Chapter 24 Ava #2
“No, it’s not news about us—not yet anyway,” he said, running his hand through his hair and looking a little distraught. “It’s just a nasty piece of gossip about”—his lips pressed in a flat line—“well, that Kyle bedded you just so he could embezzle from your restaurant.”
Damn.
I would be lying to myself if I said that thought hadn’t taken up residence in my mind in the past. In the dark days after Mom’s death, I had almost convinced myself of it. It had taken the strength of my friends and hours of therapy to stop blaming myself for what had happened.
I looked at Desmond, and I saw that his jaw was clenched and his light-brown eyes showed a hint of the turmoil I felt myself.
“When I read that, I almost wanted Stan to drive me over to that journalist’s place to have it out with them. How dare they insinuate something so pitiable?”
So far, this had been a wonderful night. The idea that a gossip article could ruin it was ridiculous. And yet, here we were, talking about Kyle on our night together.
I put my hand over Desmond’s. He felt cold.
“I’ve gotten over it, darling. It was so long ago.”
He nodded. “And there’s another thing,” he said, taking my hand in his and rubbing his thumb on the back of mine.
“When I saw Hank waiting for you in the lobby … well, when I watched you two talking and flirting, my heart twisted with jealousy. I’d been longing for you for so long, and the thought that I couldn’t have you made me jealous like I’d never been before. ”
Desmond, back in high school, had not been a guy who did jealousy.
Back then, I’d looked up to him as the calmest and most sorted person I’d ever known.
Which meant his mother’s death changed quite a few things about him.
A lot had changed with him and with me, and yet we were around each other, wishing we could go back to a relationship.
We wanted to go back to a time and a feeling that couldn’t be re-created. Not when we both were so different.
He continued, “And the odd thing was, every time I came across one of these malicious articles against any employee in my company, I always felt anger on behalf of my company first. Anger at these magazines for bringing down my company’s brand. Even when it involved an accusation against me.”
He gave my hand a squeeze, and his full lips parted in a small smile. “Today was the first time I felt angry on someone else’s behalf. I was mad that someone would try to ruin your image more than I was mad at someone trying to ruin my company’s image.”
He let go of my hand. “To be honest, I’m not sure what to do with this revelation,” he said.
I watched him for a bit and then leaned over.
“Well,” I said slowly, working through my feelings, “when I saw you that night at the party with Ellie, I felt like I wanted the earth to just swallow me up. Like I couldn’t stand seeing you with anyone else but me.
” I looked at him, feeling vulnerable. “That feeling only intensified as the days passed and after we shared the most wonderful kiss. A kiss that made me feel like I was floating on clouds.”
I paused. “So, if I were to read an article about you having a relationship with anyone else, I’d be upset. I’d be upset about being the woman Desmond wasn’t supposed to kiss.
“And every time I look at Ellie, the woman you are supposed to kiss”—I spoke fast before he could interrupt—“a beautiful woman, a woman who probably makes the right decision when she has to choose between chardonnay and pinot noir on a hot summer day, I think to myself, Why would Desmond want to see me again?”
He leaned forward and squeezed my hand, thick, warm fingers intertwining between my smaller ones.
“I do.” He lowered his voice. “After ten years, nothing about my feelings for you have changed, sweetheart. Even if it means we have to be discreet and can only see each other outside of work, I want to see you again and again.”
“You mean, another night together?”
He tilted his head to the right just a little bit and considered. “Maybe more than just one?”
“So, like, two nights? Two Friday nights? We see each other for two weeks then?”
Desmond leaned over. “Do I need to give you a checkout date in advance?”
I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. “Sorry, it’s just a habit. I’m not good with—”
“Uncertainty,” he said with a smile. “I remember. You’d ask our high school teachers to give you lists of courses that were safe because you couldn’t risk failing.”
I laughed and pulled my hand away, feeling both embarrassed at my teenage self and excited that Desmond remembered so much. A thrill snaked up my body at the idea of meeting Desmond again and again. So much for this being a onetime thing.
Desmond reached for my hand again. “And by the way,” he said with a quick look up at me, “I bet you’d know the right answer when it comes to deciding between chardonnay and pinot noir on a hot summer day too.”
I laughed at that. It had been years since I had gone out with a man who I knew would always hold me in high regard. I would certainly miss that when Desmond was gone.
“I have a feeling I’d need to see you a great many times before I could get enough of you,” he said, his voice deep as he looked at me in a way that made me feel the intensity of his words.
My heart began to race as I felt the excitement at the idea of the weeks ahead. The two of us, back together, in the privacy of our homes. We didn’t need anything else really.
I intertwined our fingers together and said, “I can’t imagine anything better.”