45. Chloe
45
CHLOE
I looked out the window at the lights as we rode through the city.
People walked on footpaths in a mad rush, and I realized this was the third time I was headed somewhere with Sean where I was not racing to make it to the subway.
“Where are we going?” I asked, looking out the window before I turned to Sean.
“I’m taking you to my favorite steak place,” he said.
I wondered which one it could be.
The past week, he’d taken quite a few business lunches at Peter Luger Steak House, and I found myself a trifle sad that I was getting the same treatment as his business partners.
I squished that feeling down.
To Sean, everything in life was a business deal, including our little sex-only arrangement.
It was what I’d originally wanted, too, so why was I feeling disappointed?
Did I feel anything for him now?
I shouldn’t. I didn’t …
But if I were being truly honest with myself, perhaps I was.
I was starting to care about him.
And maybe, on that day of the fire, I saw a glimmer of hope that this was something beyond casual.
Silly, foolish me.
I couldn’t change Sean.
Great, amazing sex didn’t mean he had feelings for me.
I looked up when I felt his eyes on me, and for a second, I was stumped.
He was giving me a heated but knowing look.
It was a look that showed he understood so much more than he let on.
“Didn’t I tell you that you don’t have to worry when you’re with me?” he asked as the car came to a stop.
I flushed. Thank goodness he can’t read my mind , I thought as he reached for my hand and led me out.
Were we here already?
I looked around in the dark night and realized we were at the tarmac.
My jaw dropped when I realized what we were parked next to.
A sleek, majestic private jet.
“Sean,” I gasped as he gave me a wry smile and stepped back to let me have a better look.
“My favorite steak place happens to be in DC,” he said.
When I reached up to kiss him, he lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist before kissing him.
I was worth more than his business associates after all.
We spent the most of the one-hour flight to DC snuggling together on the couch while midair.
A freaking couch on the plane, complete with blankets and pillows.
Sean pulled me onto his lap, his hand tracing the curve of my ass or palming my breasts the entire time.
We kissed and kissed some more, in between sipping champagne, with a view of the pink-and-orange sky outside the window.
It couldn’t have been more perfect.
Sean’s warm body underneath mine, his voice in my ears, and his kisses on my lips.
We were both breathing fast when the plan began its descent, needing release desperately.
His eyes were heavy-lidded as he fingered my nipples through the soft material of my dress, and I moaned.
“You need to be patient,” he growled in my ear as the plane made its touchdown.
“You need to teach me,” I whispered back, palming his length through his pants.
He’d been hard the entire flight, and I’d partly rejoiced in his misery.
We’re in DC , I reflected as the door to the jet opened.
I stood up reluctantly.
I’d get some alone time with Sean later, but it would be pure torture to wait.
We had a ride waiting for us on the tarmac as we walked down the steps from the jet, Sean taking my hand in his.
I still couldn’t believe we hadn’t had to go through security to board a plane.
I found myself storing away details of the jet to share with Henry later—like the gold-accented faucets in the bathroom or the pretty spare pajamas they’d stashed in the cabinets for clients—before I realized with a pang that I hadn’t been honest with Henry.
He thought I was out with Will, and it was time to come clean with him.
Especially since it looked like Sean wasn’t leaving anytime soon.
We got into the waiting car, and I relaxed.
For a second, I closed my eyes, savoring the smooth, noiseless drive.
And then a thought hit me.
Don’t get used to it .
I opened my eyes to see Sean gazing at me.
“Please tell me you spent the last minute indulging in an erotic fantasy that involved you, me, and at least ten mirrors around us?”
I grinned and sat up.
“Save that thought for later,” I whispered in his ear.
I gestured to the spacious interior of the car.
“I feel so comfortable,” I told him.
“This place has more room than the desk I have at work!”
“Are you taking a dig about your lowly work environment?” he asked, pulling me in closer.
His head bent, and his lips hovered over mine.
My breath hitched just as the car came to a stop, but Sean didn’t care.
His mouth was against mine, the kiss rough, possessive.
His tongue reached between the seam of my lips, like it was claiming its rightful place, while his hands caressed my back.
Before I knew it, Sean leaned over and unbuckled my seat belt, pulling me on top of him.
I was straddling him, legs on either side of his hips, and I saw stars.
My mind spun as I felt Sean’s muscular body harden while I wrapped my arms around his neck.
I heard the front door open, and the driver stepped out.
Sean’s hands went down to cup my ass.
Without warning, he scooted to the edge of the seat and pulled my legs around his waist. I ground over him, and he was positioned so perfectly under me that I felt his hard length throbbing against me.
He was more than perfect, and a breathy moan fell from my lips.
I noticed movement on the sidewalk, and I realized there were two valets outside, next to our driver.
“I think there’s a growing number of people over there, waiting for us to be done,” I said.
“Well, pity for them, I’m not,” Sean growled back.
“I don’t care if the fucking president is outside. I’m taking my time with you.”
I ground down on him again, and a groan ripped from his lips.
“No matter how much of you I get, it’s never enough.”
I wanted to stay here forever, knowing the power I had to make him feel pleasure.
I held on to him.
“You feel so good,” I sighed as his growing erection rubbed my clit just right.
I was just at the edge, and I couldn’t stop.
“The windows are tinted,” he reminded me as he helped me take my pleasure.
He pulled the right sleeve of my dress down, exposing my bra.
He popped my breast out from the bra, sucking my nipple into his mouth as I ground faster.
My breathing turned quick and uneven, and a minute later, I came, calling out Sean’s name plainly for all to hear.
When I floated back down from my orgasm, I gazed at Sean.
He was wearing a proud smile that told me he’d gotten exactly what he wanted.
I fell on him, feeling like my limbs had turned to jelly.
“I can’t walk,” I sighed as he fixed the bra and the sleeve of my dress back in place.
“That was so amazing that I’m pretty sure I can’t walk for a while.”
“Well then, I’ll carry you in,” he said, and that was exactly what he did.
He got out of the car and helped me out, and my world literally turned upside down as he flipped me over onto his shoulder without a warning.
“Sean,” I said, affronted and mortified as I tried to beat at his back with my fists.
I might have swatted at a nonexistent fly for all the difference it made.
The valets on the sidewalk broke into grins while Chris’s face remained expressionless as he shut the door behind us.
Does he disapprove, or is he just used to Sean’s wild behavior?
Unbothered by any of this, Sean walked into the restaurant.
He’s really doing this, isn’t he?
Heads turned as we entered the restaurant, and the distance between us and the doors increased as Sean strode over to the host.
The person was speechless for a second, apparently, because it took them a moment to answer him while I used that time to gaze at Sean’s firm backside.
“I know you said no man could ever look at me twice. I guess you didn’t consider them taking second looks at my ass?”
He surveyed the restaurant.
“No man can look at any part of you,” he said decisively.
I swiveled my head to see who else was enjoying this spectacle of me upside down.
Sure enough, the few people who dared to gaze in our direction quickly turned away when they encountered Sean’s scowl.
I grinned. Being with my grumpy, arrogant boss did have its benefits.
We were led to a secluded spot at the back, and when Sean set me down, I sighed.
“This place is beautiful, Sean,” I said, taking a seat across from him.
I didn’t say what I really wanted to say.
I hated seeing the nice things life could offer.
Because it meant there was so much I was missing out on.
Crumbling sidewalks and broken appliances were all I was familiar with back home.
We ordered drinks—a mint mojito for me and an old-fashioned for Sean—and the waitress left after telling us about the specials, the names of which I couldn’t ever pronounce again.
I was so out of my element here.
“Tell me about Henry,” Sean said, his gaze cool as he looked at me.
For the next ten minutes, we talked over our drinks, and laughter came easily while I described the hilarious tricks that Henry still played on me on cheerier days.
My nerves eased, and I smiled more genuinely when the waitress arrived to take our order.
I didn’t care what I ate, so I just told her to choose her favorite meal for me, and she brightened up at that.
“You’re adventurous,” she said, taking the menu cards back from us.
“Don’t worry; I’ll surprise you,” she told me and left.
I laughed and took another sip of my drink.
It was delicious and refreshing.
“I’ve never been called adventurous before.”
“You canceled an event with Henry to be with me,” Sean said, tracing lines on the back of my hand, running down the length of my arm.
“That says adventurous to me.”
I nodded and gave a tiny shiver.
“That felt … unsettling … but I want to be with you,” I said, looking up and meeting his eyes.
“I’m glad because I definitely wasn’t letting you get away tonight,” he said while I looked pleased.
I took a sip of my drink.
“I think you’re changing me, and I like the new Chloe.”
Sean laughed.
“Just so you know, I liked the old Chloe too. It was the reason I hijacked your date with Will in the first place,” he added while I laughed.
He looked at me like I was the most special thing he’d ever laid eyes on.
The way he hung on to my every word made my heart flutter.
What was this? Even if I wanted to reconsider my stance on relationships, Sean was my boss, and I knew for a fact that he didn’t do relationships.
When our food arrived, we dug in slowly.
“Can you tell me something?” Sean asked, a whiff of his expensive cologne reaching me.
His jaw was tight, and his brown eyes were bright.
“When you spoke with Henry, you said something about heading out on April 18? Because it’s the first warm weekend this month, and I was going to take you sailing with me that weekend.”
I froze.
Sean was making plans for us.
For weeks from now.
This was unexpected.
“I would have loved to, but this is something I can’t reschedule.” I lifted my chin.
“I recently found something out … something about my dad.”
I took another sip of the mojito, the sugar and alcohol making it easier to speak.
“For the past ten years, after Dad left, I thought he’d gone to California, where his parents had a home. Well, I googled his name, like I usually do every year around his birthday, and this time, a new social media account popped up.”
I swallowed and blurted out the words.
“It was on a dating website.”
Sean’s eyes were intense, and my pulse was thundering as I went on.
“Anyway, without speaking with him, I found out Dad lives in New Jersey. New Jersey , Sean. Just an hour’s drive away from us. And he couldn’t find the time to pop over …” I shook my head, dispelling the angry thoughts.
“Anyway, lately, I’ve had this idea. Even though he’s been out here and not attempted to meet us or find out how we are …” I held my breath.
Not even on Christmas or Thanksgiving for the past ten years .
“I was hoping he could get over here to see Henry graduate in four weeks. I’m pretty sure Henry would love that.”
He leaned forward and grabbed hold of my hand, his fingers squeezing mine.
“I think that’s a great idea, Chloe. I didn’t have the experience you did of growing up with a sibling, but …”
He sat back, his eyes focusing on the windows next to us as he drew in a deep breath.
Something deep and dark resurfaced in his mind because, when he turned to me, his eyes were stormy.
“I’m finally getting used to the idea of accepting Erin. For the past few weeks, I’ve heard occasionally from Erin and found it hard to ignore the interest with which she asked questions about New York and the life here. I couldn’t help myself and asked her if she was considering moving here from Miami.”
He reached for his cuff links, fiddling with them before he raised his head and spoke again.
“Erin said she was, having looked at renting a storefront to continue her taxidermy business, but it would be another year or two before she could afford it.” His eyes cut to me.
“It was the first time I had done something genuinely kind, I realized, when I offered to make the down payment for a storefront she liked.”
“Oh, Sean,” I said.
It was a change for him—I could see that.
A wonderful change because if Erin stuck around, it also meant Lucas would have more people to love him.
I ran my hand slowly up and down his arm.
“I think what you did was amazing.”
The corners of his lips moved up in a small smile.
“Erin hasn’t accepted—yet. But I can do better by her. Just like I hope you can reach your dad … and if you need any help, well, I’m here for you. Private investigators included.”
I smiled at that.
I didn’t plan on using a PI—heck, I couldn’t afford any—but I was glad for the opening to talk about something else.
“Tell me about Erin,” I said, reaching for a second bite.
Sean was silent for a while as he moved his steak around on his plate.
“My mom, well, she cheated on my father with another man. When Dad found out, he was devastated. She left us, and I heard later that she had another kid. Erin. Years later, at Dad’s funeral, Erin got in touch with me. I was suspicious of her back then and didn’t really encourage her. But now, my behavior back then seems repugnant. I’m glad she’s giving me another chance.”
“What about your mom?”
“Well, she didn’t marry Erin’s biological father either. She’s alone now, well into her seventies. She’s not someone I talk about much. I haven’t forgiven her for what she did to my father.”
“Cheating on him and leaving you?”
“Yes. Dad visibly struggled at his job because of how much the divorce affected him. He … developed an alcohol problem, which thankfully didn’t get out of hand. He recognized it soon enough when I started to hide the bottles from him, and he promised to do better. But I could see how miserable he was without Mom. In addition, he gave up socializing and lost most of his friends. It was like being pushed into a life of isolation. It was hard for him to start over again, to make brand-new friends. When he died at sixty, he had never regained the happiness he had before she left. It was as though Mom had stolen that from him when she cheated on him.”
I reached for his hand, and my eyes were moist. “I’m sorry, Sean. That must have been hard to witness.”
He nodded.
“You know what hurt the most? How nice Dad was. Before he passed away, he asked if I could find it in me to forgive her. He harbored no anger toward her. He always wanted to help people—including the people who had hurt him. I think I’m mad at my mom for hurting him because I’ve never seen someone so kind …” He paused.
“Until I met you.”
I shook my head, blinking away the sadness.
“Nonsense,” I uttered.
“I’m a horrible person. Just you wait and watch.”
He laughed, but gave me a look that seemed very intimate.
As though he knew me to be better than that.
It made me shiver, these knowing looks, combined with the sparks of attraction between us.
I shouldn’t feel these things if we were strictly sexual.
I couldn’t understand why we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, why I touched him every chance I got.
I linked my fingers with his while we waited for dessert, staring into his eyes as he opened up more about his childhood.
The night was fantastic, and it wasn’t because of the private jet or the luxury restaurant.
It was because of Sean.
After dinner, Sean took me for a walk.
We had a beautiful view of Arlington Memorial Bridge, all lit up at night, with the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument in the distance.
I’d never seen them before, and with Sean, it had happened in a few hours.
It was closer to nine p.m., and the cool breeze gently whipped my hair around as we strolled about like people without a care.
Sean’s hand was in mine, and all was right in the world.
I remembered the last time I’d felt this light and carefree.
It was back in high school, in the days before Henry’s accident.
Before Dad left us. Now, I was twenty-eight, but I felt like I was much older.
I felt like I weighed and considered things more gravely than anyone needed to at twenty-eight.
Who considered tricking their dad into attending his son’s graduation ceremony?
What kind of woman lied to her brother about their dad’s reason for leaving them?
And lied about her dating life?
“What are you thinking about?” Sean asked, lifting a wisp of hair and tucking it behind my ear before he turned me around to face him.
We were leaning against the railing of the view spot, our coats flapping in the breeze, and except for a younger couple, we were alone.
“Is something the matter?” His voice was tender, and the concern in his tone almost did me in.
I blinked rapidly, hoping I wouldn’t start bawling right this minute.
Please, let me save it for when I’m home.
“All evening long, I have been apprehensive. And guilty because I had to turn down Henry’s request. But now, I feel like Cinderella,” I whispered, looking at him.
“Because I’ve enjoyed this one fabulous night, something I never dreamed about.”
He’d shown me a life completely unlike mine, and I was grateful for it.
But I also knew that the metaphorical clock would strike twelve soon.
I couldn’t predict how many dates it would take for Sean to get this fling out of his system, but it didn’t stop me from trying to.
I felt the onset of abandonment like a nervous itch, the longer I spent time with him.
It was hard-wired in me now.
His dark eyes flashed.
“It’s not just one night, Chloe,” he said, running his hand through my hair as he tilted my face up to his.
It wasn’t just one night perhaps, but this would end soon, even though I didn’t want to think of that.
Sean was unpacking my emotions, bit by bit, letting them out of the cage I’d kept them guarded in.
And it wasn’t just him who had to deal with what came out; I did too.
He bent down, his lips brushing against mine.
The strokes were soft, light, teasing.
He took his time, savoring me, sending me reeling with sensations.
When we broke apart, my head was spinning.
His arms circled my waist, and he held me against him as I rested my head on his chest. How could he kiss me like this and still believe this was only physical?
Every time he kissed me, something stirred in my chest. Emotions that I hadn’t expected to feel for him.
Missing him when he was away, longing to see his smile or the glint in his eye when he passed by my work desk.
Anticipation, the buildup, followed by a painfully sweet release, knowing it would be a while before I could be with him again.
I was getting something good in my life, finally, and in my experience, good things never stayed.
If someone good accidentally came my way, they would soon realize how broken I was and leave.
Because good attracted more good, whereas broken people attracted the kind of people who could ruin you for life.
Sometimes, I wished it weren’t me who lived this life.
That I could get to be someone else just for a day.
To live the carefree life of a twenty-eight-year-old without having to worry over a younger sibling.
And then I’d hate myself for thinking those thoughts when, in reality, I should be fiercely proud of Henry.
I’d tell myself not to feel what I was feeling, so often that I’d distance myself from emotions.
I’d found happiness in scheduling, in logistics, and conversations that kept uncomfortable emotions out of the way.
But now, I wanted Sean.
I wanted the little efforts he went through to make me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered.
Not his things. Just his affection and his time.
But from Sean’s own words before, he had very little of both to give.
I faked a laugh, sliding my hands up his shoulders and clasping my fingers behind his neck.
“I’m used to normal things, Sean. I don’t need to feel special.”
His eyes flashed with desire.
Sean wanted me. That was obvious.
I lived for moments like this.
Where I felt like I was the only woman in the world and Sean was completely consumed by his lust for me.
“I disagree,” he said.
“But first, I’ve got something to show you. Come on.”