30. Chloe
30
CHLOE
I t was a message from Will, apologizing for his abrupt departure with a lame, Something came up .
The jerk.
Something about the way I was looking at my phone tipped Sean off.
“Did Will contact you again?”
When I looked back at him, he had his answer.
I didn’t even need to nod.
“I assumed the way he’d treated you meant it was the end of Will and you?” he said with a scowl.
I’d thought so too.
I set my phone down on the table.
“I don’t know what to think about it all actually,” I said.
He frowned. “Will is not the right man for you.”
I shook my head.
“It doesn’t matter. The incident with Will reminded me why I never go out on dates anymore,” I said.
“So, I wouldn’t attempt to go out with him again even if you weren’t around, making snarky remarks about Will.”
His brown eyes held mine.
Long ago, I’d resolved to never make Henry never feel like he was a burden to me, but I’d partially understood that my partners might not feel the same.
It looked like he was a burden to them, and they always left.
He took another bite of his omakase nigiri sushi before speaking.
“What do you mean, you never go out on dates? You were engaged to Bruce until recently.”
I spoke slowly.
“I never really was in the dating game before, to be honest. Bruce and I, well, it happened organically because we were around each other so often.”
Sean raised his eyebrows, and I continued, “With Bruce, it was our connection with Henry that brought us together. Bruce was working at the therapist’s office, and we would meet and chat weekly while I waited for Henry’s therapy session to be done. It was a year before I agreed to go out with him. He helped Henry a lot with finding appointments on short notice.”
Henry had gotten physical therapy, but I didn’t clarify that bit to Sean, allowing him to draw his own conclusions.
He leaned forward, his arms on the table.
I could smell his aftershave, something I’d become familiar with at work.
Sniffing it here, under soft overhead lights, felt different.
It made me look at him differently.
To take in the fine angles of his face, the broad cheekbones, and the cut of his jaw and wonder why a man like him was single.
“If Henry’s recovered, why won’t you be back in the dating game again?”
My stomach dropped.
Of course, he was asking me if I would date someone else after fingering me in a restaurant.
He was a jerk of the highest order.
“You’re smart, beautiful, and unbearably cheerful, even around a grump like me.”
His abrupt shift took me by surprise.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit smitten by his unexpected compliment, but I reminded myself that it was just that.
Empty words that meant nothing.
Words people uttered never meant much, and I was used to that, so I shrugged the compliment off.
Besides, Sean was giving me such mixed signals that I was confused.
“Henry has recovered, but he still needs me. Most people leave when they realize how much time Henry needs from me. Friends, classmates, dates …” Even our dad .
I felt embarrassed when I realized the list was longer than I’d previously accounted for.
“So, you’re the sole caretaker for Henry, is it?” Sean asked, his eyes shrewd.
I didn’t need to nod this time, but the vulnerability in my expression must have been enough because he didn’t press for more.
“Let’s stop talking about me,” I said, taking a sip of my wine and feeling bold enough to ask a question that was on my lips.
“Tell me, Sean, why are you still single?”
“Ah, the tables have turned, I see.”
I nodded, grinning.
“I get to interrogate you about your single status now.”
He swallowed his mouthful, staring at his half-eaten plate for a long moment.
“Well …” He paused, and in that instant, I saw a determined look cross his face and knew he didn’t want to go there tonight.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t date,” he said lightly.
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, women still find you interesting. Quite a few men frowned at you while their dates ogled you when you walked into this restaurant.”
He laughed.
“I didn’t notice.” His voice lowered even more.
“Perhaps it’s because I was looking at you.”
I blushed just as the server came up to clear away our empty plates.
“But to answer your question more honestly, my last relationship was over a year and a half ago. With every woman I dated, I’d start seeing too many similarities between her and my ex-wife. I didn’t want those reminders, so I decided to keep things simple. Nothing serious, nothing that lasted longer than a month, and only on weekends.”
There was more to why he was against love, but he wasn’t opening up completely just yet.
“Moving on to lighter topics, how do you feel about dessert?” Sean asked while I stared at the dessert card.
I read the first item—matcha white chocolate mousse with yuzu sorbet—with interest. I had no idea what yuzu was, and I wasn’t going to ask.
And what was a ganache au chocolat?
Everything looked delicious on it.
I bet Henry would enjoy this place , I thought wistfully.
Something on my face must have given me away because Sean looked up.
“I’ll get two of each of the desserts to go,” he told the waiter, who nodded.
I looked at him in surprise.
“It’s for you to take home,” he said in a gruff voice.
“You had the look on your face that said you’d feel guilty for eating it alone.”
I would.
“You know, I have a theory about why you’re single.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Really?”
He pretended to not care, but I could see a hint of fear in his eyes.
He had dated quite a few women, I was sure, since his divorce.
But none of them had lasted because someone had left a very solid, painful mark.
I inhaled. “You know what I think?” I asked quietly.
“I think you’re a very competitive man. You need to be in control all the time. But you can’t control personal relationships, can you? The success of a relationship isn’t only on you. They’re on both of you. So, you’re afraid of long-term relationships because they remind you of the one time you think you lost control. The one time you think you failed.”
He shook his head, his expression a mixture of frustration and longing as he looked back at me.
“The only thing your psychological skills do is remind me that I made a good choice in finding you to help me repair my relationship with Lucas.”
We were just inches away, unable to tear our eyes off one another.
Was it just my presence with Lucas that he was grateful for?
My stomach bottomed out, and I felt like I could be sick.
I tore my eyes away from him when Traci swung by.
She had brought us six to-go boxes with delicious smells of raspberry, sugar, and chocolate wafting out of them.
I turned to Sean. “Take half of these home,” I told him.
“I bet Lucas would enjoy them too.”
Sean’s voice was hoarse.
“You never forget our deal with Lucas, do you?” He sounded like he regretted it.
“But hold on. Let me ask Traci to divide this up.”
Sean spoke a few words to Traci, and I turned around to pick up my jacket when I noticed the tip that Sean had left.
He left a thousand-dollar tip!
Talking with Sean had been so easy that, for the past hour, I had forgotten the vast disparity between our lifestyles.
But this was the reality check I’d needed.
I didn’t do dinners with men like him.
We stepped out into the cool night air, and the city lights twinkled back at me merrily.
Sean’s hand was on the lower part of my back as the black car pulled up to us.
Once again, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t want this night to end.
When we walked out to the waiting car, Sean held the door open for me just as Traci came out with brown paper bags.
It looked like she was having a hard time speaking as he placed the bags in the car.
“Oh, thank you, Mr. Tassater,” she blurted as she turned to him.
“That was so very generous of you.”
Sean made sure I was fully in the limo before he shut the door and nodded at her.
“Take care, Traci,” he said before he walked around to the other side and got in next to me.
He looked ahead at Chris, our driver, and said, “Chloe’s home, please.”
Chris nodded before he pulled the separator up between him and us.
I turned to Sean, forgetting all about the tip.
Sean would drop me off at my doorstep like a perfect gentleman.
I felt my heart quicken, but for all the wrong reasons.
Henry would answer the door—I was sure of it.
Sean would see him, and I didn’t want the pity and sympathy that would take over him instantly.
It would change the way Sean looked at me, and I didn’t want that.
“Could you drop me off a few blocks away from my apartment, please?” I asked.