Chapter Six
Jaxon
Now came the hard part: convincing Theo. I’d have to choose my words carefully and be honest. He deserved nothing less. Theo might be one of the purest souls I’d ever met. I didn’t think I’d ever heard a negative word against him.
“You’re a really nice man. And if I were interested in a relationship, you’re the type of person I’d want to be with.”
His gaze dropped, but I watched the tips of his ears grow red. A second or two passed before he met my eyes again. “You don’t actually expect me to believe that.”
Who the hell had beaten down his confidence? Maybe this fake boyfriend proposal could help Theo as much as it would me.
“Why? You’re gorgeous, a successful businessman, and a kindhearted person. I’ve seen how you treat your workers, and you always volunteer to help various charities, as well as law enforcement.”
As I spoke, Theo turned redder.
“Yeah, sure, I’m a Boy Scout,” he said bitterly, focusing on his hands, avoiding me. “But why are you telling me this now? I didn’t need to come out tonight for you to tell me you’re not interested in dating me. I’ve had enough one-and-done dates in my life.”
“Hey, look at me. That’s not why I asked you here. The exact opposite, in fact.” I pushed aside my coffee cup. “I have a proposal for you.”
I licked my dry lips. Why was this more difficult than making an opening statement to the jury in a murder case?
Because this was personal.
He raised his gaze, those big green eyes wary. “A proposal? I’m not following.”
“Let me explain. Last week, I had lunch with one of the judges on the Court of Appeals—that’s the highest court in New York State.”
“I thought the Supreme Court was.” Puzzled, Theo’s brows knit together, and I allowed a smile.
“One would think, but not in New York. We like to be different. Anyway, he was the one who alerted me that the party is interested in running me as their candidate and the one who stated that my past and the fact that my opponent is a married family man will work against me.” I paused.
“So…I was thinking. You want a relationship. I need one. What if we helped each other?”
His face flamed, and his full lips fell open.
“Are you suggesting I pretend to be your boyfriend so you can win an election? Isn’t that defrauding the people?”
Now it was my turn to grow hot, and I glanced around to make sure no one had heard our conversation.
Dammit. Why the hell was I so nervous? I’d thought this was going to be easy.
Was what I proposed so wrong? I’d thought the benefit would negate my lack of transparency, but Theo had me second-guessing myself. I wasn’t used to that.
“Not as I see it. We like talking with each other, right? You said you have trouble meeting people and socializing. Why not make this work for you as well? Use it to help yourself gain confidence. We can try it out, like going to the GAINS benefit together tomorrow night. Who knows?” I attempted to lighten the mood.
“Maybe we’ll really like each other. Stranger things have happened. What do you think?”
“Like you’re trying to make something out of nothing.
” Theo glared at me. “No less than two minutes ago you stated you weren’t interested in a relationship, so why pretend it might grow into something more?
You’re only doing this to get elected, and you don’t care about anything—or anyone—else.
Or maybe because of what you saw that night, you think I’m desperate enough to go for it. ”
I had to admit, Theo alone, his eyes flashing fire, was a whole different person than the man at the bar, stammering and blushing.
Color me intrigued.
“Come on, you can admit that was a foolish decision. And potentially dangerous. And, I didn’t say anything about getting physical. We don’t even have to hold hands.”
“Of course not.” Theo’s lips trembled. “I wouldn’t expect you to want that.”
I winced. “No. That’s not what I meant. You’re a really nice guy—”
“Yeah. I know.” An icy mask hardened his normal, passive expression. “I’d like to go home now.”
Damn. I’d fucked this up royally. Again. For someone who made his living with words, I was babbling like an unprepared first-year law student.
“Please, let me explain it more thoroughly.”
His lips thinned. “Trust me, I think you’ve said it all.”
I could try to plead my case, but judging by Theo’s stone-cold face, the conversation was finished for the evening. Plus, we were in public. Not the right time to push when I now had to think about repercussions. So I called Julie over and handed her a twenty.
“This should cover the bill, and the rest is for you.”
“Thanks.” She tucked it into her pocket. “Have a great night.”
Theo was already up and out of his seat, and I didn’t catch up with him until the middle of the parking lot. I grabbed his arm.
“Theo, wait! Come on. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
The overhead lights caught the glitter of wetness in his eyes. Were those tears? Shit.
“You’re lying. Talk to me.”
“You don’t need to explain anything else. I know you’d never go for a guy like me unless there was something else going on. I just wish you’d told me this at the bar instead of—”
I pulled him close, and his breath hitched. Inches from mine, his mouth trembled, and its softness was tempting beyond belief. But I couldn’t kiss him in the parking lot of the Blue Bird Diner. Theo was a man who needed to be wined and dined to realize he was worth it, so I released him.
“You’re wrong. But if your answer is no, I won’t bother you about it. I’m going to drive you home now, all right?”
He nodded and trailed after me to my car. We stayed silent on the ride home, and when we reached his house, he had the door open before the car even stopped at the curb.
“See you at the GAINS benefit?” I called out after him.
“I doubt it.”
“Jet and Harte are your friends. You don’t have to talk to me, but I think it would be nice to go and support them.”
“Thanks, but I don’t need a lecture from you on friendship,” he replied without looking back.
I watched him stomp up the stairs and into his house. I put the car in gear and drove to my apartment.
“Well, that was a bust,” I said to the mirror as I washed my face.
Should I keep pushing with Theo or move on?
Realistically, I should cut my losses—Theo’s refusal had been pretty adamant.
But I hadn’t gotten to where I was by giving up easily.
I still had time to convince Theo that my idea would benefit both of us.
I wanted this judgeship, and now, I wanted Theo by my side.
Plus, maybe there was also a tiny spurt of spite guiding my decision. Somewhere, Lawrence Gunther would one day see that I didn’t have to hide who I was to get what I wanted. I might be faking a relationship, but I wouldn’t be faking who I was in my heart.
**
A manslaughter case kept me busy until midweek, giving me little time to dwell on my potential run for judge or anything but witness interviews and trial preparation.
I’d gotten into my office before eight in the morning every day, and today I’d spent three grueling hours reviewing depositions.
Finally on a break, I sat, drinking my umpteenth cup of coffee while catching up on emails, when Martin buzzed me.
“Jet Saunders here to see you.”
I closed my tired eyes. The glare from the computer screen was going to wreak havoc on my vision soon.
“He doesn’t have an appointment, does he?” Deputies would often testify for the prosecution, but I had nothing on my calendar with Jet.
“No. Should I tell him you’re busy?”
Curious as to why he was here, I shut down the email I was reading. “No, send him in, please.”
I rose from my chair, wincing at my stiffness. Hours spent sitting in place for depositions and then at my desk had locked my back. Damn, getting older sucked.
At the tap on my door, I pulled it open.
“Jet, hey, come on in.” We shook hands. “Sit for a minute, or was this a quick hi and bye?”
We were friendly but not friends, and I usually only saw him at Sweeny’s or in court.
He pulled out a chair at my small, round conference table, and I joined him.
“I’ll take a moment. Busy day?”
“Yeah. Just finished trial prep and was going through some work. It never ends.”
“I bet.” He clasped his hands and gave me a forced smile. “So, I wanted to talk to you about Theo.”
Caught completely by surprise, I met his gaze. “What about him?”
“We went to school together. He’s a really nice guy.”
“I’m aware. I think we’ve had this discussion before.”
Years of litigation had taught me all about keeping my mouth shut. Less was always more. If he thought I’d spill my guts to him about my personal life, he was going to leave my office upset.
The fake friendly veneer vanished. “He’s had it rough his whole life, and I’d hate to see him hurt.”
“And you’re assuming I’m going to hurt him because…”
I wanted to hear his answer, even though I knew what was coming.
Jet huffed. “Come on, Jaxon. You can’t deny you’ve got a rep. You’ve never shied away from discussing all the men you’ve been with. Theo isn’t like that.”
Based on what I’d observed the prior week, I believed I knew a bit more about Theo’s personal life than Jet, but I wanted to hear more from a man who’d known Theo since he was a child.
“I guess you’ve never heard opposites attract?”
He made a face. “This is what I mean. You don’t take things seriously. Theo deserves someone who really cares about him and isn’t only thinking about how to get him into bed.”
It took a lot to annoy me, but Jet had managed that pretty easily.
“You and I barely know each other, yet you think you have the right to come to my place of work and lecture me on my personal life?”
“It’s not your personal life I give a damn about. It’s Theo’s. He’s only recently come out and isn’t all that experienced. Last year at Bradford’s wedding, I told you to leave him alone, but you—”
“I think you should stop there. I’ve always respected you, and I don’t want that to change, but Theo is a grown man capable of making his own decisions. Do you think he’d appreciate you coming here to warn me off him?”
He flushed. “I don’t mean to come off like an asshole.”
I decided to tell Jet what I was trying to accomplish—maybe he’d see at it as a way to help Theo, too. I’d have to make sure I explained myself carefully, though.
“I get it. You’re looking out for Theo. But there’s more to this than you think.”
His brow puckered. “What’re you talking about?”
Not wishing to be interrupted, I swung around and picked up my desk phone.
“Martin, can you hold my calls? Thanks.” I faced Jet again.
“Okay. I’ve been approached to run for the bench, but my opponent is a straight married man with five kids who is going to make the case that a single gay man isn’t representative of their values.
” I paused because I needed to tell Jet the entire truth.
“I was also told by a member of the bench that it would appear better for me to have a steady partner.”
Jet’s eyes grew stormy. “And you chose Theo as your target. I knew it.” He slapped his hand on the table.
“Harte said I was overreacting, but I couldn’t shake the thought that there was something else going on.
I can’t believe you’d seduce a sweet guy like him for your own personal reasons. Wow, that’s really low.”
“No,” I protested. “I told Theo everything. There’s no subterfuge.” At the skeptical curl of Jet’s lips, I shook my head in frustration. “I’m serious. I told him the plan, and he chided me for trying to defraud people.”
No need to tell him about the almost kiss in the parking lot. But I hadn’t stopped thinking about it.
“Of course he did. Because he’s right. You’re running for judgeship, yet you have no compunction about lying to the public?”
“Enough,” I snapped. “I can do tremendous good on the bench. Plus, I do like Theo as a person. This proposal could benefit him too.”
“Aren’t you sweet?” Jet drawled, the sarcasm unmistakable.
“Yeah, I am. Because I want the guy to live a little. What the hell have you done to help him get over his shyness and feeling like he’s a nobody?”
“Harte and I set him up with people through GAINS.”
I snorted. “Because Theo is so into sports. Come on.”
Jet turned red and sputtered. “We tried what we thought was best.”
“Well, that’s what I’m doing.” Why the hell was I explaining myself to Jet?
“I’ve got to get back to work.” I could see Jet didn’t believe a word I was saying, but it wasn’t his business, and I didn’t have the luxury of time to sit all afternoon and convince him.
Nor did I believe I was required to. I rose from my seat, and Jet followed me to the door.
“I’ll see you at the GAINS party tonight?
If my invitation isn’t rescinded, that is. ”
Jet rolled his eyes. “Of course not. There will be lots of people there. Might as well start putting your face out there if you’re going to be a judge.”
“It’s not a given. I still need to win.”
“Just so you know, I’ll be telling Harte. We both care about Theo, and we don’t want to see him hurt.”
With that parting shot, he left, and I closed the door behind him. I wondered if Theo knew the friends he had in his corner and how lucky he was.
Now I only had to get him to see that I could be a friend as well.