40. Sean
40
SEAN
T he way she smiled made my heart squeeze with happiness.
“You can,” she said softly in a pleased voice.
“But wait,” I said, and she paused as she was about to move.
I reached over, rubbing my thumbs over her cheeks, removing traces of her tears.
She might not have wanted me to witness her fears and vulnerabilities while she cried over Henry, but I had to do this for her.
“I think Henry wouldn’t like to see that you’ve been crying all this time.”
When I removed my thumbs from her cheeks, she gripped my wrist.
“I did think about Will after he came to my apartment,” she said, her voice low but sure, as she absently interlinked her fingers with mine.
Tingles ran up my arms. “But I realized he was nothing in comparison to you.” Her words sounded sincere.
She saw my stunned silence and smiled.
“I was surprised too,” she said, as the soft caress of her fingers against mine stopped.
“Walk with me, please? The dean said Henry would be here,” she said, turning and leading the way to the ambulance, and I followed her, wishing that I could clasp the hand that had grazed mine as we walked.
If we were strictly physical, what were these emotions doing, taking up space in my heart?
I’d never known and felt jealousy, possessiveness, and tenderness at the same time.
And that was my clue that I needed more of her.
The clue that should have sent me fleeing the scene.
Instead, unable to keep away, I followed.
Henry surprised me even more.
I watched from ten feet away, where I wouldn’t interfere.
My respect for him increased when I noticed that he was calm and even humorous after the ordeal.
He joked about something, and I could see a few people around him crack a smile, and then he took care of Chloe in his own way.
He made sure that she had water to drink and that she ate some of the granola bars from his bag before they headed to the bus stop.
Henry proved what I had suspected the last time we met—that he had a solid head on his shoulders.
Chloe looked tired from the last few hours while she waited at the bus stop, her hand resting on the back of Henry’s wheelchair.
I fought the urge to go over and ask if I could help in any way.
Henry was on the phone, presumably speaking to friends.
Going by the number of people who walked up to them, checking on him, clapping him encouragingly on the shoulder, a lot of people cared about him.
When the bus showed up, the bus driver took a few minutes to lower the ramp and buckle Henry in.
I walked back to my Rolls-Royce, wishing I were there on that bus, shifting closer and closer to Chloe until my body was flush with hers, instead of being in my car.
But I set my jaw and walked back, asking Chris to follow the bus.
Erin was landing later that night, and I’d originally planned to ask Chloe about what I could do for Erin.
But I couldn’t ask anything of Chloe at this moment, and I certainly couldn’t let Chloe go without making sure she really was okay.
Occasionally, while Chris and I followed the bus, I could see Chloe leaning her weary head against the window.
That sight tore at something in my chest.
How the fuck was I not able to protect her and Henry?
My heart felt like it was being split in two.
I was realizing the tight control I tried to maintain around Chloe was weakening.
When the bus stopped outside her apartment, I asked Chris to park a little farther off and walked over after seeing Henry pushing in through the door of their apartment.
“I’ll lie down for a bit,” I heard him call out.
Chloe turned around, as if she could feel my presence, and smiled when she saw I had followed them home.
She took a quick look through the door before shutting it gently and running over to me.
I opened my arms, and she leaned into me, hugging me back hard.
“Thank you,” she said while I pulled her into my chest firmly.
She clung back, equally desperate, as if fearful that I might just be her imagination.
“For everything. Today has been hard in so many ways, but you made it easier. Just by being there. For showing me you have my back.”
For a second, my mind went blank, followed by another blank second and another.
It was an odd, weightless feeling, like earning Chloe's complete trust was the greatest milestone I’d ever achieved. As I stood, enveloped by her, her hands wrapped tightly around my back, her breath on my chest, I felt like I had just climbed a mountain and conquered it.
She hesitated for a moment. “Did this change the way you look at me? Running and worrying over Henry—it’s not a particularly sexy look on a woman you’re considering go?—”
“Chloe,” I said firmly, determined to make the woman stop. “The only thing this incident has done is make me admire you even more.”
She looked nonplussed, and after a few attempts at speaking, she finally said, “That’s … well, good.”
My hands ran soothingly up and down her back as her body relaxed against mine. Her heart beating in rhythm against mine.
Her brow creased as she looked at me. “Oh my God. It just hit me. Aren’t you supposed to be at your conference? Weren’t you supposed to have a meeting with the UK’s Secretary of State for Business?—”
“Stop,” I said, bringing my thumb over her brow, smoothing the crease. She was right. Not just Mark Waldorf, but I’d blown the UK’s Secretary of State off too. I’d do damage control later, but now, my time was Chloe’s.
She relaxed against my touch, her eyes fluttering closed for a quick second. I could see from her expression that she needed sleep and food, probably in the reverse order.
“Do you have anything for dinner for you and Henry?” I asked, and her eyes opened right away, concern shining through them.
She bit her lip and shook her head. I pulled her to me and pressed a kiss to the wrinkle in her forehead that had chosen to reappear.
“I’ll handle it; don’t worry. What do you like?”
“Henry likes Ital—” she began, but I shook my head.
“What do you like?” I asked her.
She sighed and closed her eyes. “I hate to be demanding, but since you asked, I ought to let you know that I’d love some pad thai.”
“Done,” I said, planting another quick kiss, this time on her cheek. “It’s not one bit demanding at all.”
I wanted to ask her out, to take the next step, but now wasn’t the right time.
“Chloe, there’s something you should know,” I said, speaking fast before I could change my mind. “The flowers I asked you to have deliver for me … they were for my mom.”
Confusion flicked across her face as she tilted her head at me, strands of her blonde hair falling loose from her hair tie.
“When I said earlier that my parents weren’t around—well, my dad passed on, but my mom is still alive. But I’ve distanced myself from her, Chloe, for reasons I’ll tell you about later. She brings back too many unhappy memories of my childhood, ones where I was left alone and neglected. It isn’t pretty, and someday, I’ll give you the entire story. But I want you to know that I’m not harboring thoughts of any other woman except you.”
Her lips extended in her signature pretty smile, the genuine one that made my heart swell with happiness. She nodded.
“Thank you for choosing to be honest with me. But also, Sean,” she began just as I was about to pull her closer, “I don’t want to go so long without hearing from you again.”
I loved hearing that it was too long for her because it had been too long for me too.
“When I realized you’d met with Will, I felt even more jealous than I had known I could be. So, I agree,” I said gruffly. “It won’t happen again.”
“You were jealous?” She sounded and looked incredulous. And a teeny, tiny bit pleased, too, if I was reading her correctly.
I nodded. “I’m jealous that you got to spend time with him when it should have been with me. And if I’m being honest, I didn’t know I could feel that way.” I ran a hand through my dark brown hair as I looked away for a second. “The idea of another man getting you flowers—well, that makes my blood boil. And especially because that man is Will. I hate him for standing you up on your date, and I hate him even more for thinking he could just show up days later and get a second chance with you. You’re special, Chloe, and I’m not the only man who sees that.”
She reached up and pressed her palm against my cheek. Heat rushed through me.
“Oh, Sean,” she whispered, her lips parting as her eyes darted around my face, searching me. She finally took a deep breath and met me at eye level. “When I went for a walk with Will,” she began as my throat tightened at her words, “I felt nothing. I was restless, if anything, because he couldn’t make me laugh. He didn’t infuriate me either, like you do. We talked for an hour, and in that time, I realized I didn’t care about him at all. When I’m with you, you draw me out and make me talk about myself—heck, you even make me forget about my troubles. One minute with you is worth more to me than an hour with him. He doesn’t compare to you one bit.
“So, my answer to your question from a couple of days ago is yes . I’d love to go out with you, Sean. Even if it’s the craziest, stupidest thing to do as your personal assistant?—”
My breath caught in my chest at those words.
I cut her words off with a passionate kiss, and her warm, soft lips met mine. A shiver ran down my spine, and I placed my hands on her hips, pressing her body to mine. The kiss intensified, and she parted her lips for me as my tongue stroked hers. I brushed my hands up her arms, finding the base of her neck and tilting her head to deepen the kiss. I wanted to kiss her neck, to move lower, wishing I could get her to a bed and undress her.
A distant noise from her apartment woke us to the notion that we didn’t have much time. Henry was calling her name. I lifted my head regretfully, my erection hard and straining against my pants. Chloe took a step back, and I let my arms fall to my sides.
She looked dazed, her cheeks flushed, and her big blue eyes were staring back at me with genuine admiration.
My body felt hot, and my clothes felt too tight. I could see the desire in her eyes, mirroring my own.
“I need to get back,” she said regretfully with a look over her shoulder.
“I understand,” I said, even as my need for her thrummed in my veins. I wished she didn’t have to.
It was better this way though. The two of us were too engrossed in our own lives—her with her brother and me with my decision to never get serious.
I stepped in for a quick goodbye kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow. At work. And if you can slip away from home tomorrow evening …” I stopped, and Chloe held her breath, lips parting. “I’m taking you out, sweetheart.”
The happiness I saw on her face made me feel like I was on top of the world. When I got into my car, the logical part of my brain noted that I wasn’t usually this thrilled about seeing a woman again. Something was different this time around.
I had no reason to worry though because she had a life that revolved around her brother. We’d never get too serious about each other, and I preferred the safety net that our busy lives gave us.
All of life was a transaction, I’d realized long ago. With wealth and power, even more so.
Chloe worked well for me. She didn’t care about my money or power—that I was confident about. That assurance helped me show her bits of my true self, let me live a life that I would have had if I hadn’t built Tassater Inc.
When Dad had drilled into me that loyalty was nonexistent, I’d scoffed at him. Being cheated on by Helen had drilled into me the very words I’d heard at the dinner table from my dad each night, growing up. I’d not only seen Mom leave, but also experienced the heartbreak myself with Helen. I couldn’t go down that path again.
Chloe and I would be temporary—that much was sure.