Chapter 40
CHAPTER
FORTY
Mascen
Break is passing too quickly. I’ve never in my life wanted time to slow down like I do now. I know when Cole gets back and classes start up things will be different. I won’t see her every day. I won’t wake up with her in my arms. I won’t feel … complete.
Fuck, I never thought a girl would ever get to me like she does. I didn’t think I would like the feeling of being so wrapped up in another person, but instead of feeling like I’m leashed I feel freer than I ever have.
With Christmas behind us and New Year’s just around the corner there really isn’t much time left.
I used to think I had so much of it, time that is, but I’m discovering there’s far too little of it when it counts.
“I win!” Rory throws her hands up after counting her money.
“Impossible,” I grumble, picking up the money I earned while playing The Game of Life with her.
“Don’t be such a sore loser. I beat you by more than a million dollars.”
“Let’s go again.”
“I’ve won the last three times. You think fourth time’s the charm?” She raises a brow and reaches to push her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“Maybe.”
Winning isn’t as important as seeing her have fun.
She resets everything and we go again.
Collapsing in bed beside her that night I wrap my arm around her tiny frame, pulling her against my body.
“Mascen,” she wiggles against me, “let me go, I have to pee.”
“Not yet.” I bury my head into the crook of her neck. She giggles when my hair tickles her skin.
“If you keep holding me like this I’m going to think you like me.”
I know it’s a joke, but after all our bickering and my harsh words in months prior I feel the need to make it clear to her that I do. “Mmm,” I hum against her skin. “I do like you. Very much. More than I should.”
She stiffens a tiny bit in my arms and I’m worried I’ve said something I shouldn’t have.
“I like you too,” she whispers back. “This is complicated, isn’t it, Mascen?”
She pulls my hand off her stomach, twining our fingers together. Her skin is lighter than my tanned hue with a couple of freckles.
“It shouldn’t be…”
“But it is,” she finishes for me.
She rolls over to face me, tucking her hands under her head. “This might sound cheesy as hell, but I’d rather do complicated with you than uncomplicated with anyone else.”
I crack a smile, amused at her declaration. Smoothing a piece of hair behind her ear, I say, “I don’t know how to do this. Be someone’s … person and … I have my best friend to think about.”
“I know.” She frowns. “But Cole’s a good guy, he’ll get over it.”
“I’m not so sure,” I admit, my voice shaking.
“What do you mean?” Her nose wrinkles with confusion.
I roll onto my back, curling my right arm behind my head as I look at the ceiling. “Look, you know how I am. I’m moody, arrogant, a jerk—most people call me an asshole more than anything else. I’m the antagonist of a story. Cole … he’ll think I’m doing this just to be a piece of shit.”
“Then explain it to him,” she argues like it’s so simple.
I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Arguing about it will do no good.
Drawing my finger down her cheek, I whisper, “You know I will.”
And I’ll try, when the time comes, but Cole’s seen the way I am for years. He’s not going to be easily convinced I care about Rory. And maybe that’s a good thing, maybe I should end this before it goes further. I tend to ruin everything so who am I to believe that she’ll be any different?