it, anyway.”
“I didn’t know what to look for before, with your help, I’m sure I could get deeper, learn more,” she says, determined and angry and so beautiful…as she plots to leave me forever. Fuck!
“You can’t kill him,” I say, a last ditch effort to keep her close to me.
“That’s true. You’ll have to hide your anger, disgust, your disloyalty,” O agrees.
Luna frowns, “For how long?”
“As long as necessary,” is O’s answer. I grunt. Mark does too. It’s a phrase we’ve all heard a million times.
“What?” She says, looking around the room.
“It is…not easy,” I explain. “Living with the enemy, biding your time.” Mark grunts in agreement again.
I jut my chin toward him, “He has to see her uncle and remain calm. Almost every night I feed my father, letting him die slowly and painfully. When I want to run him through. I almost shot him during the attack.”
“Why didn’t you?” Luna asks me.
Brian’s pained face flashes before my eyes, “Because death is still too fucking good for him.”
“You have proven yourself patient, meticulous. You can do it,” Allie encourages her.
“But it’s a shit burden to bear, Luna. Stay away from him, keep yourself from having to see his face,” I plead.
“And stay with you?” She scoffs.
I step forward but Allie does too, eager as she repeats, “Or come with me.”
“Okay, okay,” Ellie moves toward the bed with her hands out. “Lu, you have your options and ideas and your pulse is going crazy. You need to rest. I’ll sedate you if I have to.”
“We have matters to attend to,” O says to Allie. She rolls her eyes and then nods. My parents turn to my wife, “You’ll be collected in a couple days. You can weigh your options then.” O shifts to me, “You go tend to your wounded.”
“My wounded are right here,” I say, meaning it.
“Just go, Qu—Va—just go. Mac needs you. Sheila, everyone. They need you,” and I don’t is what Luna is saying. She locks eyes with me, “Go.”
I freeze, clenching my jaw so hard I prompt a headache.
My parents leave the room and Mark follows. Ellie looks at me, then my wife, then me again. She offers a sad smile that I hate, because she can see what I’m trying to ignore. Luna doesn't want me here.
Fighting the urge to rush to her, to grab her delicate face and beg for forgiveness, beg for her love, I stay rooted. She sniffs and looks everywhere but at me. Years seem to pass in the next few seconds.
Finally I try again, because I have to. My voice is gritty on its way out, “Mac can handle it.” She shakes her head and starts to argue so I keep talking, “I didn’t have control, surely you see that now.
I couldn’t tell you anything, I wanted to.
I asked you over and over, because I hoped you’d join me, see me, want me.
Then I was going to take you to the shack on my own terms, after I could explain that—”
“Bullshit!” She looks at me again, furious. It’s a welcome sight, her face finally glaring at me. “How can I possibly know this wasn’t the plan all along? To pretend to fall for me. To get me to join your big crusade. Maybe the attack was fake! Maybe O killed Shae!”
“No.”
“You don’t know that for sure!”
“I do. They gave us a heads up but my comms were off because I was on my way to find you. Yes, they let the attack happen. They underestimated the artillery the Russians had in their vans. We always spare women and children. We never let innocents die.”
“And was she an innocent? What if she was sniffing around your shack and Allie decided to have her shot by accident?”
“I know you don’t know them but Luna that’s my mother, my father.
I would give my life for them, gladly. I trust them with every second of every day.
Hell, I trust them with you. I mean it, I’ll stage my death today.
Make you the don and support you from the shadows.
I’ll live and die in that bunker underground, serving the cause, knowing up top they have your six.
Knowing they’ll never let anything happen to you. ”
“Uh,” she opens her arms and looks at her bandages.
At that, I smirk. “That was all you, Mancini. You went rogue and lied for me and shot up a medspa on behalf of me and my family. Your family…if you want us.” If you want me.
“I don’t know what I want anymore,” she says quietly.
“I want you,” I blurt out. Her eyes flick to mine, then to the window.
“I understand you have your doubts but like Allie said before, you weren’t the plan.
You weren’t a target. I was trying to focus on my mission and pretend you weren’t there.
Fat fucking chance I had. You invaded the moment I saw you in that tropical shitshow dinner. ”
“What?”
Finally, I have her attention. I move to her bedside and go on, “You were acting, I knew, but even then. Who the hell stages a circus wedding with a damn elephant just for show? Who in the world is that determined? You are the most interesting, infuriating, intoxicating person I’ve ever met.
I was doomed to love you from the start, Lasa.
Then the real you? Your mind and your skills and your stubborn strength?
Fucking forget about it. Please, baby, give us, give me, another shot. A real one.”
“Nothing is real, Quinn,” she scoffs but there’s no anger behind it. Just resignation. Like she’s done.
Shit, you’re losing her man! Do something!
I grab her hand and press it to my chest. “This is real, feel it. My pulse. I’ve killed my own brother, been shot, tortured, almost had my secret identity blown multiple times and nothing nothing has scared me like this—the idea that you might disappear with Allie and never spar with me again.
Baby,” my voice cracks, “I only just got you, I can’t lose you already. ”
She pulls her hand away.
“You never had me, Van. Not really. Please,” she sniffs, “just go.”
NO! Everything in me screams. But she’s shaking. She needs to rest and to think. I lean down and kiss her head.
“I’ll be back soon,” I say. I turn and leave the room but I am staying. The mission can live on without me. Command and their plans be damned.
No matter what, I’m not leaving her.
Now I just have to pray to God she doesn’t choose to leave me.