Chapter 4
Ellie
Ten years earlier
“Matthew Hightower. I have a bone to pick with you.” Jennifer’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard. She’s a rude, nasty mean girl, but her voice is cringy all on its own.
I open my locker and fish out my geometry textbook. I have no idea why I have to study this. When on earth will I ever need geometry? While these other kids all compete for college scholarships, I’ll be stuck in this holiday-themed town for the rest of my life. Tourists coming from far and wide to visit an island dedicated to all things Christmas. All I’m wishing for is a winning lottery ticket, so Pops and I can live a better life than the one we’re living now.
Okay, and maybe a date with the school’s star soccer player.
“You were supposed to call me last night after you got home from practice,” Jennifer whines.
“Why would you think that?” I can practically feel Matt’s deep voice rumble against my back before I hear it. Gah. Everything about him makes me warm and tingly.
“Oh, don’t tease. You and I both know exactly how you feel about me.”
“I think only one of us is clear on that.” With my back to him, it’s hard to make out if this is playful banter. But everyone knows he’s dating the homecoming queen. Trust me. She’s made it her mission in life to ensure every person, from the cafeteria staff to that freshman who just transferred to our school, is keenly aware of who she’s seeing.
“Or has your taste in women changed?” She cackles before making a “moooooo” sound.
My hair instantly stands on end. Feeling paranoid, I look over my shoulder to see her looking directly at me with a look of superiority. All of the jocks and cheerleaders surrounding Jennifer and Matthew immediately burst out laughing at my witnessing her joke in real-time. No one seems the least bit embarrassed. Matthew isn’t laughing, but he doesn’t step away. And unlike in my dreams, he definitely doesn’t come to my defense. He just stares as they all guffaw around him.
“Awe, don’t be like that.” Jennifer slinks over to stand beside me, and I steel myself for what I know is coming. This is nothing new. I’ve dealt with it for years. “You have to know I’m joking.” She bites down on her lip for added effect. “I mean, if your own momma didn’t want you, why would someone like Matt?”
Willing myself not to shed a tear in front of these hateful people, I let my eyes flick over to Matthew, only to discover he’s no longer there. I turn back to close my locker and walk away, hoping not to let her see how she affects me. Not that it matters when all I can hear is their laughter in the distance.
The students at Christmas High are a mix of uber-wealthy kids residing in oceanfront homes and those of us from the outskirts of the community. I’d grown up on a farm, living in a mobile home with my Grandpa and Grandma Joan. Well, until my grandma died of pancreatic cancer two years ago. Now it’s just Pops and me.
This town is small. Your affairs are everyone’s business around here. So it was the talk of the town when my mom got pregnant at seventeen. According to my grandpa, my mother was already failing out of school, caught up with the wrong crowd. It wasn’t uncommon for her not to return home at night. Getting pregnant with me simply gave her the excuse she needed to drop out.
I remember my grandparents set me down as a small child to tell me she’d been in a car accident and wouldn’t be coming back. They cried as they held me, explaining she and the driver had made a lot of poor choices in their lives, and now everyone had to pay. None of that made sense back then.
Later, I learned she’d wanted to give me up for adoption, yet my grandparents wouldn’t allow it. They took me in and cared for me, explaining their daughter wasn’t capable of being the type of mother a child needed. It wasn’t until much later that I discovered the man driving the car was my biological father. He’d survived the accident but was charged with her death and sent to prison.
The gossip spread through town like a virus. Everyone knew about my story before I was old enough to understand it. My grandparents tried their best to shield me from the cruelty of strangers, but they were mourning the loss of their only daughter on top of raising their grandchild. They did the best they could. I never doubted they loved me. And for that, I’m grateful. I try to remember that as I hold my head high, trying not to let anyone see if a few tears escaped.
While Matt wasn’t there when I turned around, I had my suspicions he’d heard it all and laughed along with the rest. Why not? I was no one to him.
But deep down, I wasn’t ready to accept my crush could be that cruel.