22. Zoey
CHAPTER 22
ZOEY
It’s been two weeks since my ER visit and being smothered with the pure overprotectiveness of Cole. I might’ve balked, but damn if I didn’t actually enjoy it. I saw a gynecologist last week and was basically told it was normal and sent on my way. So much for doctors, huh? I’m going to have to make another appointment with a new doctor and hope I actually get some help.
But now Cole’s gone for an extended weekend in Michigan with his family for Thanksgiving and I’m headed to my dad’s house to spend the day with him, Allison, and my siblings.
Surprisingly, I’m not dreading it.
My relationship with my dad is a work in progress, but we’re repairing it and I don’t feel the need to flee every time I’m in his presence.
I check my appearance one last time—hair curly and wild, simple makeup, and a long-sleeve lavender sweater dress. I figure Allison is the type to want to dress up for the occasion, though no one told me any sort of dress code. But I’m sure my baggy sweatpants wouldn’t have been appreciated. Not that Allison would have said anything even if I did show up in them. She’s too nice for that. I’ll give her credit, she might not be much older than me, but she’s never fit the wicked stepmother role.
Swiping my keys and bag, I head out the door and to their house. My dad said to get there around three and that we’d eat at five.
Before I can back out of my parking spot, I get a text from Cole and smile when I see the selfie of him and what I assume is his mom. The dark-skinned woman is curled under his big arm, beaming not at the camera but her son. Her eyes slightly crinkled at the corners like she smiles and laughs a lot. Before I can reply another photo comes through, this one of Cole on the couch with his four sisters. Two little girls sit in his lap. They must be twins and not older than two or three. And finally, a photo of him and his dad hits my phone. They’re on the driveway playing basketball. The light-skinned man is taller than average, with graying hair and a beard. The look of pride in his eyes as he watches Cole about to make a shot warms my heart.
Me: Your family is beautiful.
He replies immediately. Yours is too.
A lump lodges in my throat and I vow to send him some pictures with my family today. For now, I take a selfie in my car and send it to him.
Me: On my way to their house now.
Cole: You look gorgeous. But you always are.
He’s not even here and I can feel my cheeks heat with a blush. “What is he doing to me?” I say out loud. I stick my phone in the cupholder, choosing not to reply.
Arriving at my dad’s house, I don’t even have my car in park when two little boys come barreling out of the front door.
“Zoey!”
“It’s Zoey! Daddy! Zo-Zo’s here!”
I put the car in park and shut it off, hopping out in time to be tackled by my brothers.
“I missed you!” I smother them in kisses.
Their giggles are music to my ears and tears prick my eyes thinking about how much of their lives I’ve missed out on because I was so fucking stubborn. But no more. These are my siblings and I love them.
“Come on, Zoey.” Isaac grabs my hand in his much smaller one. “Daddy got us a VR headset and it’s so cool. You have to check it out. The zombies aren’t that scary.”
“Zombies?” I squeak.
“It’s not that bad,” Gabriel promises, taking my other hand. “Issy only peed a little bit when it scared him.”
“Great.”
Inside the house, Isaac screams out again, “Zoey’s here!”
Allison’s laughter bounces around the room as she comes into the foyer from the kitchen. “We heard you the first time, Issy.” Smiling at me, she says, “They’ve been asking when you’re getting here since they woke up.”
“Really?” I look down at the two boys who still haven’t let go of my hands.
“Oh, yeah. They love you.”
I smile at her. “I love them, too.”
She beams at that. “Well, I’m sure they’ll keep you occupied until dinner’s ready.”
“Where’s Rose?” I ask, not hearing any babbling from the baby.
“She’s taking a nap. She’ll be awake soon enough and your dad had to run to the store. I didn’t have enough milk or butter. Can you believe that?” She hangs her head in shame.
“Come on, Zo.” Isaac squeezes my hand. “We want to show you the zombies.”
I let the boys take me to their playroom and reluctantly agree to battle the zombies.
They both burst out into laughter when a zombie scares me and I scream, falling to the ground.
“Dad!” Gabe giggles. “The zombie scared her so bad.”
I ease off the headset and find my dad standing in the open doorway of the room with a smile on his face, my heart tugging when I see the love in his eyes for me, for them. I shoved that love in his face for way too long. I remember a long-ago conversation, one we had when he told me he was dating Allison, and I screamed at him over and over again about how much I hated him.
I must have broken his heart.
It’s the way I felt at the time, I was a hurt teenager, but now I see things so incredibly different.
I guess that’s what they mean when they say hindsight is twenty-twenty.
“That’s because zombies are terrifying.” I smooth my hair down.
My dad chuckles. “I’m glad you’re here, Zo-Bug.”
Getting off the floor where I fell when I turned around to find a rotting green zombie face right beside me, I give him a hug. “Of course. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
His eyes warm and he hugs me back. “Are you guys good here? Rosie is awake so I’m going to grab her.”
I bite my lip. “Do you mind if I get her?”
His eyes widen. I never have anything to do with the baby. I’m not much a baby person, much preferring kids that can actually talk and tell me what they need versus an infant who just babbles.
“Um, yeah.” He jerks his head in a nod. “You can get her if you want. She’ll probably need her diaper changed, though.”
I crinkle my nose. Diapers. Ew.
“I can handle it.”
“And then you’ll play with us some more?” Isaac asks.
“Dinner’s almost ready.” Our dad ruffles his hair. “You can play more after if Zoey doesn’t have anywhere else to be.”
“I have plenty of time to play,” I assure my brothers, seeing my dad’s grin out of the corner of my eye. “I better get the baby.”
Excusing myself from the playroom, I head upstairs to the nursery, easing the door open quietly. The room is dark from blackout curtains and a sound machine plays rainfall. I turn a light on, drawing closer to the crib where the baby kicks her legs happily.
She coos when she sees me. “Hi, Rose.” I reach down, rubbing her tummy.
She gives me a funny look, her smile disappearing.
“I know you don’t see me a lot and I’m sorry about that. I’m your sister. Zoey. Or Zo. Whatever you want to call me is fine. I mean, it’s not like you can say any of that yet.”
She babbles as if she’s trying to say I might not speak your language, but I speak mine .
I think she even gives a gurgled, “Da,” but I’m not sure whether it’s random or intentional.
I’m truly clueless when it comes to babies.
Reaching down, I scoop her up and she gives a small cry but settles down as soon as she curls into me. Laying her down on the changing table I mutter to myself, “How do I do this?”
I don’t want to have to ask Allison or my dad for help. I’m almost twenty-one years old and should know how to change a diaper.
Having an aha! moment, I text Cole.
Me: Do you know how to change a diaper?
Cole: Yes, why?
Me: I need to change Rose’s diaper and I don’t know how. There’s probably a YouTube tutorial for this, right?
He doesn’t respond by text, instead my phone rings with a Facetime and I reluctantly answer it. “Hi,” I say, feeling pathetic for my lack of maternal instincts.
“Hey,” he chuckles, moving through his parents’ house and stepping outside. “You don’t need a tutorial. I can talk you through it.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“You know how to change a diaper?”
He laughs, sitting down on the porch steps, the cheery yellow front door behind him. “I have a shit-ton of nieces and nephews, I’ve changed my fair share of diapers growing up. Now, first off, I need to know what you’re dealing with. Is it a pee or poo?”
“Uh…” My eyes bug out, darting from his image on the screen to the squirming baby on the changing table. “I don’t know.”
“Time to figure it out then, Champ.”
I set my phone down where he can see me and lift the baby, smelling her butt. “It doesn’t stink.”
“It’s probably pee, but we could still get a surprise. Before you start undressing her get your fresh diaper and wipes out, and there’s probably some ointment there too for her bottom.”
There’s a basket on the table with everything in it, so within seconds I have the fresh diaper ready, a handful of wipes—probably more than I’ll ever need—and something called Desitin.
“Okay, got the arsenal ready.”
“You’re not going into war, Zoey.” His amusement is obvious.
“That’s what you think.”
“You’re going to have to take her pants off at some point and check out the damages. Stop stalling.”
“Fine,” I grumble, slipping her bottoms off.
“Now the diaper. You can do it.”
I cringe, afraid I’m going to be met with a messy surprise but it’s definitely just a very full pee diaper.
“Roll up the old diaper underneath her, wipe her down, and then slide the fresh diaper under her when she’s clean. Now, since she’s a girl you’re going to have to … uh … how do I say this … get in the crevices.”
“The crevices?” I laugh.
He rubs his face. “Look, you’re getting off easy since it’s just a pee but it can get messy around there and you want her clean.”
“Right, right. Okay. I got this,” I chant to myself.
“Yes, you do,” he assures me, his voice calm.
After getting the new diaper under her backwards at first, I finally get it right and strapped on, putting her pants back in place.
“Thank you,” I tell Cole, my relief evident as I lift the baby into my arms. She claps her hands.
He grins back, standing up. “Anytime, Zo.”
“Enjoy your dinner.”
“You too. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye.”
I hang up, and then nearly jump out of my skin when my dad says from behind me, “You and my player, huh?”
“Jesus Christ, Dad! You’re like a ninja sneaking up on me like that. Were you there the whole time?”
He laughs. “Just the past few minutes. I have to say, it was quite amusing listening to him walk you through changing a diaper.”
“I’ve never done it before.” I pat the baby’s back, rocking her in my arms. “And Cole and I … we’re nothing. I mean, we live together, but we’re not together-together.”
He looks amused more than anything else. “Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?”
Tonight, was one of the best Thanksgivings I’ve ever had, which makes me the tiniest bit guilty when I think of my mom. I know she’d be happy for me repairing my relationship with my dad and getting to know my siblings.
Taking my makeup off I hop in the shower and change into my pajamas, ready to crash for the night.
Burrowing beneath the covers, I groan when my phone starts ringing.
Reaching over to the nightstand, I grab it and pull it beneath the blankets with me.
I’m surprised to find it’s Cole Facetiming me again.
“Hey,” I say with surprise when his face appears on screen. Like me, he’s in bed and bless my eyes he’s shirtless, the tattoo on his chest there for my viewing pleasure. “When you said you’d talk to me later, I didn’t think you actually meant tonight.”
“Oh,” his face falls, “I can hang up.”
“No!” I cry out. Calming myself, I add, “I’m happy to hear from you. Did you have a good day with your family?”
“The best. It’s always nice to be with them, even if my sisters spend most of the day hazing me. It’s what I get for being the youngest and only boy.”
“I bet they’re a lot of fun.”
“I’m sure you’d love them. Then you could all gang up on me.”
“Thank you for helping me with the whole diaper thing today.” My cheeks heat. “I’m not good at baby stuff. I like kids but babies scare me.”
He chuckles. “It can be intimidating. I got used to it really quick with my older sisters having kids.”
“Are you in your childhood bedroom?” I question, noticing what looks like trophies in the background.
“Yeah, you want a tour?”
“Sure,” I answer, intrigued by the idea of seeing a peek into the boy and teen Cole was, especially since his bedroom here is lacking so much personality.
He groans as he rises from his bed and flips the camera, giving me the grand tour complete with photos of family and friends, a giant stuffed teddy bear in the corner that he explains he’s had since he was a newborn and his mom would never let him get rid of, and lots of basketball trophies.
“I like it,” I say when he sits back down on his bed. “The Big Bird yellow walls are a nice touch.”
“Ugh,” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I was six when I picked it out and my mom would never let me change it because of the work and cost of paint even though I swore I’d take care of all of it.”
“Bold choice for a six-year-old.” I prop my phone up on the opposite pillow and curl my hands beneath my head.
“What can I say? I knew what I liked and canary yellow was it.” He leans back against his wooden headboard, crooking an arm. “It looked like you had a good time with your family today.”
After I left, I sent Cole a medley of photos much like he sent me.
“It was nicer than I expected.”
“I can see how hard you’re trying, Zo.”
“Thanks.” I exhale a weighted breath. “When are you getting home?”
God, I hope I don’t sound too eager for him to get back.
“My flight is Saturday afternoon. How are you faring without me?” He grins, like he knows I’m lonely without his presence. “And without Teddy, of course?”
“What do you mean? He’s right here.” Something flashes in his eyes as I lift the covers, but leaves when I reveal the stuffed dog he got me. “See?”
“Right.” He clears his throat. “I’m glad stuffed Teddy is keeping you company.”
“And my Oreos.” I hold up the pack I stuffed under the pillow.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “You and your Oreos.”
“I love them.” With a mighty sigh at the horror, I add, “I’m going to have to find a new favorite soon. Such a shame. Red velvet was superior.”
“Apparently not superior enough for them to not retire it.”
I gasp. “You take that back.”
“Too late.”
We talk for a while longer before I start yawning uncontrollably and he tells me goodnight.
I sleep peacefully, dreaming of a life with Cole I haven’t dared to let myself even think about.