27. Chloe
27
CHLOE
T he next week passed by in a blur.
At work, Sean still maintained a hefty distance from me.
Even if his eyes blazed intensely every time we crossed paths.
For my part, the attraction was undeniable.
I couldn’t stop thinking about our kiss, my skin heating with the memory and my core clenching tight with need.
But he was a mystery.
And not just to me, I realized.
I accompanied him to one of the lower floors for a meeting, and I saw the chaos he left in his wake when he walked out of the meeting.
When he took off, back into the elevator, alone, cubicles transformed into mini sanctuaries.
“It really was him!”
“I’ve worked here for five years and never once seen him!”
On Tuesday, Sean took advantage of a light day at work.
He canceled his meetings to take Lucas and me to spend the day at the Central Park Zoo.
My pulse pounded in my veins the entire time with how near Sean was to me.
But he was strangely distant, and Lucas was a good buffer for our tension.
I could see that Sean was trying, engaging Lucas in conversation as much as he could.
While being around Sean and not touching him was a new kind of torture, I enjoyed seeing Sean as the dad.
He was sincerely trying, and combined with an adorable Lucas, they made a great father-son combination.
Emboldened by the success of that day, Sean took Lucas by himself to the Intrepid Museum the next day.
At the end of the day, when Sean brought Lucas back to the office to grab some papers, I asked Lucas about his visit.
He told me it was like stepping into a real-life action movie with aircraft carriers and space shuttles.
He also added in a small voice that he wished I could have been there.
So, I still had miles to go with helping Sean bond with him.
I kept that bit of information to myself, afraid of ruining Sean’s burgeoning optimism about his relationship with his son.
Recently, I’d seen Sean making calls to Lucas from work, checking in with him midday and even asking him if he had ideas for where he wanted to spend the weekend.
He’d even go as far as calling him buddy every time they spoke.
By the time Thursday rolled around, I tried to push thoughts of Sean out of my mind.
I was both nervous and worried about my date.
I really needed this date to go well because I really needed to get over Sean.
I wrapped up work quickly, buying myself time to get ready at home before Will showed up.
I looked in Sean’s office multiple times as the afternoon came to a close, but he firmly stayed out of it all day.
I knew his schedule by heart and that he was at work today, but he’d chosen to take most of his meetings at restaurants or conference rooms on other floors.
By five o’clock, when I was ready to leave, my heart was heavy as I picked up my bag and took a last look at the empty high-backed office chair in Sean’s office.
How had he managed to avoid me all day?
How had I not seen him in between meetings, like I usually did?
Lately, he had been the only one to know what was happening in my personal life, and I was hoping for a look from him to confirm I was doing the right thing.
Besides, I missed seeing him.
His presence and his occasional knowing but intense look, I realized, were a big draw for why I showed up to work eagerly every day.
I took the elevator down and waved to Charles, the security guard, as I walked out of the Tassater building before heading toward the nearest subway station.
An hour later, I was back home.
I pushed the door open, expecting to find the house empty when I saw Henry’s familiar brown hair and oval face in the kitchen.
“Henry.” I smiled as I shut the door.
He turned around from the accessible induction stove, where he had been stir-frying noodles.
“You’re on time,” he exclaimed as I walked in.
“I’m making us dinner. Your favorite—drunken noodles.”
It smelled great, and I sniffed it eagerly as I fought against my better instincts.
I was very tempted to ditch Will and have dinner with Henry instead.
This was familiar and comfortable.
“What about your social club at college?” I asked, setting my bag down.
He waved a hand in the air genially.
“A bunch of us decided to ditch the club for today and go out to the mall. I’ll take the bus at six. One of my friends, Ronan, will be on the same bus. So, you don’t need to drop me today.”
“Well,” I began, “as it happens, I’ve got some plans tonight too.”
“I know,” Henry said, turning the stove off and plating the noodles for him and me.
“Your work.”
I shook my head as I looked back at him ruefully.
“No, not my work. I’m going out with someone.”
Henry looked amazed.
“Who?” he asked.
“Someone I met at the park,” I said with a gentle shrug.
“It’s just a date,” I said, reaching for a fortune cookie and unwrapping it.
Chewing on one half of the cookie, I struggled with my composure.
“I could delay my date,” I added, but Henry scoffed at the idea.
“What’s the need for that?” he asked.
“It’s been two and a half months since your wedding got called off. You need to meet other people.”
Our eyes met over the broken fortune cookie, and I couldn’t help but think what might have happened if Bruce hadn’t broken things off back then.
If the wedding had gone through.
I’d never know.
“Well, it seemed like this was a good opportunity to move on,” I said at last. “Will is a nice guy, and this will give me a chance to forget about Bruce.” And more importantly, Sean.
“Do you like him?” Henry asked, his voice curious.
“It seemed like it was easy to talk to him,” I said, choosing my words carefully.
I refrained from telling Henry that he was the most important person to me.
I’d done it in the past, and it just irritated him.
I shouldn’t have to feel that my role as a caretaker was being threatened every time a new person entered our lives.
I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for letting another person in.
But knowing how I should feel and feeling something else entirely was the norm for me.
“But, Henry,” I said, measuring my words slowly, “it’s just a onetime thing.”
Henry said nothing for a moment.
“You need to go,” he said at last. His voice was firm.
“After my accident and after Dad left, well, I didn’t expect us to make it this far. Heck, I never thought I’d get to college myself. But look at us; we’re marching on. And irrespective of whatever’s happened, you shouldn’t have to give up fun. I have my life, and you’re starting to live yours the way it should be. I’m happy for you. So, go have fun.”
He took my untouched plate and dumped the contents into a bowl.
“Freeze it,” he said, handing the lid and the bowl over to me.
“You can eat it sometime later. But go on the date. It’s just one night.”
I took the bowl in relief, realizing that one night was doable.
One date, and then my life would go back to the same old, same old.
Once I stowed the bowl in the fridge, I headed to my room to get ready, my heart heavy.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drop you?” I asked from my doorway to my bedroom.
“The bus stop is just down the road, so I’ll be fine,” he said, but he looked stressed as he thought about it.
I pressed my lips together.
Henry loved these occasional evenings where he got to go out with his friends, but it also stressed him out.
The uncertainty over getting into the right bus and how the evening would go bothered him.
He rolled away and off to the bathroom, the wheelchair squeaking faintly while his wheels turned.
I took twenty minutes to get ready and was almost done, putting on one last coat of lipstick when the doorbell rang.
I turned to the mirror in a hurry, tying my hair up in a quick low knot before rushing out the bedroom door.
When I opened the front door, Will smiled back at me—a pleasant smile that made him look sweet.
He was dressed in a short-sleeved white button-down shirt with dark gray trousers.
He even had nice dress shoes on, which made me imagine we might be going somewhere mildly fancy.
I felt glad that my blue blouse was ironed even if my skirt was a little old.
He was looking over my shoulder when a surprised look came over him.
I turned to follow his gaze.
Henry was just exiting the bathroom, and one of his wheels had gotten stuck on the edge of the bathroom door, which was trying to fall shut.
My brief look at Will was enough for me to notice the change that had come over him.
He looked pale, shifting his weight from one foot to another.
His jaw was tight, and beads of sweat shone on his forehead.
When he finally found his tongue, he stumbled over his words.
“Oh. He—hey. Hi.”
Behind me, Henry cursed.
I turned and saw that Henry was not looking up, but pushing himself backward and forward to get unstuck.
“Hang on,” I said over my shoulder to Will as I ran back to Henry.
Leaning over, I held the door in place while Henry took his wheelchair back and rolled out and away from the frustrating door.
He was panting with the exertion when he let loose a few colorful expletives, glaring at the damn bathroom door.
“Going to the bathroom is already so difficult,” he shouted.
“The damn door makes it worse.”
I mentally cursed the door myself, having seen Henry struggle with this a few times before.
We needed a door that was heavier and one that didn’t shut before Henry got a chance to roll out of the bathroom.
“I’m really sorry, Henry. I’ll speak to the landlord about it again.”
“Don’t bother. The bastard does nothing for us. Nothing. ”
Henry’s vehemence wasn’t surprising to me.
Routines made life easy, and tonight, he was going out—against his routine.
He needed to get to the bus on time, and I could see his underlying stress through his anger.
I just made a mental note to be firmer with my landlord next when Henry spoke.
“When is your date getting here?” he asked between deep breaths, looking at me.
I turned back to the front door, ready to make the introductions when I noticed something strange.
The doorway was empty.
“He’s out there already,” I said, rushing out and grabbing my handbag on my way.
“Bye,” I called as I shut the door, and Henry waved.
My palms felt clammy as I let go of the door and looked around.
I tried to convince myself that Will was just waiting outside, giving us some privacy, but he wasn’t in sight.
I stood outside the front door, chest heaving as I looked up and down the road.
A few vehicles passed by with drivers I didn’t recognize.
I saw a row of parked cars on the street and wondered if he was waiting inside one of them.
I shut the door behind me and raced down the street, checking each individual car for a sign of Will.
I didn’t find him.
I reached the end of the block and looked to my right and left.
Apart from a drunk man sitting on the sidewalk in a daze and people lined up outside of a nearby ramen shop, there was nobody I recognized.
Where did Will disappear to?
And why?
I reached for my phone and called Will, my heart racing.
Please, oh please, let this not be what I think it is.
I called him twice, and each time, I got voice mail.
Feeling the inevitable sense of despair, I left him a message at last, asking him what was going on in a shaking voice.
Did Will just disappear because he’d been nervous about what he witnessed happening to Henry?
I couldn’t help making the obvious connection.
Will had reminded me of every single important but unreliable man in my life so far who had been unable to cope with Henry’s needs.
My dad and Bruce. They’d been the same.
I looked around helplessly when, a second later, I got a call from Henry.
“Hey, did you find him?” Henry asked over the phone.
I bit my lip. “Yes,” I lied, determined not to make a big deal of this.
“Great. You guys should have fun. And stay out all night long if you want to. You deserve to relax a bit.”
Was my younger brother really telling me to get it on?
“I still don’t understand why you went out with a jerk like Bruce. He was horrible to you. I hope the new guy is miles better,” he said.
I froze when I heard his words, not wanting to tell him I’d been stood up.
“He is,” I responded to my brother, feeling my mouth dry up.
“I will be back soon,” I said and hung up.
Feeling distraught, I sauntered down the desolate sidewalk, determined not to go back for a while.
I didn’t want Henry to have a clue that I’d been stood up because that would only break me more.
In the end, this was the outcome I was comfortable with even if I was angry at Will for ditching me.
It just confirmed my belief that dating was not for us.
‘The Nichols siblings stick together.’
Because the world won’t stick by us.
My phone lit up with another text, and a flare of hope surged through me.
Was it Will perhaps, texting me with an apology?
Even if he did apologize, would I accept it?