Chapter Eleven
Felix
My first thought was to worry about Jacob’s knees against the hard laminate floor.
My second thought was that I’d never done this before.
My third thought was worrying about reciprocating and whether I’d be able to manage.
My final thought, as he took me into his mouth, was that thinking was highly overrated.
The warmth and wetness of his mouth against my cock sent shivers up and down my spine. The suction he created when he hollowed his cheeks stimulated my senses. I swayed a little, placing my hand on his head for balance. I caressed his soft long hair with shaky fingers. In my mind, I’d idly wondered over the years about blow jobs. And could never envision Josette giving me one. Maybe that should’ve been my first clue.
Except I hadn’t envisioned Jacob giving me one either.
Now, though, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Not what had passed, but what was to come. With a certainty I felt to the marrow of my bones, I knew we’d make this work.
And not just because he gave amazing head.
My balls drew up in a manner I recognized. “I’m coming.”
Barely a croak, but as he doubled down and sucked harder, I interpreted that as permission to come. And I did. Spectacularly. Hard. With tingles racing through my body.
Eventually, when I truly had nothing left to give, he pulled off me. My limp dick didn’t like the chilled air hitting it, but that thought was lost when he rose, snagged the back of my neck, and drew me in for a soul-searing, teeth-clashing, tongues-duelling kiss.
I tasted something odd. Oh, right, my cum. Something I’d never tasted before. I’d been idly curious, but was now glad I’d waited. Another first I could share with him.
Boldly, as the kiss lingered, I drew my hand down his chest. When I got to the button on his jeans, I undid it.
He pressed his hand to mine. He pulled back and met my gaze. “You don’t have to do anything.”
I pretended to pout. “So you get all the fun?”
“Uh, well I guess that’s one way to look at it.”
He guided my hand, so I tugged down his zipper.
Then he coaxed my hand under the fabric of his boxer briefs.
I’d held a cock before—my own—but I’d never caressed another man’s. I marvelled at the drop of precum. Fisted his dick in my hand and gently squeezed.
Breath hissed from his lungs. “Yeah, that.”
“May I…” I meant to ask about reciprocating with a blow job, but he snagged my hand and guided me to jerk him off. In the back of my mind, I worried about friction burn, but his movement suggested he was far beyond caring.
A few tugs later, he spurted over my hand and roared a release.
My cock stirred. I did that. To him. And something told me this was just the beginning. Thinking of all the things he could do to me, and all the things I could do to him, brought tears to my eyes.
I was twenty-five and had missed all of this.
Except sharing it with someone I wasn’t in love with would’ve been wrong. Obviously, I needed a connection. I needed someone I truly loved.
Huh.
Okay.
Yeah.
I loved Jacob Fogal. And somehow I needed to tell him before—
His phone rang. He met my gaze. “They can wait.”
“It might be important. After all, my engagement party was supposed to start in…” I glanced at the clock. “Twenty-three minutes?” My scrambled brain couldn’t figure it out.
He wiped his hand on his T-shirt and grabbed his phone from his back pocket. He winced before swiping. “Hey, Josie.” A pause. “Sure, I can put you on speaker.”
In no way did he look pleased about this and, I suspected, if it had been any other day, he would’ve refused.
“Hey, Felix.”
“Hi—” I cleared my throat after the croak. “Hey, Josette.”
“Right. So, I hope you got your jollies off.”
I coughed.
She giggled. “Yeah, I figured. Don’t forget the party starts in twenty. I can hold off the hordes for a bit. At least shower and change so you don’t show up smelling like spunk—”
“Jesus, Josie.” Jacob winced.
Another laugh. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I know you keep a spare pair of underwear in your glove box. Shower and be here in…forty minutes?”
The drive would take eighteen…
“Okay, Josette.” I hit the end call button. “Like holy shit. You grab your underwear, and I’ll get the shower going.”
“Separately. You better be out by the time I get there. You don’t need to wash your hair.”
He was right, of course. I dashed upstairs while he headed out to his car.
Miraculously, we arrived at their parents’ house only eight minutes later than his sister had demanded. He parked his truck on the side of the road, almost a block away, because the street was full of vehicles. Yet we didn’t get out.
After a moment, he snagged my hand. “This is going to change everything.”
“I know.”
“Is this really what you want? Because it’s not too late to back out.”
I gazed into his ocean-blue eyes. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“Fuck no. I mean, when I woke up today, I didn’t think I’d be getting engaged to my sister’s fiancé.”
A laugh escaped my chest.
He kissed my knuckles. “But I also have zero regrets.”
“Then, let’s go.” And with more bravado than I felt, I leaned over and gave him another of those toe-curling kisses.
We exited the truck, headed into his parents’ house, and chaos ensued. But a good chaos. The kind where everyone pretended they’d known this was going to happen all along. The kind where our moms embraced us with hugs and tears. The kind where Wally took me aside and asked if this was really what I wanted and where Jacob’s dad, not so quietly, gave him the lecture about how to be a good husband.
Several hours later, Jacob drove me home.
In silence.
Because, really, what was there to say?
We didn’t make out, as I’d hoped. Instead, Jacob gave me a peck on the lips and a promise we’d make up for it next weekend. After the wedding.
That promise, along with the panic over my upcoming nuptials, kept me prowling my house the entire week. Although I spoke to Jacob every night, we didn’t actually manage to see each other. I couldn’t decide if this was some nefarious plan to give me blue balls, or if, as he said, he was busy finishing off a project so he could take time off with me after our wedding.
I believed him when he said that. Because Jacob didn’t lie to me. Hadn’t ever, really. Despite the fact I kept questioning his love for me, deep inside, I knew he wouldn’t lie about that either. He was a good man. Despite Josette’s machinations, if he hadn’t wanted to tie himself to me for the rest of his life, then he wouldn’t have. He’d have found a way to let me down gently.
Instead, each night, he talked about our future. About the trees we were going to plant. About the garden he wanted to build for me. One the deer couldn’t get into. About the kids we were going to have.
Oh, and the dog. I wasn’t allowed to forget the dog. We had plans, once we were home from our honeymoon, to visit the animal shelter. And we’d keep visiting until we found the perfect companion. Or two, Jacob said. Because we worked all day, the pooches would need company.
I should’ve been overwhelmed. Everything was happening so damn fast. Except everything also felt so damn right.
Saturday morning dawned bright, with pink streaking across the sky and puffy white clouds meandering along. The meteorologist predicted sunny skies with only a hint of wind. Given how tightly Josette and our mothers had tied down the arch, I didn’t figure the thing was going anywhere.
Jacob had built it, of course, weeks ago. Thinking he’d be standing off to the side while watching his sister marry me. Instead, he’d be front and center with Wally by his side and Josette by me.
Somehow, the champagne-colored silk gown she’d chosen was appropriate for a maid of honor. Not really suited for a bride at all.
More proof that had never been her plan.
A knock sounded on my bedroom door. “Come in.” I continued to struggle with my tie.
Wally stepped behind me.
Our gazes caught in the mirror.
“Turn around.”
I did, pinkening a little that I couldn’t even tie a bow tie.
In mere moments, Wally had it straight. “Mom and Christie are holding court downstairs. You should probably consider coming down, though.”
I bit my lower lip. “Is Jacob here yet?”
Wally snickered. “Josie’s decided it’s bad luck for you to see each other before he walks down the aisle. I don’t understand this whole walking down the aisle thing myself.”
“When you meet the right woman, you’ll want her to walk down the aisle to meet you as well. To pledge herself to you.”
“You’re worried he’s not going to show.”
“Of course not.” Yes. So that. “He said he’d be here. Jacob’s never let me down. Plus, I think Josette would kill him—given how much work she’s put into this.”
My brother chuckled. “Yeah. And I’d probably kill him too. For breaking your heart.” He feathered my hair. “You really want this?”
“Yeah, I do.”
He eyed me. “I suspected you were gay. Or maybe bi, since it seemed like you and Josie were going to tie the knot. And I’d have supported you,” he quickly assured me. “Just like I’m supporting you now. You being gay doesn’t bother me. Jacob being gay doesn’t bother me either. Kind of wish I’d known, though.”
“You never said homophobic things, Wally, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
The look of relief on his face, including the little smile, assured me I’d nailed his discomfort.
“Look, I probably should’ve known I was gay. Just…I never really felt physically attracted to anyone. I thought something was wrong with me—”
Wally cleared his throat. “But you and…”
“Yeah.”
“So you’re…”
“Yeah.” Heat crept into my cheeks. “Well, not entirely—”
He held up his hand. “Yeah, that’s all I need to know. I wouldn’t want to know about you and Josie any more than about you and Jacob. You’re my younger brother. We used to take baths together.” He punched me lightly in the arm. “And look at us now.”
I tilted my head. “You’ll meet someone.”
“Yeah. Maybe. In time.” He didn’t look convinced, and today wasn’t the time for this discussion.
I made a note to have it later.
Laughter filtered up from the backyard.
“I think I’m ready.”
Wally straightened my jacket lapels—which I was quite certain didn’t need straightening—and grinned. “Yeah, I think you are.”
About thirty people mingled in my backyard, many holding drinks. The day promised to be pretty hot. Good thing Josette had planned a midday ceremony. I’d be able to shed my jacket soon after the photos were taken.
Mom was the first to embrace me.
I cleared my throat. “Thanks for holding down the fort.”
“We figured you needed time.” She pointed to Christie, who was trying to wrangle Opal, our flower girl.
Justin and Stanley’s daughter was just the cutest thing ever.
Angus just grinned. He had infinite patience for the little girl.
Justin was conversing with Nita and Tanner while Stanley was deep in conversation with Ronald, Jacob’s father.
August and Julian stood off to one side, examining a tree.
Ben and Isaac held hands and gazed intently at each other.
Other friends filled in the spaces, including Jacob’s crew—looking all spiffy and presentable—as well as Aunt Bertha, Uncle Keller, and three of their kids. Oh, phew. Cousin Bradford was nowhere to be seen.
Josette appeared by my side. “The officiant is ready.” Her blue eyes sparkled. “Are you?”
I stood a little taller. “Yeah, I am.”
She pressed her lips to my cheek. “Great. I’ll get Opal settled, you stand by the arch, and your groom will be joining you in mere moments.”
Okay, this shit’s getting real.