Chapter Four #2
For the next three months, we met almost every afternoon in his one-bedroom apartment off-campus, where we’d have hot, passionate sex.
Every week or so, I’d ask him how the divorce was going and if it had become final, and he’d tell me Debra was making unreasonable demands, but it should be very soon.
There were stock and real estate holdings to work through, and of course they had to tell their children.
“Don’t worry. Soon, we’ll be together forever,” he promised, and I clung to him. “I love you.”
“Me too.” I sighed. “I love you so much.”
True to his promise, Lawrence had written me a glowing recommendation, and I’d accepted the offer from the DA’s office that served Appleton Falls, Harmony Rock, and Overlook, plus several other communities.
I had nothing to do until graduation but clean out my apartment.
While I waited to return some books to the law school library, I leafed through the Upstate Legal Times on the counter and stopped at a picture in the social section that turned my blood cold.
Lawrence and his wife were toasting each other while their children smiled at them in the background. Through blurry eyes, I scanned the article.
“Esteemed Criminal Law Professor Lawrence Gunther and his wife, Debra, celebrate twenty-five years of marriage at a party given by their children,” the caption read. I kept going.
“Debra and I have shared twenty-five wonderful years together,” Professor Gunther said, giving his wife all his praise. “She’s been the guiding force behind my success. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her love and support. I can’t wait to share another twenty-five years together.”
A knife to my heart couldn’t have hurt me more, but I knew what I had to do. Once graduation was finished, I packed up my things and moved into my new apartment. I deleted and blocked Lawrence from my phone. On my first day at work, he showed up in the parking lot.
“Jaxon, listen to me.” He cornered me by my car, but I pushed my finger in his face.
“You’re not getting a divorce, are you? You never were.” I hated how my voice cracked and trembled. “I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you. You’re a married man. I knew it was wrong, but I believed you were getting divorced. You lied to get me into bed.”
“I wanted to, but she’d take me for everything—”
“Liar,” I spat. “You used me.”
The mask dropped, and his lip curled. “Everyone uses people. Get used to it if you want to get ahead in this world.”
“I feel sorry for you. Because you don’t even know the truth anymore. You’re too busy lying about who you are.”
“Just you wait. One day, you’ll see you’ll have to hide who you are to get ahead. Do you think I’d be where I am today if they knew about me fucking guys?”
Every word hit me like a bullet.
“That’s all I was to you? A guy to fuck? I thought you loved me. You said you did.”
He flicked a disinterested gaze over me. “You’re going to be a lawyer. First lesson—people will lie to your face all the time.”
He walked away.
My phone rang, returning me to the present. Surprising wetness trickled down my cheek, and I hastily wiped it away.
“Yes?” I asked Martin.
“It’s George Winston,” he singsonged, and my lips twitched. “Guess the rumor mill has started.” Martin had been in the trenches long enough to know how the game was played.
“Oh brother,” I muttered. “Fine. Put him through.” I rubbed my eyes dry. “Hello, George.”
“Jax. How the hell are you?”
God, I hated smarmy assholes, but I knew how to play the game— if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. “I’m great. How the hell are you?” I matched his hearty tone.
“Same, same. I hear you’re going to be on the ballot. Hoping to get Rodriguez’s spot on the bench.”
“Is that what you heard? Who told you that? I wasn’t aware any decisions were made.”
“Eh, that’s not important.” He sidestepped my question as if skidding on ice. “I’m planning to run myself.”
“Is that so?” I could be as dodgy as him if I wanted. I’d been around enough politics.
“I’d hate to see you trounced in a head-to-head race.
You’re a nice guy and a good lawyer for sure, but I’m not so sure the constituents up here are ready for a gay judge.
I have strong support—you know the people up here like stable, family-oriented people.
They’re pretty conservative. Nothing personal, but—”
“Nothing personal?” I cut him off, more outraged than I’d thought possible. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you trying to persuade me not to run by using the fact that I’m an unmarried gay man against me?” Anger had me shaking. The balls on this guy. And yet…that old insecurity popped up.
Had Lawrence been right? Had I made a mistake by coming out and would that ruin my chances at becoming a judge?
“Of course not. But you know the constituents. Their interest is in crime, drugs, and taxes, not gay rights—”
“You mean human rights?” I sneered. “I think the voters up here are smart enough to be concerned with all kinds of issues that affect everyone in the state of New York, not just their own backyard. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work.”
I ended the call, and Martin immediately entered my office. “What did he want?”
As I relayed the conversation, Martin’s face tightened in anger.
“What a putz. He’s letting you know that your sexuality will be a focal point of his campaign.
Right or wrong, he’ll inject it subtly. You need to think about what we discussed.
” His eyes twinkled. “I’m telling you, find that boyfriend. ”
“Hmm.”
Something in my face must’ve given me away, because Martin pounced.
“What? Do you have someone in mind?”
I shrugged, unwilling to answer, as I wasn’t quite sure if I’d blown my chance with Theo.
But I fully intended to find out.