Chapter 14
Riley
“Whenever I think your incompetence can no longer surprise me, it hits a new high, Ms. Gates. Or is it a new low?” Mr. Rainer stood beside my desk, contempt on his face and in his voice.
I cringed, standing up quickly behind my desk. “What did I do wrong?”
“Even the fact that you have to ask is pathetic,” Mr. Rainer said. “I asked you to reschedule my meeting with Aiden for this afternoon to Monday, yet I see it on my calendar for Tuesday.”
“You asked for Tuesday,” I said. “I remember quite clearly because you already had a meeting on Tuesday, and you asked me to move that one to Wednesday so that -”
“Are you calling me a liar?” Mr. Rainer’s usually pale face was now the colour of his thinning red hair.
“No, sir,” I said. “But if you’ll recall, we talked at length about your Tuesday meeting and whether rescheduling it to Wednesday or Thursday would be better. You said -”
“Enough,” he snapped. “I asked you to switch it to Monday and you failed to do what I asked. I don’t want to hear your lies or excuses.”
“Yes, sir,” I said. “I’ll talk to Farah and ask her to move the meeting to Monday on Aiden’s calendar.”
His nostrils flared. “You’d better hope Aiden is available on Monday.”
His unspoken threat hung between us like a foul smell. Apparently, afraid I was too dumb to understand his meaning, he leaned closer and said, “You are dangerously close to losing your job. Do better, Ms. Gates.”
“Yes, sir,” I whispered, the tears pricking at my eyes and my throat so tight I could barely swallow.
“I’ll be out for lunch and unavailable for calls,” he said before, with another look of disdain, he marched away.
I slumped in my seat, feeling sick to my stomach. I’d forgotten my lunch today, but it didn’t matter. My appetite had fled, and I doubted it would return anytime soon. Yesterday and today had been a constant barrage of complaints and snide remarks from Mr. Rainer about my skills. I could pretend it was fine, but the truth was my new boss hated me and was determined to get me fired.
I knew without a doubt that he’d originally asked for the meeting to be moved to Tuesday. His only reason for lying was to have another excuse to fire me. Ella had suggested I speak with Aiden, but I knew it wouldn’t help. It was my word against Mr. Rainer’s, and what chance did I have at keeping my job if my boss would resort to straight-up lying about me? Mr. Rainer was a highly sought-after employee, and I was a nobody. Secretaries were a dime a dozen, and they’d have a replacement in my chair before I even drove Marvin out of the parking garage.
If you lose this job, your mother won’t get her chemo treatments.
I cringed, and the heavy guilt only increased when my phone rang. I fumbled it out of my purse to see my mother’s number on the screen. I thought briefly of not answering it before dismissing the idea. One, she knew I was on my lunch, and two, what if she’d taken a turn for the worse?
I hit the answer button. “Hi, Mom. Everything okay?”
“Hi, Riley. It’s okay. I’m still exhausted from the chemo last week. I haven’t gotten out of bed all day.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s been a very difficult past few days,” she said.
“Is that why you didn’t answer my video call on Monday or Wednesday?” I asked.
I could hear the defensiveness in her tone. “I was sleeping, Riley. I’m sorry I can’t say how high the minute you say jump, but I’m having poison pumped into my body every few weeks, and that takes a toll on a person.”
“I know,” I said quickly. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty.”
“Aren’t you?” she asked.
“I’m not,” I said. “I’ve just had a bit of a bad week myself because I have a new boss who doesn’t like me, and I’m lonely with Ella living in Australia now. I thought seeing your gorgeous face might cheer me up.”
She sighed. “Riley, how many times do I have to tell you that you can’t look to other people for your happiness? You have to create your happiness. Besides, you’d have more friends than just Ella if you weren’t so needy. This constant desire to be liked by others, to have their approval, is the very thing that drives people away from you. It’s a very unattractive quality, sweetie, and I’d hoped you would have outgrown it by now.”
“I’m working on it,” I said as more tears stung the back of my eyes.
“Are you? Because you’re complaining that I’m not supporting you when I’m going through a very trying time. I have cancer, Riley. My own body is trying to kill me, and yet you expect me to hold your hand because you made a bad impression on your boss by being so blatantly needy.”
“I’m not looking for your support,” I said quickly. “I know how hard it is for you right now, and I don’t mean to upset you.”
She sighed. “I’m sure you don’t, but sometimes I wonder how I raised such a thoughtless child.”
Her disapproval ate at my soul, and I choked back a sob as she said, “How is your second job going?”
“Oh good,” I said.
“Getting lots of shifts?”
“Um, a few. Why?”
“Well, I thought maybe you’d send me more money over the weekend, but you didn’t.”
“Oh, my car broke down, so I had to use the money from my second job to fix it,” I said. “But I have, uh, a shift tonight, so I’ll send you some money tomorrow.”
“That’s the second time your car has broken down in six months,” my mother said.
“Well, it’s on the older side, so it -”
“And that’s my fault?” my mother said sharply. “I didn’t ask you to sell your other car and buy a crap one, Riley.”
“I know,” I said. “I sold my other car to help you and Dad.”
She made an annoyed sound, and I said, “I was happy to do it, Mom.”
“Maybe you should look at getting a bus pass,” my mother said. That car of yours is costing more than it’s worth in repairs. If you got rid of it and took the bus, you’d be saving money not just on repairs but also on gas and car insurance. The money you could give us by not having to pay for gas and insurance would help us out, Riley. Our medical bills just keep getting higher.”
“My second job isn’t easy to get to,” I said. There aren’t many bus stops in the area, and I’d have to walk at least an hour before and after my shift in the dark. And we’re in the middle of a severe cold snap.”
“I’m sure it isn’t that cold,” my mother said. “Besides, the fresh air and the exercise would be good for you. You know you’ve been wanting to lose a few pounds.”
“I’ll think about it,” I said.
I heard the muffled sound of my father speaking, and my mother said, “I have to run, sweetie. Text me tomorrow when you’ve sent the money, all right?”
“I will,” I said. “I love you, Mom.”
She’d already ended the call, and I stared at my phone screen for a few minutes before shoving it back into my purse. Only a few more hours and I would be at Mr. Steele’s house. I could do this.
* * *
I parkedin Mr. Steele’s driveway. I was earlier than normal, and I was grateful for that. I needed time to stop shaking, to forget the sound of Mr. Rainer’s shouts and how I’d cried in front of him, and the shame of having Farah witness it all.
As if my thoughts had summoned her, my cell rang, and Farah’s number appeared on the screen. She’d texted me twelve times since I’d left the office, and I knew I couldn’t ignore her forever.
I hit the answer button. “Hi, Farah.”
“Riley, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said.
“You most certainly are not fine,” she said. “You were crying when you left.”
“Just a bad day,” I said.
“A bad day? Mr. Rainer was screaming at you,” she said. “The entire office heard it. Mr. Rainer’s damn lucky Aiden wasn’t in the office when he started screaming at you.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “I was tired and a little distracted by having to stay late. I screwed up the document he asked me to email, and Mr. Rainer was upset by it. I don’t blame him.”
“Are you freaking kidding me?” Farah said. “Riley, his reaction was over the top. It was an internal email going to Richard and the rest of the finance department.”
“Sure, but it’s my job to do it correctly, and I didn’t.” My eyes watered, and I blinked viciously to stop from crying. I would be damned if I showed up in Mr. Steele’s office with swollen eyelids and a blotchy face.
“Honey, he was, like, borderline abusive,” Farah said. “Scratch that - he was abusive. You need to speak with Aiden about it.”
“It wouldn’t do any good. We all know that Aiden is thrilled Mr. Rainer is working for him. He’s not going to say anything about how Mr. Rainer treats me. Why would he?”
“Because no one should put up with that kind of treatment, and if you left, the entire finance department would fall apart without you,” Farah said.
I made myself laugh, a dusty croaking that sounded nothing like my usual one. “That’s sweet but completely untrue.”
“No, it isn’t. Richard always talks about how you do so much for the entire team, not just Mr. Rainer. You’re not even their assistants, and you still do lots for them.”
I blew my breath out. “It was just a bad day, Farah. Mr. Rainer is a completely different type of boss from Jamie, and I’m still adjusting. Mr. Rainer isn’t as kind as Jamie, but we don’t go to work for hugs and kisses, right?”
“Honey, if you’re nervous about talking to Aiden, I can talk to him for you,” Farah said.
“No,” I said quickly. “I don’t want you to speak to Aiden about this.”
“Why not?” she asked.
Her question was said gently enough, but I still snapped at her. “Because I don’t want to lose my damn job, Farah! I need this job, okay? And if you think Aiden is going to give a shit about me over Mr. Rainer, you’re being incredibly naive. The only thing that will happen if I go to Aiden about Mr. Rainer is me losing my job, and if that happens, I’m fucked.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
I sighed. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap or use bad language. I’m frustrated by my inability to show Mr. Rainer I’m not terribly incompetent, and I miss Jamie a lot. But today was just a bad day, and tomorrow will be better. I have to go, okay? Thank you for checking on me. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
I ended the call and turned my phone to silent. I was shaking again, and I hated how much Mr. Rainer’s rage had affected me. I checked my reflection in the rearview mirror. My face was pale, but you couldn’t tell I’d been crying. If Mr. Steele noticed my shaking, I would tell him I was cold. It wasn’t a complete lie. Marvin’s heater was on high, but it was still no match for the cold snap.
I grabbed my purse and climbed out of the car, hurrying to the front door and into the warmth of the house. I went upstairs and into the bathroom. I wore dress pants today, and I quickly peeled them off so I could take off my panties. I pulled them back on and removed my bra before smoothing my hair and smiling at myself.
“You’re good, Riley. You’re safe, and you’ll do a perfect job tonight, and Mr. Steele will be proud of you. You’re his good girl.”