21. Teddy
CHAPTER 21
TEDDY
Walking into the off-campus bar, it’s surprisingly subdued for a Wednesday evening. Occasionally the guys and I frequent the out of the way bar, so we can catch up and shoot the shit without everyone breathing down our necks at Harvey’s.
Mascen, Cole, Cree, and Jude are already seated at the bar, and I walk over to join them.
“Hey.” Sliding out the stool, I sit down, my body nearly folding in on itself. I’m fucking exhausted after a simple phone call from my dad—I say simple, because it was his typical B.S. and nothing out of the ordinary. “Thanks for this.”
There’s already a Zombie Dust waiting for me, and I take a couple of gulps letting the alcohol hit my system.
“Saw your girl today,” Jude starts, and I look over at my friend questioning the tone in his voice. “Some girl threw coffee at her.”
“What?” I instantly bristle, ready to go on the defensive.
He sips at a Fat Tire, then rubs his lips together. “She didn’t want me to tell you.”
“Why the hell not?” I demand, ready to get the fuck out of there and find her.
Fuck, I wish I’d known. I would’ve been there in a heartbeat. Vanessa doesn’t deserve to have to deal with this shit because of me.
“Maybe it has something to do with her not being your real girlfriend.”
My mouth falls open and I struggle to find words. Jude sounds pissed, which he has every right to be since I’ve been lying, but I’m angry too.
“You told them?” I swing a hand at Cole.
“We’re your friends.” Mascen glares at me. “You’ve been running with me practically every morning and haven’t said one fucking word about this scam you’re living.”
I slam a hand down on the shiny wood countertop. The bartender glances over in concern and goes back to polishing a glass.
“Did you also tell them that I want my fake-girlfriend to be my real-girlfriend?” I’m ready to jump across the guys to punch Cole on the end.
“No.” Cole grins proudly. “I knew they wouldn’t believe me. They had to hear it from you.”
Beside me, some of the fight goes out of Jude. “You really like her?”
“I do.” My voice is steady, sure.
“Good. She’s a great girl.”
I narrow my eyes on him. “You’re not interested in my girl, are you?”
He chuckles. “Come on, Teddy. You know I’m not ready to be shackled.” He angles his stool closer in my direction. “I am curious, what were you guys doing in your room that night? Did you actually have sex because it sure as hell sounded like it.”
“No.” And if he thinks I’m going to give any more detail than that, he’s wrong.
“You’re awfully quiet.” My words are directed at Cree who hasn’t said one word since I showed up.
“I’m just here for the free beer. Mascen said you were paying.” I growl at that, giving Mascen the finger. “Seriously, dude, I can’t believe you felt you had to get a fake-girlfriend to deal with your dad and lie to us about it. We would’ve never judged you for it, as long as you didn’t use her.” He narrows his eyes on me, his normally easy-going smile dropping. Cree has a younger sister and a protective streak a mile long because of it.
“I would never use Vanessa.” The thought alone makes me sick.
Something in my voice must convince him, because he nods, “Good,” and turns his attention back to his beer.
“Why did you think you couldn’t tell us this was fake?” Mascen’s the one that voices the question, but with the way all the guys turn to me I know they want the answer too.
Sipping my beer, I weigh my words before I speak. “Because that requires telling the whole truth.”
Jude gives me a funny look, brows furrowed. “What the fuck does that mean?”
I rub my jaw, not sure where to even begin.
I guess the best place is to start at the beginning, so that’s what I do.
By the time I finish telling my friends all about my father and the abuse, they all look horrified. Which is a reasonable reaction, but it’s part of the reason I’ve always kept my mouth shut—to avoid those looks, the pity.
“Listen, don’t say anything, okay?” I practically beg, feeling like a pathetic fuck. “It’s just … part of my life. One, I want to put permanently in my past after graduation like so many other things.” I’m rambling now, but I don’t care.
“Fuck, man.” Jude claps me on the shoulder. “You don’t think we’d judge you for something like this, do you?”
I wrap my hands around my beer, staring at the bottle instead of my friends. “Look,” I begin, clearing my throat, “I know I haven’t always been the best guy or made the best choices?—”
“Whoa, whoa. I’m going to stop you right there.” This time it’s Cree who pipes in. “So what if you’ve had a little too much fun at times? That doesn’t justify anything your father has ever done to you.” I peel at the label on the bottle. “You know that, right?”
Fuck. I feel the telltale burning of tears behind my eyes. “I don’t know what I know anymore,” I admit, wetting my lips with my tongue. “I do know my father’s a royal prick, and I also know I care about Vanessa.”
“So, what are you going to do about it?” There’s a challenge in Mascen’s eyes.
“Yeah,” Cole begins, “I’ve never known you to be one to sit back. You always take what you want.”
The problem is I can’t take Vanessa. I have to show her I’m serious, that I want her, that I care.
Standing, I slap a hundred-dollar bill on the table. It’s more than enough to cover this first round. If they want more, it’s on them.
“I have to prove it to her.” Pointing at each of them, I warn, “Don’t let her know that you guys know. I don’t want her to feel embarrassed or some shit.”
I don’t wait for their reply, I’m already headed out.
Danika opens the door giving me a disgusted look. I have no idea what’s crawled up her ass or why she seems to despise me.
“I assume you’re the reason she’s been crying off and on tonight.”
It’s not a question, but I treat it as one anyway. “No, but I know why.”
I bristle just thinking about what Jude told me. Vanessa is too good, too kind, to deal with petty ass bullshit from girls who think they’re better than her when in reality they’re nowhere close to the kind of woman she is.
Danika sucks her cheeks in and seems to be debating about whether or not to let me inside.
“This wasn’t my fault,” I promise her.
She steps back. “Don’t make me regret this.” Her eyes glint with warning, and I have the feeling she’s the kind of girl who would know how to get rid of my body and not leave a trace behind.
I don’t give her a response, instead heading right back to Vanessa’s room and opening the door. It’s dim inside except for those twinkle Christmas lights hung behind her bed. Her record player is going in the corner of the room, playing a Taylor Swift album.
“Van?” I tiptoe into her room, closing the door behind me. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“Because,” she sniffles, only the top of her dark head visible beneath the mountain of blankets, “it’s not your problem, and I’m stupid for being upset about it.”
I crouch down at the head of her bed, gently peeling back the layers of covers until her pretty blue eyes and pert nose become visible. “If something upsets you, your feelings are valid. Don’t negate them by using words like stupid.”
She gives a soft sniffle. “I don’t like letting other people’s opinions affect how I feel about myself, but … I got embarrassed. I … assume Jude told you everything?”
“Most of it.”
“It was in front of the entire coffee shop.” Her lower lip trembles, and I’m torn between wanting to kiss her and my desire to hunt down the girl that hurt her. “In the moment, I didn’t even think about what had happened. I was so shocked. But after, when Jude took me away and gave me his sweatshirt, that’s when it set in, and I just … I’m not used to this attention.” She wipes away a tear, her face still mostly covered by the blankets. “People staring, muttering, making up stories about me—hating me on the grounds that I’m with you, and it’s not fair, and I’m just … tired.” She finishes her speech with a sigh.
My cheeks hollow when I suck them in, realizing I have no words to make this better. I can’t wave a magic wand and have it all go away. The people on campus are still going to do and say what they want.
“Scoot over.” I kick my boots off, lifting my shirt over my head.
“What?”
“I’m comforting my girl.” My fingers go to my belt buckle and she shrieks.
“By getting naked ?”
I chuckle. “Do you want me naked? Because I’m more than happy to accommodate you by also removing my boxers.”
“No, no!” she cries, the covers stirring. “Leave them on.”
“Ah, yes, wouldn’t want to scare you with my monster truck of a penis.”
“I said Volkswagen Beetle,” she harrumphs.
I tug off my jeans, leaving them in a pile on the floor. “That’s what your mouth said, but your eyes said something else.” She opens her mouth argue, but I don’t give her a chance to voice it. “I’m not here to talk about my penis, as nice looking as he is. I’m here for you.”
I climb over her body and tug some of the covers away so I can join her beneath them.
“What. Are. You. Doing.” She tries to hold onto the blankets.
“Getting cozy. I want blankets too. You can’t have them all.”
“You are so annoying?—”
“Annoyingly awesome? I know, right?”
“Ugh!”
I finally manage to make it beneath the blankets and tentatively reach for her body. If she doesn’t want me to hold her, I won’t push it, but man I’ll feel better if she’ll let me. When she’s in my arms I know she’s safe and cared for.
Thankfully, she wiggles her body against mine and allows me to fold myself around her. I sigh in relief when I’m fully spooning her, my breath pulses against her neck, and she gives a small giggle. It’s good to hear.
“You didn’t have to come here.” She curls her neck against my bicep so she can look behind her at me.
“I know I didn’t. I wanted to.”
She exhales a shaky breath, rolling over fully to face me. Her fingers tentatively rub my jaw, tracing over the stubble there.
“You’re nothing like I thought you were.” Her voice is a soft murmur, and her words … they mean more than she’ll ever comprehend.
“I’m nothing like I thought I was either.”
She reaches out, and I hold my breath, afraid any movement might spook her. With her index finger she touches my lips, tracing over the shape of them.
“You being here shouldn’t make me feel better, but it does.”
She looks impossibly vulnerable with the admission and my heart tugs.
“I’m glad I’m here, baby.” I kiss the top of her head.
“Can we put on Beverly Hills, 90210 ?”
I chuckle, rubbing my fingers over the soft skin of her shoulder. Everything about her is soft to my hard. If she was anyone else, I’d put the moves on her right now, shoot my best shot, but she’s not just anyone; she’s the one . She’s special, and that means I have to be patient. Even if my dick is aching to be inside her.
“Anything you want.” I’d agree to just about anything to cheer her up. “Want me to order food?”
“No, that’s okay.” She sits up and grabs her remote, turning the TV on. Looking back at me, her blue eyes shine brightly with something I can’t decipher. She doesn’t speak right away, but when she does her words pierce my heart.
“I’m sorry your father doesn’t see what a wonderful, smart, kind human being you are. But I do.”
I don’t say it out loud, but her opinion of me is all that matters.