Chapter One
Felix
Icould pinpoint the exact day I realized I didn’t love the woman I was intended to marry.
Josette Fogal was objectively one of the most beautiful women I’d ever met. Long blonde hair, sky-blue eyes, willowy figure, and a broad, serene smile.
From our early childhood, strangers remarked on how beautiful she was.
At age four, a scouting agent spotted her on a trip to Vancouver, and soon she was modelling and acting.
She hated all of it.
But I was the only one she told—and she swore me to secrecy.
I kept that promise until the day she turned sixteen. She was up for a major role on a new television series, and she was so afraid she’d get it that she’d made herself ill.
I gathered our mothers and told them.
See, our mothers were best friends. And they’d married best friends. Then my older brother Wally and Josette’s older brother Jacob were born within days of each other. To finish off the fairytale, Josie was born three weeks after me.
At our joint christening, our mothers set a pledge that we’d marry.
A marriage pact, of sorts.
Made before we’d been a month old.
Something our mothers clung to.
Anyway, I told them Josette didn’t want to act or model.
When confronted, she finally admitted the truth.
From that day on, our mothers started planning our wedding.
And for nine years, I’d managed to hold them at bay.
I eyed the derelict cabin in the woods as Josette stood next to me.
Well, a big cabin with three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a massive great room. Just…it’d fallen into disrepair over the past five years since its owner died and the family fought over the property in court. So I’d been able to snap it up for a steal.
Naturally, it helped that I got control of my inheritance a week ago. Sucked that my dad died when I was fifteen, but my older brother Wally got his money when he turned twenty-five, and I got mine on that birthday as well.
Josette held out her hands as if framing a photograph. “It’s charming.”
I snickered. Of the two of us, she was always the optimist. “I could’ve tried for something in better shape, but the cost would’ve been much higher.” I toed the gravel. “Jacob said he’d do the renovations for me. At cost.”
Josette’s gaze flew to mine. “My brother?” She sputtered. “Really?”
“Family and friend discount.”
Her eyes narrowed.
I tried to keep from blushing, but the heat crept into my cheeks.
She laughed. “Oh, well, isn’t this interesting? Cousin Bradford needed a bathroom renovation, and I think my darling brother charged a premium.”
Despite myself, I joined her in laughter. “Your cousin Bradford is a stuck-up, good-for-nothing asshole. He was lucky your brother agreed to do the work at all.”
She tapped her index finger to her lips. “True. I think Jacob was his third contractor.”
“See? Jacob’s a good guy.”
I was forever defending him to Josette, who only saw an oafish, overly protective older brother who was forever meddling. I saw love.
She felt he was overbearing.
I wished someone would look out for me the way he did for her.
Oh, I loved my brother, Wally. But…he didn’t notice me most of the time. He was a guy’s guy. Stereotypical Canadian man—hockey-playing, beer-drinking, dart-throwing dude who enjoyed watching a game on television.
I said stereotypical because I knew just as many women like that. As well as many, many, many men who weren’t like that. But when outsiders pictured Canadians, they thought of guys like my brother.
Guys like Josette’s brother, Jacob.
As I looked at Josette, a profound realization struck.
I’m not in love with you.
Not the way a husband should love a wife.
This probably should’ve occurred to me before my twenty-fifth birthday, but I’d been sliding through life waiting for my inheritance. I’d graduated from university with a teaching degree, and taught French Immersion at Cedar Street Elementary in Mission City, British Columbia. I’d lived at home while building a little nest egg to pay for renovations and decorations of the house I’d acquire when I turned twenty-five.
I hadn’t known it’d be this house, but I’d kept my eye on listings for years, so I had some idea. Josette and I had discussed this day hundreds of times.
Given our mothers had grown up in abject poverty, having secure futures for their children was critical. Josette and Jacob’s parents helped them save money, but Wally and I were taken care of by my father’s life insurance policy that provided an annuity for our mother and a lump-sum payment for both Wally and me.
Wally had taken his money and bought landscaping equipment. He’d started his own business three years ago, and now the company was a growing concern. In turn, he’d partnered with an arborist, and the two often bid for larger projects.
I liked August the arborist. Oh, and his employee, Julian. Two yummy men. Who’d recently hooked up and were now engaged.
A lot of the guys I knew were doing that. Or it felt like they were.
Which made me kind of envious, even though I didn’t have anything to be jealous of. I had Josette. Now we had a house.
Everything was perfect.
Except it wasn’t.
Still, we headed up the gravel driveway to the wood A-frame cabin in the woods. Well, ten acres of mostly woodland with a creek running through the back of the property. Far more rural than the identical houses we’d grown up in near the center of town.
The sturdy porch wrapped around the front of the house, and I could envision sitting on a rocker and waiting for guests to arrive.
Well, Josette’s guests.
I wasn’t really enamored of people.
An introvert, my mother had explained.
As she had explained that Josette, Jacob, and Wally were all extroverts—they loved being around people. Derived their energy from those interactions.
On the other hand, I’d tolerate people long enough to do whatever social obligation was required, then I’d squirrel myself away for as long as I could.
Kids were the exception to that rule. I could spend an entire day in the classroom and feel energized and contented.
Okay, but then I’d come home and crash.
I jiggled the key in the lock until the door gave way.
We’d been in here precisely once. Which meant, theoretically, we knew how bad it was.
Except we hadn’t. The previous owner had been a geriatric hoarder with about sixty years' worth of…junk. I’d tried to look for antiques, but hadn’t found anything. When the woman’s family agreed to empty the place out, we took them up on that offer.
Now, as I looked around the cavernous space, I winced. “It almost looked better with all the…stuff.”
“Nonsense.” Josette stepped into the great room and executed a pirouette. “Oh, Felix, all this space. A clean slate. Think of all the things we can do.”
“Well, you’re the one with a design background.” I eyed the thick layer of dust on the window. “You know you’re free to do whatever you want. Within reason,” I added quickly. We’d discussed a budget, but I’d paid attention while we watched all those renovation shows. I knew how often things ran over.
She swore they did that for dramatic effect.
I wasn’t convinced.
“Okay, we’re having a party on Saturday.”
“What?” I couldn’t possibly have heard her correctly. Today was Monday. She thought we’d have everything ready to entertain in five days? Generally, she was an optimistic soul. I hadn’t thought her delusional.
“Wrecking party.” Her blue eyes glinted with amusement. “We’ll get Jacob to organize what needs to be done, and then we’re inviting all our friends. We demo the inside and then have a barbecue and beer party.” She eyed me. “Okay, light on the booze. But maybe a bonfire?”
“There are bears in these woods.”
She scowled. “I know that. They’re not going to come join the party, Felix. We just have to make certain we clean up afterward. Oh, and we need to get that industrial bear-proof compost thing. Wally wants us to have plenty of compost he can use when he does the landscaping.”
“Uh…” I scratched my head. “My brother’s doing the landscaping?”
“Of course.”
“I thought we were going for the natural look.”
She arched an eyebrow and sighed. “You still have to have a front lawn. And August is coming by to do an assessment of all the trees on the property. Wouldn’t do to have one fall over during a storm and hit the house.”
Given the house had been standing for more than seventy years, I had doubts about that happening. That being said, I’d hate for a tree to take out my investment. My forever home. “Right. When’s he coming by?”
“Friday. You’re going to invite him to the party.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh, I am, am I? What makes you think he’ll want to come?”
“Because you’re going to bat your eyelashes, promise a good time, and he’ll feel compelled.”
“Are you suggesting I offer him…” I flushed. “Because, Josette—”
“God no.” She laughed. “Invite Julian as well. Tell them it’s a family thing.”
“Uh… Again, work with me here…they aren’t family.”
“No, but Julian comes from a big one, and he’ll get it. I think we went to school with one of his cousins. Oh, I should invite her as well.” Even as she said the words, she pulled out her cell phone and started doing something. She was always doing something with her phone.
I often forgot mine at home.
After looking around longingly, I moved into the kitchen and pulled the paperwork out of my messenger bag.
This place was all mine.
And when Josette and I married, it’d become hers as well.
I should buy a ring or something.
Because that’s what good fiancés did, right?
Except we’d never gone on a date. Never kissed. Never made out. Never had sex. And I told myself we hadn’t done those things because we were saving ourselves for marriage.
Yeah, right, keep telling yourself that.
Okay, I could admit I didn’t feel an attraction to the woman I considered my best friend. But did that matter? We’d build a life based on mutual affection and matching goals in life.
I wanted to be a teacher and a father.
She wanted to be an interior designer and a mother.
Those were compatible dreams.
Yet just the idea of going to bed with her left me cold.
Get over yourself. It’ll be fine.
But didn’t she deserve more? Didn’t she deserve passion? A great love affair?
More than just a small-town teacher who volunteered at the local animal shelter on weekends.
Mission City was a stone’s throw from Vancouver. She should be living in the metropolitan city with bigwig clients and grand projects. Not piddling around this mid-century cabin that was in desperate need of help.
She’s a grown woman. She can make her own decisions.
Except…shouldn’t I talk to her about it? Before I propose?
I didn’t have an appropriate answer for that.
Josette grabbed my hands. “Oh, Felix, this is going to be stunning.”
As much as I wanted to believe her, I couldn’t replicate her enthusiasm. Oh well, perhaps I’d get in the spirit during the party.