Chapter Nine
Theo
I didn’t belong here. For years, I’d dreamed of coming to this restaurant on a special-occasion date.
It was as romantic and intimate as I’d speculated—the atmosphere hushed, the patrons all well-dressed, and the table settings opulent with gold-rimmed china and crystal glasses.
On our way to our table, I spied delicious cuts of meat with rich sauces, and every table boasted fresh flowers.
A far cry from Sweeny’s sticky floor from all the spilled drinks, plastic menus, and greasy food, where sports were all over the televisions and raucous voices cheered.
Here we had soft classical music playing in the background. Diners in suits and cocktail dresses. A world for the well-to-do.
Jaxon’s world and I sensed my honesty bothered him. He wasn’t all grins now.
“So why did you say what you did?”
He didn’t sound angry. Merely sad, as if he believed I wouldn’t help.
“I spoke quickly because something seemed off with that man. I thought he was goading you, and I didn’t like it.” That was part of the reason, but the only one I was willing to say out loud.
“Thank you.” Jaxon’s taut face relaxed. “I appreciate it. I believe he was, because he’s already suspicious of us."
“Why? I thought he accepted what you told him.”
Jaxon’s lips twitched. “That’s because you have a pure heart and aren’t a cynical bastard like me. I’ve seen George Winston in the courtroom, and he’s a relentless bulldog when he senses weakness.”
Our drinks arrived, and we each took a sip.
“What weakness? I stepped in and said we were dating.”
“Yes. But he knew I wasn’t with anyone only a few days ago. He even mentioned hearing I was cozy with someone at the lecture I gave at the hotel in Albany.”
I winced, and humiliation burned a hot path through my body.
“Don’t remind me,” I muttered, but I couldn’t help recalling Jaxon kissing another man in the elevator.
What would his mouth feel like on mine?
“I talked my way out of it.” Jaxon played with his straw, but his probing gaze came to rest on me, and I shifted in my seat.
Did he know what I was thinking? “But I doubt that will be enough. If he’s going to be questioning me about my personal life, as I suspect, I’m going to have to be vigilant about every single thing I do, down to getting my cup of coffee in the morning. ”
My stomach turned. “That sounds awful. I’m sorry.”
He sighed and leaned back against the tufted leather of the banquette. The flickering light from the candle sitting between us cast shadows on his stubbled jaw, highlighting the shadow of his cheekbones. His mouth was full, lips firm. God, he was so good-looking.
My breath kicked up, and my heart pounded. I hadn’t had sex in so long, and imagining his hands on me, I tingled all over.
“It’s hard, but maybe you’re right. I shouldn’t drag you into this. Your personal life will be as much of a target as mine, and it wouldn’t be fair.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I don’t have one. I go to work and come home. That’s it.”
“Don’t kid yourself,” he said darkly, meeting my eyes. “They’ll expect us to be together. All night sometimes.”
Another wave of heat rolled through me, and I was glad the subdued lighting hid my furious blush.
“That, uh, would be okay. Y-you could stay in one of the spare bedrooms.”
Jaxon grinned. “And you could come to mine. I have a pull-out couch in the second bedroom I use for an office.”
Our soups arrived, and Jaxon picked up his spoon to break through the top layer of cheese, then blew on the steaming broth. The soup was as delicious as he’d promised, and I cleaned the bowl of every last drop.
“This was amazing.”
“So, does this mean you’re still considering playing my boyfriend?”
If I said no, I’d return to spending my nights at home, watching reruns of some old show and cars pass by my window.
If I agreed, I’d probably have nights socializing with friends like Jet and Harte and meeting celebrities like all the sports figures, but most of all, quiet dinners with Jaxon.
Quiet…moments…with Jaxon, just the two of us.
Not that anything was going to happen between us, but perhaps I could practice my dating skills. Helping Jaxon would be a social experiment for my dating life. There was, however, a bigger obstacle to consider.
“We still have the problem of deception. You want to be a judge, and it’s not right to lie to the public about your relationship. It’s something I’m wrestling with, and don’t know how to fix.”
His mouth drooped. “I know. But let’s put this whole thing on the back burner for now and enjoy the rest of our dinner. I’m having a very nice time, and I hope you are too.”
If he could lie so easily about our dating, how would I know if he was telling me the truth?
But he reached out a hand across the snow-white tablecloth, and I hesitated for only a second before taking it.
His palm was warm and firm, and our eyes met.
We could be friends and let the public come to their own conclusion.
Would that be so wrong? Was I making excuses because I so badly wanted this to continue?
Maybe it was time for me to stop overanalyzing everything and go with the proverbial flow.
The server approached with our food, and I released Jaxon’s hand.
Turned out Jaxon was right about the steak too; I left nothing on my plate save the bone. I groaned and rubbed my stomach.
“Oh, my God. I think that was the best meal of my life.”
Jaxon folded his napkin and laid it on the table next to his equally empty plate. “I won’t say I told you so, but…” He smirked, and I laughed.
“So that’s the way it goes?”
There was none of the awkwardness of my previous dates, and I wished this could be real. But I’d accepted the evening, knowing where we stood.
“Jaxon?”
An older, distinguished man in a three-piece suit waited a foot away from our table. Immediately, Jaxon rose to his feet.
“Your Honor, good to see you again.” I watched as they greeted each other, and my heart slammed when Jaxon put a hand on my shoulder. “I’d like to introduce you to Theo Sweeny. Theo, this is Chief Justice Alexander McCourt.”
Hoping my shaky legs would hold me, I slowly rose to my feet. This would be more of a test than being in a crowd, where all the attention wasn’t focused directly on me.
“Hello, sir. I mean, Your Honor. Sorry.”
He shook my hand. “No worries. Very nice to meet you. Just finished dinner?”
“We came from a benefit and decided it would be nice to spend some time alone,” Jaxon answered.
“How did you enjoy your meal?” Judge McCourt inquired.
“It was very good,” I said softly. “Jaxon recommended the French onion soup and rib eye, and it was delicious.”
The judge’s piercing eyes assessed me, and he gave me a brief nod. “I’ll leave you two as my wife is waiting. Jaxon, are you in the office tomorrow?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Expect my call.” He clasped Jaxon’s hand. “Good to see you. And very nice to meet you, Theo.”
“S-same, sir.”
Ramrod straight and with a nod of his head, the judge left us, and Jaxon released an audible whoosh.
If I wasn’t mistaken, he’d turned pale under his scruff.
I’d never seen Jaxon Polaris anything less than confident, and I wondered why talking to the judge would make him so nervous. Didn’t he do this all the time?
We took our seats, and after the busboy cleared the dishes, the server returned.
“Coffee, cappuccino, dessert, gentlemen?”
Jaxon looked at me, but I shook my head. “I’m full.”
“Same. Just the check, please.”
We sat in silence for a moment, and though I was desperate to come up with something witty or interesting to fill the deepening silence between us, my mind remained blank.
As usual, this was where I screwed up. I was miserable at small talk and never knew what to say.
Fortunately, Jaxon seemed not to notice, as he stared at the empty table.
“That judge, he’s really important?” Was my question foolish?
“Very.” His lips barely moved.
My heart sank. Jaxon’s obvious disappointment made me withdraw as well.
Once he signed the bill, we retrieved our coats and walked outside. Snowflakes danced around us, and I lifted my face to the night sky. I loved snow—it made everything, no matter how ugly, appear so new and fresh and pure.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you.” I raised my hand to Jaxon, who was standing by his car.
“I’ll be by Sweeny’s tomorrow night. Coffee afterward?”
My foolish heart leaped. “Oh, yeah. Okay.”
“Give me your number in case I can’t make it. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m standing you up.”
I recited it and he took it down and texted me. At the phone’s vibration I couldn’t help the slight thrill, knowing I had my long-time secret crush’s number. God I was silly.
Two long strides brought Jaxon to my side, the earlier silence replaced by his usual intensity, making me wonder if I’d been mistaken and I hadn’t done as badly as I thought I had with the judge.
“I’m hoping you’ll let me come over after Sweeny’s closes so we can get to know each other better and make it easier for you to decide if you’re truly ready to do this.”
I didn’t trust my voice and merely nodded.
The tips of his fingers glided against my cold cheek, and I shivered, but not from the chilly wind. The exact opposite, as sharing the same air with Jaxon had me burning from head to toe.
“Good night, Theo.”
“N-night.”
I stood, watching him get into his car and drive away.
I did the same, and when I returned home, I took off my new clothes and changed into the comfy old sweats I wore to offset the drafty house.
Still wound up from the events of the evening, I turned on the television but couldn’t concentrate on that either.
Was Jaxon planning on staying the night? With me? I hugged myself. It had been so long since I’d been with anyone. Instinctively, I knew sex with Jaxon Polaris would be different. He would be impossible to forget.