40. Vanessa
CHAPTER 40
VANESSA
My feet ache from being on them for hours working. I’ve been picking up extra shifts when I can, needing to save every penny I can because I refuse to move back to White Claw. I love my parents, but I can’t go back there and deal with my sister and Tristan who will no doubt begin popping out kids soon.
I need distance to build my own life and focus on my dreams. Am I going to have enough money to go to New York City? Definitely not, but maybe I can make it work somewhere else and build things up and then get there. Dreams don’t come true overnight. They take work.
I sit down for my break with a glass of fresh lemonade and a B.L.T. sandwich with fries. I know I need to eat, I barely ate breakfast, skipped lunch, and it’s past dinnertime now, but even looking at food has my stomach rolling.
It’s been two weeks since I broke up with Teddy. Stupidly I thought by now I’d feel better, not worse. Every single day I wake up aching all over, my heart heavy in my chest. I did this to myself, I know, but I had no choice. Teddy is too close to gaining access to his inheritance to lose it because of me.
Fixing my ponytail, I glare at the plate of food like it’s personally offended me.
“What’s wrong with you?” Hailey, one of the other waitresses asks me.
“Haven’t been feeling the best.”
Her lips purse in speculation. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
“No,” I scoff, offended by the suggestion.
She shrugs. “It was just a question. Don’t get so pissy.” She moves away from me, checking on one of her tables.
Resting my head in my hand, I nibble on the end of a fry. When it goes down okay, I eat another. My classes wrap up this week, with graduation the week after. I should be excited, downright ecstatic, but I feel numb. I hate that such a monumental moment is being ruined for me all because I fell in love. Love is stupid. I should’ve known the day I returned to campus and couldn’t get into my dorm that it was some sort of omen. Clearly, I didn’t listen to what the fates were telling me.
A body slides into the booth across from me, and I jump at the surprise intrusion. Jude places his muscular arms on the table, lacing his fingers together. Lowering my eyes from his stare, I push my plate away. I had no appetite to begin with, and now I really don’t have one.
“Haven’t seen you in a while, so I thought I would drop by.” He picks up my discarded straw wrapper, ripping it into tiny shreds.
“You’ve gotta stop showing up to my job like this.”
He rolls his eyes. “Maybe I really want a burger. Who are you to judge?”
“Tell me why you’re here and stop wasting both our time.”
He leans back in the booth, draping his right arm along the back. The shiny red vinyl squeaks as he moves. “I guess I’m waiting for one of you to get your head out of your ass and fix this.”
“Jude.” My shoulders deflate. “Let this go.”
“Listen,” he leans forward, “I’ve been through a bad breakup before. Had my heart ripped out of my chest and everything I pictured for a future ruined. Something unforgivable happened, and I knew there was no fixing it, so I guess I have to ask you—is this fixable?”
“It’s not like that.” I look at the wall beside the booth, there’s an old Corvette poster framed there.
“Then what is it?”
Letting my hair out of its ponytail, I smooth it back and refix it. “I can’t say.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Vanessa.”
“Look,” I scoot out of the booth and stand, “I like you, Jude … as a friend.” As if that isn’t obvious. “And as a friend, I’m asking you to drop this.”
I pick up my uneaten food to get back to work, but he stops me. “Whatever this is, is it worth it?”
I exhale heavily, tears stinging my eyes. “It has to be.”