Chapter 13 Desmond
DESMOND
Iwas on the tennis courts early the next morning with my buddy Sean.
“There,” he yelled, whacking the ball with the edge of his racket, sending it spinning over the net.
It barely made it an inch over the net, and I had to run up to the front.
“Argh,” I shouted, just as I got the ball in the tip of my racket and sent it flying back to the opposite side of Sean’s court.
He grunted and reached out, catching the ball just in time. He got the ball over to my side of the net before he stumbled.
It had been eighteen hours since I’d seen Ava, but I hadn’t heard a word from her.
I wanted to text her. I was also digging my heels in because I didn’t understand wanting to see a woman as badly as I did Ava.
I’d spent years keeping the women I dated at a comfortable distance, and I thought I’d perfected the system.
I didn’t get close enough to the point where I’d develop feelings for them.
With feelings came fears, I’d realized, and I had no need for either.
But Ava wasn’t any woman. She was my friend, the one true love from my past, and also a woman I desperately needed to apologize to.
I owed her a more honest explanation for why I’d left her so abruptly years ago.
The one I’d given her in the car wasn’t the complete truth.
The truth, if I could speak it, would unfortunately make her feel worse, and I didn’t want that for her.
“Jeez, Desmond,” Sean shouted, panting as I hit the tennis ball cleanly over the net. It just bounced within the boundary line before rolling away.
I threw my arms up in a forced victory stance before walking up to the net.
On most days, winning against Sean was enough to put me in a good mood, but not today.
Just like how the sight of the sky lighting up in the distance at six thirty a.m. and the hushed silence over the club’s courts would make me feel like I was on top of the world.
Today, my excitement was a tad bit dampened.
“Good match,” Sean said, walking from his side to do a fist bump. “I’m fairly awake now, but never again wake me up at five for a game of tennis, you heartless, corporate workaholic.”
I cocked one eyebrow. Thirty-year-old Sean was one of my partners at the Lead Capital Group, along with Alexander and Jonah.
He was a father of an adorable son, and a leader of the largest e-commerce companies in the country—one that sold every electronic device imaginable.
He was also one of the few people who knew me well.
He could get away with calling me a lot of names, but workaholic?
“We both are heartless, corporate workaholics,” I reminded him. “Besides, are you so sure that you’d have beaten me if I’d challenged you to a match at eight a.m. instead of five?”
“Definitely,” Sean said, taking his ball from a lanky teenage ball boy, another of the early morning employees at the Fairhill Luxury Club’s tennis courts.
“How about a second match now to put those doubts to rest?” I asked, gesturing to the empty court.
Two games might be pushing it since I had to get to work soon. Still, I couldn’t help but torment Sean.
Sean groaned and reached out to take my tennis racket out of my hand and hide it behind him.
“I give in. You win fair and square, Desmond. You’d have won even if you’d challenged me to a match at eight a.m. There.
I wish Alex and Jonah could’ve joined us, but Alex is too busy with his new girlfriend, and Jonah hates tennis. ”
“I need to thank my lucky stars that you and I never do serious relationships. We’d never have time to meet up for a game otherwise,” I added.
He feigned punching me in the arm, but stopped short of doing real damage. “I hate that you’re always so accurate. Who’ll I play with if you fall for someone, Desmond?” he asked while he reached for his bottle of water and took a sip.
“Me, fall for someone?” I responded with a laugh. “That seems unlikely.”
It didn’t help that right at this instant, an image of Ava Hale crossed my mind.
I pushed it away firmly. She was an employee now, no matter how much I regretted it, and she was out of bounds.
I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t risk her career because I was attracted to her.
It wasn’t fair to her when I could see how badly she wanted her mom’s restaurant back.
Sean shook his head and put his bottle back in his bag. “I’ve known you for seven years, and I’ve never once seen you besotted. Though you came pretty close when you met that beautiful tennis player—”
“Naomi Osaka.” I smiled, remembering a quick trip to see the Australian Open, where she’d played a fantastic game.
“I knew you were watching me, Sean, when I got to congratulate her, so I had to disappoint you. But you’re right.
I don’t think I have it in me anymore to go all out for a woman.
That’s something men do in their wild teens.
Not when they are in their late twenties. ”
Sean scoffed, and I shook my head with a small grin.
He didn’t know me in high school, I think. If he had … he’d believe otherwise.
Perhaps that had been the experience that taught me to never go fully in. To guard my heart as closely as I guarded my family.
“Besides,” I added easily, “I’m the heartless, corporate workaholic, remember? Got my identity to protect.”
I grinned, and we stood in silence, picking up our bags, ready to turn around and leave when Sean asked, “Care to tell me why you’ve been out here, playing every day this week, when you usually only trouble me on Sundays?”
I smiled at him, bemused that he’d caught this aberration. “You think you know me so well?” I asked.
Sean nodded, taking a swig of his bottle of water. “You’re a man of habit, Desmond. I know you too well. You were my roommate back in college, and I knew how much of a mess you were in your first year.”
Perhaps seeing Ava had thrown me off my habitual routines. I considered admitting to Sean that I had run into a high school girlfriend when his words hit me, and it made me catch my breath.
I had been a mess in college because I was still grieving a year after Mom’s death. And Ava was still grieving now, and she probably didn’t know it. I could see it—the signs of grief in her. Her inability to discuss her mom and her lack of interest in caring for herself.
If anything, my experience with grief should help me alleviate that for her a little.