21. Grady
CHAPTER 21
GRADY
The smell hits me the moment I walk through the door. Everyone knows the smell of a high school gymnasium. The smell of rubber and teenage hormones sent me right back to my own high school years. This was the place where I walked across the small stage when I graduated, and watched Hudson and Jett walk across the stage after me. It’s where I shared my first dance with a girl. It was our prom night. We went outside as the dance was winding down and sat on the bench around the side of the school. I was going to kiss her. I was so close to getting my first real kiss when my phone rang. Dad had gotten a call from the police department saying Jett had been out at a party in the woods and got caught drinking underage and doing God knows what else.He was too busy at the clinic to go and pick Jett up, and no one else was available but me.
I thought I had won the lottery that night. I thought I had won the lottery, and it was ripped out of my hands. I spent weeks ignoring Jett. It was the first and only time I was angry enough to let him know it. He had stolen an opportunity from me that I could never get back. Now I’m back at Heartwood High, in the same spot with Spencer, and I realize that I had no idea back then how good life could get.
The gym looks very different now; they’ve painted a new mural on one side, the image depicting a very predatory-looking bird for the Heartwood Hawks. Although I’m fairly certain whoever did it painted a falcon and not a hawk but that’s what you get in a small town on a budget. The rest of the gym is filled with tables and booths from all the businesses in Heartwood with job openings for new graduates. Some colleges from neighbouring towns are here also, along with a couple of big universities in Calgary. Those booths are popular, judging by the size of the crowd gathering around them. I guess most students recognize that a post-secondary degree is their best ticket out of Heartwood.
There’s a small crowd forming around my booth, too. Though they’re not at all interested in working at Jack’s. They’re more interested in Spencer Sinclair, travel influencer and social media personality. Spencer is chatting with them as if she’s known the group of girls gathered around her for years. There’s something so easy and natural about the way that she talks to her fans. I hear her compliment one of them and the girl blushes, like she just received a compliment from a celebrity. Spencer is a celebrity in a way. With her social media following, most people who use the app either already follow her or they know of her.
Though, the way Spencer carries herself is not what I would expect of someone who has so many people always fawning over her. I spent enough time poring over her social media page last year to know that she doesn’t subscribe to the usual influencer trends, doesn’t take brand deals she doesn’t like, doesn’t post photos for clout. Most of the photos she’s posted are of the places she’s visited, and if she’s in them at all, her back is turned to the camera. Like she would rather hide her face.
“What is your all-time favourite place you’ve ever been?” One of the girls asks her, her expression open and expectant. The others are hanging on every word that Spencer has said. I do that, too.
I drop my eyes down to my lap so it doesn’t seem like I’m eavesdropping on their conversation, but I just can’t help it. I want to hear every syllable that comes out of Spencer’s mouth.
“Hmm. That’s a tough question. I think I’d have to say Cappadocia.”
“Cappa-what-ia?” a brace-faced girl asks, and I stifle a laugh because, same.
“ It’s in Turkey,” Spencer explains. “They fly hot air balloons there, and I just loved waking up every morning and sitting on my balcony watching them. They dot the sky like stars. Especially when they’re all lit up at night.” At that moment, my stomach drops. It plummets through the floor. Hearing Spencer talk about all the amazing places she’s been and things she’s seen, she’s in a league of her own. And way out of mine. I can’t offer her a wild and adventurous life in Heartwood. I’ve barely done any travelling myself. What could I give her here that could ever compare?
In my peripheral vision, one of the girls takes out her phone and starts typing, as if she’s already planning her own trip there.
“The travel is great, it’s the best part of my job. If you decide that you want to do what I do one day, just don’t forget that what you have here in Heartwood is beautiful, too. Don’t forget where you come from. It’s important to have a connection to your roots. You might not see it now, but it is.”
I can’t help the smile that creeps across my face at this. She sounds as if she longs to have a place like Heartwood to call home. Hope blooms in my chest that maybe she’s open to staying. Maybe I can show her that she can have this, too, if she allows it. If she accepts it.
The girls wander off, giddy and shrieking that they just met Spencer Sinclair.
“Come on.” I get up and place a hand on Spencer’s arm. “Let’s wander around. I’m tired of sitting here.”
“Someone needs to man the booth.” She points toward my pathetic-looking booth. The table is bare, no cool freebies or swag to attract the teens. Now that the girls have left, there’s no one interested in our booth at all.
“Ah, kids don’t care about working at the bar. I’m here for the scholarship presentation and that’s about it,” I say. “Which, by the way, I’m shitting my pants about, so thank you so much for signing me up for this.”
“You’ll do great. You killed it at the party the other night, and now you’ll have even more practice for the council meeting.” Right. The council meeting, and the speech that I absolutely cannot fuck up. Spencer gives me a reassuring pat on my shoulder and her touch sends a zing of electricity down my spine.
“Are there any surprises in this one that I should be aware of?”
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, would it?” She winks at me, and I roll my eyes back at her.
Spencer follows me to take a lap around the gym, saying hello to everyone who came out today. I want to show her what the community of Heartwood is like: friendly, welcoming. Although I think she already knows. A few people wave from their booths as we walk past. Spencer is close beside me. Close enough that I could reach down and grab her hand, but I don’t. The comfort of her arm brushing against mine as we walk is enough right now.
Eleanor waves us over to the Town of Heartwood booth and greets me with a warm smile before pulling Spencer into a hug.
“I didn’t know the town was hiring,” I say, noting the stack of application forms on the table in front of her.
“We weren’t. But after Spencer’s presentation the other night, I figured we could use some young blood at the tourism board. Fresh eyes.”
“There was a group of girls over there that might be interested. They wanted to know all about what I do,” Spencer offers.
“Oh, honey, I think they were just interested in you,” Eleanor says, pointing out the obvious.
“I’m really not that interesting.”
“I think they would beg to differ.” Eleanor cocks her head to the side. Her expression changes when she sees someone approaching us from behind. “I think he would also disagree.”
I don’t even have to look to know who is walking up from behind us. His cologne gives him away from a mile off.
“Nobody at your booth, I see.” Carter sneers. “I guess they like the idea of working somewhere a little more upscale.” He gestures towards the table he’s set up a few down from Eleanor’s. There are a handful of teens surrounding it, and I wonder if he’s slipped them some money just to stand there looking interested.
“It’s not exactly fair to offer jobs that don’t exist yet,” I retort. “If they ever do.”
“My chances are better than they were a few weeks ago. Better read over that law again if you want to be up to speed at the council meeting. All it says is that the business owner needs to be local to Heartwood.”
“It also says it can’t be part of a chain. Besides, you haven’t lived here in years.”
“I grew up here. I have a permanent address here. Gotta go after what you want, right?” He makes a point of glancing at Spencer. “Any more thoughts on when we can schedule that date you promised me?”
“I never promised anything.” Her tone is flat but not assertive. Not enough to close that door and lock it, throw away the key. It makes my vision blur with rage. She still hasn’t agreed to an official date with him, but all I want is for her to shut him down in a monumental display. A very public one. I want him to walk away with his tail between his legs. Actually, doing it in Heartwood High, the place where Carter reigned as King Asshole for so long, would be kind of poetic.
“A rain check is as good as a promise, Red.”
“A rain check is a rain check,” Spencer answers. Carter inches closer to her, and I can’t fucking stand here any longer and watch this. I just want to get Spencer far away from him. Maybe I didn’t have any right to be jealous about Carter asking Spencer out the first time, but I sure as hell have a right to be pissed now. There’s only one thing I know for certain now: Spencer is mine. She’s been mine since she set foot in this town a year and a half ago. She might not realize it yet, but she and I are only a matter of time.
I grab Spencer’s hand and turn on my heel, dragging her away from Carter, away from the career fair. I don’t know where I’m going but it doesn’t matter. I just need her all to myself.
The noise spilling out of the gymnasium becomes fuzzy and distant as the doors close behind us. The lobby is empty save for a couple of kids making out against some lockers down the adjacent hall. They scurry away when we burst through the doors.
Spencer yanks her hand out of mine the moment we’re alone. I suddenly don’t know what to do with my hands anymore. They had just found their one purpose in life, holding Spencer’s. So, I shove them in my pockets to keep myself from reaching for her.
“What was that?” Spencer almost shouts, shocked. Her arms cross over her chest as she waits for my reply. I reach a hand up to rub the back of my neck, trying to formulate an answer that doesn’t come across as possessive.
“I don’t know, Spencer,” I say, my chest heaving. “I had to get out of there.” Spencer’s shoulders loosen, accepting my answer, and she wanders over to the display case against the wall, perusing the photos and trophies inside. My breathing is still ragged, my anger reducing to a low simmer.
“Is this you?” she asks, pointing at the team photo from my championship year. She’s trying to change the subject, to distract me, to settle my lingering rage, and it’s working.
“Yes.”
“And this is Carter?” Well, it was working.
“Yes.” One-word answers are all I can manage right now. I’m out of breath. I feel like I ran a marathon in the fifty steps it took to get out here.
“I didn’t know you actually played baseball. Though I did wonder why you seemed so natural coaching.” Spencer runs her finger over the glass of the display case, leaving a little smudge.
“Yup. All through high school,”I grit out.
“Were you any good?”Her eyes stay fixed on the photo of me holding the trophy that now sits beside the framed picture.
“I guess. We won the championship because of my hit. A homer. I got offered a scholarship. A few of us did. I didn’t take it,” I answer in short, clipped sentences.
“Why not?”Now her eyes flick to me, fire behind her green irises, making them glow.
“Jett was really starting to get into skiing. He was good. Like, really good. Everyone knew that Jett was going to be amazing right from day one. But I was the only one who could get him to the mountain.”
“You gave up on your dream so Jett could have his?”
I pause when she asks me this question and ponder what she’s perceiving in me. Spencer has this way of seeing right through me, through my light-hearted facade, and right to the version of me who grew up watching everyone around him struggle. She sees me for who I am, the little boy who lost his mom and just desperately wanted everything to be okay again. I did it through jokes, and lifting people up, making them laugh, but I also did it through sacrifice.
“I didn’t really think about it like that. But yeah, I guess. Taking the scholarship would have meant being away from my family, not being there for my brothers. So, I turned it down.”
“Did Carter take it?”
“Yeah. He sure did. He ran the bases off my hit and got to take credit for something I did.” Her mouth opens to form a silent ah as if she’s realizing that my grudge against Carter doesn’t just stem from this squabble over the Parks’ restaurant, or her. It’s over a decade old. “Why are we still talking about Carter?”
“You’re cute when you’re jealous, by the way,” Spencer says as a way of answering me. “You don’t need to be jealous of Carter. He may have the life you envisioned on the surface, but he’s a dirtbag. You, Grady, are not a dirtbag.”
“No,” I agree.
She’s right, but it doesn’t staunch the sticky, murky feeling in my gut. The fact that he had the balls to hit on Spencer in my bar was just the tip of the iceberg. He’s gotten to live the life I wanted, off my back and at my expense. He took the scholarship, got his business degree, opened a successful restaurant, and now he has his sights set on Spencer. The most frustrating part of all of it is that it’s not his fault. Carter is a dick, but the only person I can be angry with is myself for not fighting back.
“That’s why we came out here, isn’t it?” Spencer asks, inching closer. “Because you were jealous.” She’s close enough now that her sweet floral scent is awakening something carnal within me.
I regard her, cupping her cheek in my hand, and her breath hitches under the firmness of it.
“I just couldn’t bear one more second of you sharing the same space as Carter.” I slide my hand around to the nape of her neck, and twine my fingers in her hair, gripping it in a fistful so I can tilt her head back to look at me. “So yes, Spencer. I am fucking jealous. I hate it when he even so much as looks in your direction. Fuck Carter Bouchard and fuck not getting what I want.”
I bring my lips to hers and kiss her firmly. Without hesitation. Confident. Certain. This is what I want. She is what I want. Everything she touches becomes better just for being in her presence. Including me.
Her lips return my fervour, and she inhales deeply through her nose, as if she’s taking in every aspect of me as she parts my lips with her tongue.
I’m suddenly aware that this is what redemption feels like. I’m finally taking back the kiss that I sacrificed after my prom because I was so used to sacrificing myself for others. Now, I’m getting what I want.
The screech of a microphone interrupts us, causing us to pull our mouths apart, but I don’t take my eyes off Spencer, and she doesn’t take her gorgeous emerald eyes off of me. We stay in this moment as long as possible before we hear Heartwood High’s principal introduce himself, and then start his announcement about the scholarship.
“I think you’re up,” Spencer whispers between us. I don’t want to pull myself away, but the testosterone coursing through my veins makes me more motivated than ever. So, I plant a quick kiss on Spencer’s forehead, and she follows me back to the door of the gymnasium, watching me stride up the steps to the makeshift stage with more confidence than I’ve had in decades.