Chapter 2 #3
The longer I looked, the harder my chest cramped.
It was a bad night for self-control. I could feel her through the bond.
Not like an intrusive thought, but a pressure or a phantom pulse.
She was awake, I could sense that much, and she was happy, which was a damn relief.
Her happiness was all a prick like me could ask for these days.
Fuck, I missed her.
I swiped back to the photo.
She looked right at me, even though it was just an image on glass. Unimpressed. Unbothered. A little dare in the lift of her brow.
You want it? Come get it, she seemed to say through the screen.
I set the phone down on my chest and lay back, staring through the cracks in the ceiling. I touched myself absently at first, hand sliding down the front of my sweats, palm rough against already half-hard skin. The relief was instant.
Lifting my phone again, I kept my eyes on her face.
No sense pretending it wasn’t her that haunted my every waking moment.
Memories hit me hard and fast, enough to knock the breath out of me.
The way she’d straddled my lap that night in the living room, the heat of her bare thighs, that little intake of breath when I grabbed her hips and pulled her flush, cock already fat and straining to be inside of her.
Her hands were in my hair, nails scraping my scalp.
The way she arched back, riding me, swearing whenever I drove into her deep enough to make her entire body shudder.
I remembered the snap of her hips, the way she braced herself with one hand on my chest and the other curled around the base of my neck, dragging me up for a kiss.
I remembered how she sounded when she was about to come. Not just the breathy gasps, but the groans, the way she’d glare at me through her lashes like she was actively fighting her own pleasure, wanting to draw it out for as long as possible.
My palm went slick with sweat, movements turning urgent. I closed my eyes and let my head tip back, the phone screen burning into the darkness.
Saw her there. Heard her whispering my name, every syllable threaded with need. The little choked noises she made, the gasp when I cupped her ass and pinned her harder, the liquid roll of her delicious hips. If I let myself, I could almost smell her. Like honey and sweet pears.
Fuuuuck.
I could picture it perfectly, as if she were here with me in this room, in the dark, her bare legs wrapped around my waist, cunt gripping my cock so tight it was a miracle I hadn’t blacked out.
Her teeth in my shoulder, biting down, marking me.
I lived for that mark. I wore it for days, hidden under my collar.
She’d moved over me like she owned me. That was the truth of it. She’d taken everything I had and still asked for more, without apology. I ached for it now. For her. For the memory of being wanted by only her.
My hand tightened on my shaft, rhythm rough now and desperate.
If she was here, I’d have bent her over the fucking desk, fucked her until her knees buckled, left her so full of me it would take hours for her to walk straight.
I’d have made her say my name again, made her come for me, just me, not those pricks at Imperium.
God, I wanted her. I wanted her so bad I hated myself for it.
I didn’t stop. Didn’t let up, just chased my release, harder and faster every second, thinking of her pretty mouth.
The way she’d stare down at me, lips parted, that smug look like she knew exactly what she was doing to me.
Her hands splayed on my chest, her tits bouncing every time I thrust up.
Her cunt squeezing me, dripping all over my cock, soaking us both.
I thought about her face when she came for me, the way her eyes would lose focus, the little tremor in her chin and the way her thighs shook with the force of her pleasure.
In my soul I knew I’d never feel her again.
Not like that. I didn’t deserve it. I was given one chance at an axis bond, and the first thing I did was call her a liar and turn her away, exposing her to humiliation and shame.
No. The only way Jupiter would ever be mine again was in my dreams and imagination.
She was safe there. Safe where I could never hurt her.
Sweat slicked my back and I gritted my teeth, jaw locked as I came hard, so hard I saw stars for a second, hips jutting up off the bed with a curse. All I could see were her silver eyes. Those fucking eyes that haunted me.
It was pathetic. Fucking tragic, really. She was a thousand miles away, and I was reduced to jacking off to her selfie like a sixteen-year-old loser.
When my heart started to slow down, I wiped my hand on my shower towel from this morning before falling back onto the pillow, my breaths coming out heavily. My eyes stung with suppressed tears that I wasn’t too proud to let fall anymore.
I missed her. I missed what we could have been.
The potential I felt in every fiber of my being.
Sure, I might not have chosen to bond with Jupiter, but it didn’t change how I felt.
It didn’t remove the essence of her soul from my own that was tied together for life.
It didn’t change the fact that even if I could go back in time, I would make the same decision to bond with her all over again every single time.