16. Zoey
CHAPTER 16
ZOEY
I grin at the giant A circled on my paper. I busted my butt on my essay for my anatomy professor. I’d heard he was a hard ass, but I was determined not to let this class drop my GPA and so far, I’m off to a pretty good start.
Doing a little happy dance as I exit the classroom, I cringe at my awkwardness and hope no one noticed. Swinging my backpack around I stuff the papers inside. I can’t wipe the grin off my face. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I see a message.
Dad: We still on for lunch today?
Me: I’m leaving class now. I’ll meet you at the café.
Dad: Do you know what you want? I’ll go ahead and order.
I text him back what I want and I’m tucking my phone away when I hear my name being yelled across the quad. I look up and see Teddy waving at me as he jogs over.
“What’s up?”
He throws an arm around my shoulders tugging me against his side. “I wanted to say sorry for the other night. Thanks for … thanks for looking out for me.”
I get the impression that Teddy rarely apologizes for his actions.
“You’re welcome. Next time, don’t try to strip tease at a party.”
He grins, his arm dropping from around my neck. “Come on, Z, everyone wants a piece of me.” He grabs his crotch.
Rolling my eyes, I push my hand against his arm. Of course, he doesn’t even stumble. The guy is pure muscle.
“You’re calling me Z now?” He falls into step beside me as I head toward the café on the other end of campus.
“Sure, my new best friend needs a nickname.”
“Does that mean I have to come up with one for you?”
“Sex God will do.”
I roll my eyes as he laughs uproariously. A guy passes him and high-fives him.
Men .
“I don’t think so.”
“True, Cole might get jealous.” He grins at me. “Don’t think I don’t miss the little dancey-dance you two are doing.” He spins in front of me, hands up like he’s waltzing with someone. Back beside me, he shrugs. “Honestly, I think you two need to just do it already. It’s inevitable.”
“Nothing is inevitable,” I defend, lifting my chin in the air.
“Mhmm, keep telling yourself that, Z.” He hooks his fingers around his backpack straps. “Where you headed?”
“Lunch with my dad.”
“Oh, I didn’t know your parents lived around here.”
“Just my dad. My mom’s dead.”
He winces. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. But I do have to go.”
“All right, all right.” He grins, walking backwards down a loop in the cobblestone sidewalk that heads in the other direction. “I’ll see you later.”
I lift my hand in goodbye and take a deep breath, bracing myself for lunch with my dad.
Entering the café a few minutes later, I inhale the heavenly scent of coffee beans and baked goods. My dad stands, towering above everyone else, and waves me over to the table he secured in the back corner.
“Thanks for coming,” he says in his extra deep voice as he sits back down. “It’s nice to get to spend some time with just you. Even though I love having you to the house for dinner.”
I give him a small smile, and it’s not even forced.
“This is nice,” I agree, settling in front of the B.L.T. I had him order for me.
“The food just got delivered so perfect timing.”
“I’m starving.” My stomach rumbles in agreement to my words.
“How are your classes going?” he asks, staring down at his salmon meal. The café serves some fancy ass food, I guess to cater to the rich tastes of most of the kids who attend.
“Good, I got an A on my anatomy essay.” I pull it out of my backpack and hand it over like a proud little kid.
“That’s amazing!” He grins, eyes scanning the opening lines of my paper. “Can I keep this?”
“Why?” I ask curiously.
“To put on the fridge beside Gabe and Isaac’s school stuff.”
It’s dumb. I’m twenty-one years old, and it’s a college essay of all things, but the fact he wants to display it on the refrigerator along with my brothers’ stuff feels good. It makes me feel wanted, like I belong. I’m not the outsider I wanted to make myself believe I was in his family.
“Y-You can keep it,” I stutter, trying to keep my emotions at bay.
“Thanks.” He sets it beside him on the table.
“Dad?” My voice is hesitant.
“Yeah?” He looks up from his plate.
“I love you.”
He rears back, startled by my words. It makes me sick to my stomach to admit it, but I haven’t told my dad I love him for years. I was punishing him. And myself. I deluded myself into believing he didn’t love me, or he would have stayed. It was a childish way of thinking. Just because my parents fell out of love, didn’t mean either of them stopped loving me. But I placed all the blame of the divorce on him and that was unfair.
He swallows thickly, looking down to hide the emotions in his eyes, but I see it.
“I love you, too.” He glances up at me. “You’re my little girl. You’ll always be my baby.”
I reach across the table, taking his hand. “I’m sorry.”
For hurting you.
For hurting me.
For everything.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“Yes, I do. I pushed you away. Over and over. I said mean, hurtful things to you. I was awful.”
He squeezes my hand back. “You were a child and you were hurting. It was understandable. You didn’t understand?—”
I snort. “I was a brat.”
He chuckles, but tears shimmer in his eyes. “Your mom and I might’ve fallen out of love, but I never, not for one second, stopped loving you. And frankly, a part of me will always love your mom, but when you’re not in love with someone, it hurts to stay.”
“I see that now.”
It’s taken years for me to gain that clarity, but I’m glad it didn’t take a second longer. I don’t want to miss out on a relationship with my dad, or even Allison, and definitely not my siblings. I know my mom, wherever she is, is proud of me.
“It’s good to have you back, baby girl.”
“I love you,” I say again, because I can, because I haven’t forbidden myself from those words anymore.
And my dad? He beams, like I’ve given him the greatest gift ever.
“You’re a saint,” Cole exhales in relief upon opening the door to the apartment and finding me in the kitchen making dinner.
“It’s almost ready.”
“I could kiss you right now.” His eyes widen with realization of what he’s said. “Not that I’m going to or anything.” He walks over to me and tries to peek in the oven. “What are you making?”
“Roasted chicken and vegetables.”
“I think I love you.” Again, his eyes grow large. “I’m going to change before I get myself in trouble.”
I laugh, brushing off his words. I know he didn’t mean any of it, so I’m not reading into it.
The timer goes off and I pull the meal out, getting our plates ready. I’m not much of a cook, I’ve never really liked being in the kitchen, so Cole does most of the cooking and I usually clean up. But I figured he’d be tired after his morning and afternoon practices, not to mention the classes in between.
Cole comes down the hall, having changed into black sweatpants and an oversized Aldridge University sweatshirt. I quickly avert my gaze before I do something dumb.
Like drool.
He’s a basketball player. Stay far away.
My vow feels moot at this point since my dad is the main reason I always said I’d stay away from anyone who played the sport, and I’ve forgiven him. But it doesn’t change the logistics of the fact that from whispers on campus Cole is headed straight for the NBA and pursuing a relationship with anyone with that kind of spotlight shined on them would be a disaster waiting to happen. The women who throw themselves at players, regardless of whether or not they’re married is laughable.
And it’s not like I’m looking for commitment from anyone. Not after Todd. I’m better off on my own for a while.
“Where’d you go?”
I jump at the feel of Cole tapping his finger against my forehead. “Sorry, zoned out.” I shake myself free of my thoughts.
“Looked like it.”
I force a smile and sit down with my plate. He grabs a root beer from the fridge and looks at me over his shoulder. “You want one?”
“Yeah.” I jerk my head in a nod.
He grabs another and settles beside me on the other barstool. “This smells amazing.”
“Thanks, I had some help from a Food Network recipe so I can’t take all the credit.”
“Doesn’t matter.” He clinks our glasses together.
We dig into our meal and we’re almost done when there’s a knock on the door. Before either of us can get up, the door swings open and Teddy is tucking keys back into his pocket.
Cole snaps his fingers, pointing at Teddy. “I’m going to need those keys back.”
“No can do, man.”
“Why are you even here?” He grumbles as Teddy stocks some of his favorite beer in the refrigerator.
“Jude said he was having a few friends over. A few turned into a full-fledged party. So, here I am.” He spreads his arms wide. “Can’t have mommy and daddy dearest catching wind of it and look I don’t mind trouble, but it’s going to be my choice.”
Cole’s chest rattles with a sigh. “You can sleep on the couch.”
“Thanks, Dad.” He tries to steal a piece of chicken from Cole’s plate, but he swats him away with his fork.
“If you were hungry you should’ve brought some food with you.”
Teddy mock-gasps, eyes drifting to me. “Mom, are you going to let him talk to me like that?”
I finish chewing a bite of squash. I should’ve baked it longer, but there’s nothing I can do about it now.
“I only made enough for two. One,” I point to myself, “two.” My finger swings to Cole.
Teddy sticks his tongue out. “Fine. I’m ordering pizza and I’m not sharing.”
“Do we look like we need you to share?” Cole indicates our almost empty plates.
Sticking his nose in the air, he huffs, “I don’t have to take this abuse.”
Cole cocks his head to the side. “Need I remind you, you showed up uninvited?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He grumbles, pulling out his phone to order his pizza. Walking out of the kitchen, he plops on the couch. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be over here all by myself .” He sings the last part.
Cole presses his lips together, trying to hide his laughter. “Do you think if we put him in a box and put a sign around his neck that he’s free to a good home someone will take him off our hands?”
Before I can reply, Teddy retorts, “Hey! I heard that! And you’d miss me!”
I laugh, looking over at the pouting man-child on the couch. “Don’t worry, I’d miss you if you were gone. I won’t let him get rid of you.”
Teddy grins from ear to ear. “I knew I could count on you, Z.”
“Z?” Cole asks me with a raised brow.
Teddy answers. “We’re besties now. And besties have nicknames. She’s Z and I’m Sex God. Has a nice ring to it, like we’re superheroes or something.”
“Sex God?” Cole swings his gaze to me, stifling laughter.
“I was going to call him my little Fuzzy Wuzzy Teddy Bear, but…” I trail off with a shrug. To Teddy I say, “I’m never calling you Sex God so come up with something else.”
He straightens, his eyes losing their joking quality. “Just call me T. I like that. T and Z. Yeah,” he nods to himself, “I like that.”
I don’t know what it is about Teddy, but I want to hug him and tell him it’s all right, that he’s a good person, funny, kind, smart. I get the impression he hasn’t heard that a lot in his life.
“T it is then,” I chime. “You want a nickname too?” I eye Cole, my lips twitching with the threat of a smile.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Cole is fine.”
Teddy snorts. “But he’d sure prefer you moaning it.”
My jaw drops and Cole’s eyes grow large. “Teddy,” he warns in a low growly sound.
“What?” he mutters. “We all know it’s true.” Cole and I exchange a look and I shiver from the sexually charged air between us. We both look away quickly, eyes diverted to the food we need to finish. “See, what did I tell you? The sexual tension is spicy .”